[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Friends,

Feeling like "yes we can't" ever since Obama started wrecking our economy? Lost your house in the latest natural disaster? Did some Muslim steal your job by blowing up your workplace? Did your latest credit card bill cause your spouse to file for a divorce?

STOP WORRYING AND START GETTING RICH !!!
THE CHRISTIAN WAY !!!

Why wait for the joys of Heaven until you are dead when you can have a good life of EASE, FUN and WEALTH while you are still alive! With my patent pending method of combined positive thinking and intensive prayer you will become a Millionaire, GUARANTEED! It is IMPOSSIBLE you will not become a Millionaire with this method! This method is approved by Jesus Christ Himself! "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3)

BEAT OBAMA'S RECESSION !!!
BECOME A MONEY MAGNET™ !!!

Did you ever wonder why your life is a total failure? It's your attitude! You should STOP thinking and acting like a loser and START thinking and acting like a Millionaire. How? By thinking like they do! And you can easily learn how to think like them with my amazing book! It is the second best book money can buy! The best being the Holy Bible of course. Praise The LORD for these amazing books! "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." (John 15:14)

Of course, many God loving Christians like yourself will already be successful millionaires. That doesn't mean you don't need this book! Do you have some retard in your family who keeps whining for money? Give them this book instead! And when you bought this book for them, it never hurts to read it and earn some serious money before you give it away! "Whoever sows generously will also reap generously"! (2nd Corinthians 9:6)

BUY THIS BOOK NOW !!!
CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND AFTERLIFE FOREVER !!!

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

Disclaimer: All investments involve different degrees of risk. You should be aware of your risk tolerance level and financial situations at all times. Furthermore, you should memorize the entire Holy Bible and read all transaction confirmations, monthly, and year-end statements of everyone in America. Read any and all prospectuses carefully, then burn all evidence and do extensive multi-year research before making any investment decisions. You are free at all times to accept or reject all investment recommendations made by me or my book, although I have to warn you that you risk burning in Hell for all eternity when you choose not to buy my book or when you ignore my advice of hiring me for an excessive fee as your investment adviser. All transactions I execute on your behalf are subject to market risk and may result in the entire loss of your investment. (For example: excessive withdrawals may result in the depletion of your account and also in the accumulation of excessive debt which will become entirely yours and your responsibility). Please understand that any losses are always attributed to divine intervention or market forces beyond my control. As you know, a recommendation, which you are free to accept or reject, is not a guarantee for the successful performance of an investment and I expressly prohibited from guaranteeing against losses arising from market conditions or the excessive fees you will have to pay me for my services or my book. Includes free wine glass holder, wine not included.

[Cranky Old Man]

For retards eh. Can I get one for each of my sons?

[John Creeser]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

For retards eh. Can I get one for each of my sons?

Count me in on that as well.

[Phebe Carlyle]

Pastor Manning,

I have to admit, this could not have come at a better time. I have siblings back in Australia who are constantly calling, "crying" that they need money as their cars are being reposessed, or the bank is about to foreclose on their home..etc..blah blah..blah. (Yes, Obama's cursed Presidency is far reaching). They are not Christians, refuse to become Christians, so of course I say no to their requests. I do however tell them I will pray for them.

As they are atheists, would they be allowed to use, or even be capable of using your FOOLPROOF methods?

YIC

Sister Phebe.

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Mrs. Phebe Dewitt,

Originally Posted by Mrs. Phebe Dewitt

As they are atheists, would they be allowed to use, or even be capable of using your FOOLPROOF methods?

Yes, but they would have to become Christians first. But the book explains why and how they can do this, so it is no problem to buy the book for atheists and save both their lives and afterlives!

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

So what you're saying is that none of your methods will work for an atheist, a mudslime, a hairy krishnar, a joo, nor a satan worshiper? That sets my mind at ease. I wouldn't want any of those unsaved scumballs to amass any wealth.

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Pastor Ezekiel,

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

So what you're saying is that none of your methods will work for an atheist, a mudslime, a hairy krishnar, a joo, nor a satan worshiper? That sets my mind at ease. I wouldn't want any of those unsaved scumballs to amass any wealth.

That is absolutely correct! If they refuse to become Christians my method will not work for them. It will not work for democrats, IRS agents, Catholics or whatever communists are called today either.

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Pastor Madoff, I'm confused. Why should I want to get rich for retards? Shouldn't I get rich for the glory of God, rather to benefit retards?

God hates retards. That's why He made them retarded and provided /b/ to keep them entertained and out of the way.

Is your idea to get rich and use the money to start an Ex-4Chan program, working to cure these "people" of their retardedness so they can become True Christians™?

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Rev. M. Rodracer,

Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodracer

Is your idea to get rich and use the money to start an Ex-4Chan program, working to cure these "people" of their retardedness so they can become True Christians™?

Yes, they have to become Christians for my great method to work. My amazing book explains in detail why and how they can accomplish this. If they refuse to do that, they will not become rich, as the only way to get rich is by pleasing God. "And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." (Luke 18:27)

Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.