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  • BrotherLarry
    Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2014
    • 2247

    #1

    Invest in Mars?

    A local evangelist held a meeting at the West Side YMCA recently in which he explained that the Lord told him we would soon all be living on Mars. He said the Lord spake unto him when he was flying from NY to LA for a rally against further gun control legislation.


    "You will not need guns on Mars," the man said. "Jesus Himself will be living there and will protect you. But how can you be assured of space on the Red Planet?"


    He then went on to explain that he is selling tracts of prime building space - some of which are being improved right now - and that the wise Christian would invest now in order to have a piece of the new Heaven that Christ has ordained on Mars. At $239,999 for one acre it sounds like a steal, but for only $500,000 you can be guaranteed a lot on the same street that Jesus is building on.


    Naturally, I was skeptical, but not completely unconvinced. Some have accused me of not thinking things through, but is there anyone here who can dispute this evangelist's claim?
    Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
    “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

    Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
    Amen and Amen
  • WilliamJenningsBryan
    True Christian™
     
    • Jan 2007
    • 9384

    #2
    Re: Invest in Mars?

    This suspiciously sounds like some kind of scheme promoted by the Mormon church, BrotherLarry - they promise that we all can get our own planets. I wouldn't be supriesed that if you dig deeper you might find Mitt Romney is behind that "investment" scam.

    Mitt Romney recently voted against our president Donald Trump in his efforts to secure our borders - no doubt wanting to send that money to Mars instead of MAGA.

    Now if someone was advocating sending the world's known troublemakers (socialists, communists, mooselimbs, Democrats, Hellywood elites, RINO's, etc.) to Mars, I would seriously entertain the idea of using the money for the border wall to accomplish it - perhaps even getting Elon Musk involved.
    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
    ...and get off my lawn
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12903

      #3
      Re: Invest in Mars?

      Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
      is there anyone here who can dispute this evangelist's claim?
      Yes, dearest Brother - God Himself can dispute it.

      "Planets" are nothing more than wandering specs of light that God has hung on the firmament for His own amusement, and which will fall down to Earth when God will remodel the world:


      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
        True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
         
        • Jul 2014
        • 8357

        #4
        Re: Invest in Mars?

        Dear Brother Uncle Larry,

        I hope you are well and that your skin rash is better? I said a special prayer for you! Mommy says I can answer this.

        Sister Basilissa already said that the "stars" will fall down to Earth when God tells them to. So even if this was a True offer and not some very bad men trying to cheat you, then your star-land would be destroyed when it hit the Earth. Not with brimstone and fire like Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 19:24) but just kind of smashed, like when you drop a light bulb on the floor and get in trouble. Plus, any houses you had built on it would be destroyed, if they did not fall off on the way down. So I would not trust this person. But I am only 10 years old and a girl.

        With best love and prayers,
        Hannah L-V
        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

        Comment

        • BrotherLarry
          Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2014
          • 2247

          #5
          Re: Invest in Mars?

          I am so grateful to all of you for your time and insight. I would no more support a Mormon cause than a demoncrap one. Why are there so many charlatans out there?

          And dear Hannah I hope you’re doing well today and your schoolwork is kept up. Won’t you give your big brothers a hug from me? Be sure it is a big slow long hug as they are very special to me. Of course you are the best of all.

          Please also give Mum my love and remind her of my planned UK ministry tour in April when your Daddy is in Scotland.

          Uncle loves you!!!!
          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
          Amen and Amen

          Comment

          • Scoutman03
            Unsaved trash
            • Mar 2019
            • 218

            #6
            Re: Invest in Mars?

            This picture confuses me a little bit because we move around the sun. And it says "Moves" And the Earth says "in-movable"

            [/QUOTE]

            Comment

            • James Hutchins
              True Christian™
              Just a Regular Nice Guy
               
              • Jun 2009
              • 29433

              #7
              Re: Invest in Mars?

              Originally posted by Scoutman03 View Post
              This picture confuses me a little bit because we move around the sun. And it says "Moves" And the Earth says "in-movable"


              Quite wrong. Below is a computerized graphical representation of the sun and moon revolving around the Earth as created by Brother Bathfire at the LBC University of Christianity and Biblical Proofs.

              Attached Files
              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

              Comment

              • BrotherLarry
                Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2014
                • 2247

                #8
                Re: Invest in Mars?

                Scoutman: The proof above should be all you need to settle your mind about this matter. It is kind of rude to interject yourself into a conversation about important financial investments to ask a question about something that ANY true scientist can ascertain through a thorough reading of scripture and the writings of Professor Dr. Elmer White. In fact, in White's 2011 investigatory writings concerning the firmament, he writes: "It is apparent that the sun moves about...and prior theories are hereby disproven." (p. 292) He adds an illustration very similar to the one above just in case skeptics doubt the facts.


                While I have not seen the holdings of Landover University due to restrictions on access, I have seen pictures and they are very convincing. You probably wonder why these things have not been released to the general public. Well, we want people to READ THE BIBLE, which is the ultimate answer book about everything.


                Yes, the firmament is in there. You know what else is in there?


                JESUS IS COMING SOON. (Rev. 22:12) BE READY.
                Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                Amen and Amen

                Comment

                • Basilissa
                  South of the Border outreach program
                  True Christian™
                   
                  • Mar 2013
                  • 12903

                  #9
                  Re: Invest in Mars?

                  Originally posted by Scoutman03 View Post
                  This picture confuses me a little bit because we move around the sun. And it says "Moves" And the Earth says "in-movable"

                  Under the words "moves" and "immovable," do you see some letters and numbers? They refer to specific verses in the Bible, and if you find these verses, you will discover (spoiler alert!) that the Bible does, indeed, say that Sun revolve around the Earth and the Earth is immovable.

                  Please, do not trust me on this - read the Word of God by yourself:

                  King James Bible Online: Authorized King James Version (KJV) of the Bible- the preserved and living Word of God. Includes 1611 KJV and 1769 Cambridge KJV.
                  God created fossils to test our faith.

                  * * *

                  My favorite LBC sermons:
                  True Christians are Perfect!
                  True Christian™ Love.
                  Salvation™ made Easy!
                  You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                  Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                  Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                  Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                  Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                  The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                  Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                  God HATES Rational Thinking!
                  True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                  Comment

                  • Scoutman03
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Mar 2019
                    • 218

                    #10
                    Re: Invest in Mars?

                    Ok, to everyone getting on me about my comment, there is a thing called NASA and cameras.





                    Or you can see it from a plane. I don't mean to be rude (If this is rude at all)
                    Attached Files
                    Last edited by James Hutchins; 03-22-2019, 08:24 PM. Reason: Images reduced to save on Bandwidth

                    Comment

                    • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                      True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                       
                      • Jul 2014
                      • 8357

                      #11
                      Re: Invest in Mars?

                      Originally posted by Scoutman03 View Post
                      I don't mean to be rude (If this is rude at all)
                      Two things: (1) it is rude to post pictures so enormous that they break the flow of the thread and (2) it is dumb not to use the search function before making a fool of yourself.
                      Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                      Comment

                      • Basilissa
                        South of the Border outreach program
                        True Christian™
                         
                        • Mar 2013
                        • 12903

                        #12
                        Re: Invest in Mars?

                        How do I know the first picture is not a computer simulation, and regarding the second picture, I've been looking at the dotted line until my eyes began to hurt, and it is still straight. Not curved.
                        God created fossils to test our faith.

                        * * *

                        My favorite LBC sermons:
                        True Christians are Perfect!
                        True Christian™ Love.
                        Salvation™ made Easy!
                        You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                        Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                        Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                        Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                        Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                        The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                        Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                        God HATES Rational Thinking!
                        True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

                        Comment

                        • James Hutchins
                          True Christian™
                          Just a Regular Nice Guy
                           
                          • Jun 2009
                          • 29433

                          #13
                          Re: Invest in Mars?

                          Originally posted by Scoutman03 View Post
                          Ok, to everyone getting on me about my comment, there is a thing called NASA and cameras.


                          Or you can see it from a plane. I don't mean to be rude (If this is rude at all)

                          You are so close. Did you know, if you look down, it can appear far away and if you look up at a star( diamond in the sky) you can almost touch one. Jump and see if you can!


                          It is all about perspective. For example, where we see good in people, you see bad.


                          Here is an actual photo as taken by our very own Pastor Ezekiel Flint that gave to me when I turned 60, one year after my wife, Mrs. Hutchins was gone.
                          Attached Files
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment

                          • Dana723
                            Forum member
                            Forum Member
                            • Oct 2017
                            • 771

                            #14
                            Re: Invest in Mars?

                            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post


                            Quite wrong. Below is a computerized graphical representation of the sun and moon revolving around the Earth as created by Brother Bathfire at the LBC University of Christianity and Biblical Proofs.

                            So easy to understand, even a child or woman or Nigra could understand it!
                            Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered?
                            1 Corinthians 11:13

                            Comment

                            • Scoutman03
                              Unsaved trash
                              • Mar 2019
                              • 218

                              #15
                              Re: Invest in Mars?

                              Originally posted by Dana723 View Post
                              So easy to understand, even a child or woman or Nigra could understand it!
                              What two words does everyone hate to hear on this forum?
                              The answer? "You're wrong."

                              Comment

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