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Trump What Trump's Hands REALLY Say About the Size of His Penis - 09-23-2017, 12:15 AM

According to my calculations, President Donald Trump's stretched flaccid penile length is 6.22 inches, placing him in the 92nd percentile, and I'm going to show you how you can verify this by looking at his hands.

Background

Trump's hands have been the subject of ridicule ever since Marco Rubio's slanderous comments during the presidential primary:
Quote:
"He's always calling me Little Marco, and I'll admit he's taller than me. He's like 6' 2", which is why I don't understand why his hands are the size of someone who's 5' 2". Have you seen his hands? And you know what they say about men with small hands." [Audience goes wild.] "You can't trust 'em. You can't trust 'em."
Of course, we all know what Little Marco was really implying by his comments. Small hands: small penis. Which is a myth. Here we have Rubio, who claims to be a Christian (although he's really Catholic), engaging in coarse jesting (Ephesians 5:4) and bearing false witness (Exodus 20:16). While such attacks against the Lord's anointed are to be expected (Psalm 89:50-51), I can't let this one go unanswered.

So how did I arrive at 6.22 inches? While the overall size of man's hand doesn't predict penis size, the difference in the length of his index and ring fingers does, according to a Korean study. The authors came up with a formula to predict stretched flaccid penile length: −9.201×digit ratio + 20.577. This is the formula we will be using, following the steps below.

1. Import this photo of a genuine cast of Trump's hand into image measurement software.

Name:  Hand.jpg
Views: 160
Size:  271.2 KB

I used SketchUp. Now, we need to start off with a known measurement. According to this article, Trump's hand is 7 1/4" long.

2. Using the tape measure tool, measure from the tip of the middle finger to the wrist.

It will probably give a ridiculously high reading, like 6' 4" or something, which is okay.

3. Manually resize the measurement to 7 1/4".

You will probably need to zoom way in now.

4. Measure Trump's index and ring fingers.

You should come up with 2 3/4" and 2 7/8" respectively. Decimalize the fractions and you should now have the following measurements:


5. Calculate the digit ratio.

Divide the length of Trump's index finger by the length of his ring finger.

2.75 ÷ 2.875 = 0.95652173913043

6. Apply the formula.

I will be working in both centimeters and inches.

−9.201×0.95652173913043 + 20.577 = 11.77604348 cm

−3.622409x0.95652173913043 + 8.1011811 = 4.636268143 in

7. Adjust for race.

This formula was taken from a Korean study. According to this study the average penis size in Korea is 9.66 cm or 3.8 in, but in America it's 12.9 cm or 5.1 in.

Race adjustment: 5.1 ÷ 3.8 = 1.342105263

So if we apply this adjustment to the results we got before, we get:

11.77604348 x 1.342105263 = 15.80468993 cm

4.636268143 x 1.342105263 = 6.222359877 in


Significance

6.22 inches (or 15.8 cm) puts President Trump in the 92nd percentile. Big, but not freakishly big.


Conclusion

Trump has his Alternative Facts. Jesus has His Creation Science and Flood Geology. Combine the two and we now have Trump Science. I would like to thank God for showing all this to me (Colossians 2:2; Proverbs 2:6). I really can't take credit for all this. All the glory belongs to God. I am only His tool. You know, it's amazing how so many people can believe something (small hands: small penis) that can easily be disproved with a simple Google search. Not content with living in ignorance, many of them perpetuate the myth by repeating it. If you're one of Trump's detractors and you're reading this, you now know the truth. Do not continue to spread a lie or speak ill of the man who will one day be our King.

Psalm 5:6 Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing: the Lord will abhor the bloody and deceitful man.



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Last edited by Pim Pendergast; 09-23-2017 at 01:05 AM. Reason: Fixed image for Brother Swallows
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Default Re: What Trump's Hands REALLY Say About the Size of His Penis - 09-23-2017, 12:49 AM

For Americans, 6.22 inches = 6 1/4 inches or something like that.


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Default Re: What Trump's Hands REALLY Say About the Size of His Penis - 09-23-2017, 02:50 AM

I've been trying to downsize and pray Donnie's thingy into respectable straight proportions but every once in a while Jesus says "no". I was worried because homers usually have much larger thallywackers than us Godly men.
Quote:
Six inches is the average length of a male erection, right? More or less? More (6.32 inches) if you're gay, apparently. And less (5.99) if you're straight. Stiff homosexual organs are one-third of an inch longer
Seems bad. My friend and your second-in-command Donald is closer to the homeraverage than to normality. What is Jesus telling us? He tells us that by His grace some of us True Heterosexual™ males can brake the pink glass ceiling and continue serving Him with larger-than-life organs. Just to show the homer majority that they don't own the monopoly to decent dingleberries. Ha and Praise Him!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: What Trump's Hands REALLY Say About the Size of His Penis - 09-25-2017, 09:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I've been trying to downsize and pray Donnie's thingy into respectable straight proportions but every once in a while Jesus says "no". I was worried because homers usually have much larger thallywackers than us Godly men.
And the study was conducted by Canadians. Goes to show how those perverts in the frostland spend their time.
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