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  • #16
    Re: I was raped by a ghost!

    Originally posted by McTavish View Post
    Hell is full of arseholes like you. your a beastie basturt who will get his come upance soon enough
    Why are you attacking this man for being raped?
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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    • #17
      Re: I was raped by a ghost!

      We've been hearing about this at Landover Baptist more and more lately and I think I can speak for everyone when I say Obama is to blame. The rate at which he invited demons into the nation is astounding. We know that so-called "spirit husbands" and "spirit wives" are really demons infecting Americans in their sleep. They cause lady-problems and are the reason some men can't successfully keep "it" up. Men, the answer is not to hit your member with a hammer and yell to your lady friend to hop on quick before the swelling goes down. The answer is PRAYER!
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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      • #18
        Re: I was raped by a ghost!

        Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
        We've been hearing about this at Landover Baptist more and more lately and I think I can speak for everyone when I say Obama is to blame. The rate at which he invited demons into the nation is astounding. We know that so-called "spirit husbands" and "spirit wives" are really demons infecting Americans in their sleep. They cause lady-problems and are the reason some men can't successfully keep "it" up. Men, the answer is not to hit your member with a hammer and yell to your lady friend to hop on quick before the swelling goes down. The answer is PRAYER!





        Dear Mary,


        I apologize for being so stringent, but the rules clearly state men only.
        Last edited by Basilissa; 07-29-2020, 08:04 PM. Reason: fixed broken quote - you're welcome, sweetie

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        • #19
          Re: I was raped by a ghost!

          Originally posted by shortstack9797 View Post
          Dear Mary,


          I apologize for being so stringent, but the rules clearly state men only.
          Hello and back after your rather prolonged absence, sweetie!

          Please remember that Sister Mary (that's Mrs. Etheldreda to you) is a Saved True Christian™ woman, while you are just an unsaved trash not really worthy of our attention.

          Therefore, Sister Mary is beyond rebuke for someone like you. I hope you understand. I will pray for you.
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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          • #20
            Re: I was raped by a ghost!

            Originally posted by shortstack9797 View Post
            Dear Mary,

            I apologize for being so stringent, but the rules clearly state men only.
            Dear Miss Tack: Rather than presuming that a guest of should tell a beloved what she should be doing, might I suggest that you make your way over to our Introduction Forum, and post a proper introductory message, as we've so kindly requested? The link to that friendly forum is here:

            Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.


            Whilst there, please pay close attention to the simple requests that we've listed at the top of the page. Since you may very well miss them, I shall include them here, for your benefit:

            The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

            We look forward to getting to you know here, at .
            (Mrs.) Isabella White

            Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the Blood of Jesus"

            Comment


            • #21
              Re: I was raped by a ghost!

              Originally posted by Rick 'Magma' Bocchino View Post
              Frozen in terror with my eyes clamped shut I was too scared to move or do anything about it. Pretty soon he had my pants completely off, he climbed onto my back and nibbled on my ear for a bit, I could feel the bulge in his pants against my leg. I was terrified. I tried to scream out but I had no voice. He pulled his member out of his pants and I could feel it as it slithered between my butt cheeks. I clenched my teeth and prepared for the penetration I was about to endure.
              ...
              The ghost humped me over and over for hours, his deathly-cold member shredding my fragile rectum to pieces. When he was done my bed sheets were covered in blood and shit and semen, which was odd because up until then I never realized that ghosts could cum.
              I think we all know there's another explanation that Mr. Bocchino may be withholding to protect the weak. Rectal demons.
              If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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