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Exclamation ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-11-2017, 07:44 PM

The U.S. Department of Family Values works diligently to detect and prevent threats to family values, capitalism and national security. Surveilling social media and profiling the users is crucial to protect the youth against increasing rates of divorce, abortions, homosexuality and atheism/autism.

During a routine checkup, an agent of the U.S. Department of Family Values discovered something awful on Instagram. Fat women are posting photos on slim men who they want to crush by sitting on their stomach or face. Few men survive having a 200 lbs or heavier woman on top of them.
“And while the flesh was yet between their teeth, ere it was chewed, the wrath of the LORD was kindled against the people, and the LORD smote the people with a very great plague.
And he called the name of that place Kibrothhattaavah: because there they buried the people that lusted.”

- Numbers 11:33-34

“Crush doesn’t mean that”, every liberal atheist hipster will object. But by denying Jesus by changing the meaning of words every season, all they accomplish is making “mancrushmonday” work as a codename for what it literally means. So convenient for the man crushers, who currently score 4.2 million posts on Instagram with no agency but the U.S. Department of Family Values taking the threat seriously.
“For I am the LORD, I change not; therefore ye sons of Jacob are not consumed.”
- Malachi 3:6

Most men who are targeted for death by crushing does not realize the danger, by listening to liberal redefinitions of words instead of Jesus.
“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”
- Hebrews 13:8

How many of those 4.2 million are American lives at risk? A rough estimate of Instagram usage based on population and factoring in obesity rates, tech savviness and savageness gives 30 percent Americans, 30 percent Europeans, 30 percent Asians and ten percent from lesser countries. That’s almost 1.3 million American lives at risk.

How to protect yourself and your family:
  • Spank your kids with a rod.
    “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
    Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”

    - Proverbs 23:13-14
  • If you find yourself tagged #mancrushmonday, immediately turn off the phone, avoid the use of all electronics for a week and escape to an undisclosed location.
  • If your adult son lives with you, add a “no fat chicks” rule to the house terms of service.
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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-11-2017, 10:19 PM

Sound advice, brother. I pray this trend will be defeated as surely as Satan will eventually be defeated.



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-11-2017, 10:33 PM

I have my own man crush and it's winner winner chicken dinner best President, ever, Donald Trump.

Donald Trump could sell Jim Comey's kids to Vladimir Putin to make goulash stew and I would still vote for him.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Jesus Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-12-2017, 11:27 PM

Looks like I'm not the only one who has a man-crush on President Trump:



May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-13-2017, 12:06 AM

I love the fact that they all gathered for a Cabinet meeting in front of cameras just to praise him. Such a modest, humble man given all his wealth and power, just like Jesus!


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-13-2017, 11:08 PM

Many women have no respect for men. A few years ago I worked as a character actor at Disneyland - my character was Tarzan.
I had to endure a pretty insane amount of sexual harassment from women. They would often grope my chest and butt for pictures - and I had MANY notes passed to me asking to meet up later on. Of course I had to deal with it as breaking character was considered a cardinal sin. Eventually The Bible convinced me to find another job - and Jesus.
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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-14-2017, 11:02 AM

The U.S. Department of Family Values have traced the fad through major incidents in Saudi Arabia and Cambodia back to a concert with The Who back in December 3, 1979 (yes, it is a Monday!)

In his Mancrush Monday, 11 were crushed to death and another 26 sustained non-fatal injuries.
Eleven years later, the Saudis appropriated the fad, when 5000 Muslims had a Mancrush Monday in a tunnel near Mecca on Monday 2 July 1990. 1426 were crushed at that time.
On Monday 22 November 2010, the Cambodians came up with the idea of implementing a Mancrush Monday on Khmer Water Festival, crushing 347 and injuring another 755 men.
More recently, the Zambia Mancrush Monday on 6 March 2017 had eight men crushed to death and 28 another injured.
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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-14-2017, 12:25 PM

.And .of .course .we .all .know .what .happened .to .Jericho!

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Default Re: ManCrushMonday – disgusting new Instagram trend - 06-17-2017, 09:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
.And .of .course .we .all .know .what .happened .to .Jericho!

Ha hah! Donald Trump bombed them to smithereens! Tough luck for non-believers, looks like they're left in the dust again. So sad, wouldn't wanna be ya!
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