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  • Gabriel Reproba
    Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
    The Most Honest Lawyer in America
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2009
    • 2479

    #1

    Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Lifest

    In a explosive report today, MSNBC is exposing the latest trend among goths: Mutilating their kittens to make them look like goth kitty cats:

    A northeastern Pennsylvania woman is heading to trial on animal cruelty charges for marketing "gothic kittens" with ear and neck piercings over the Internet.
    Will these children of Satan stop at nothing to spread their devil-worshiping? This is SICK!
    Yours In Christ,

    Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

    Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

    Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
    Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
    The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
    Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
    How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
    20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
    God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
    Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
    Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
    Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
    There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
    Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

    Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22899

    #2
    Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

    This is a practise as old as the Salem Witch Trials. These creatures are advanced portals to the Devil. I would not worry about the cruelty side of things as the creature is possessed by Satan, it will revel in pain.

    Click image for larger version

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    If these are found near Landover, we will take them to the Vivisection Laboratory and, after probing their satanic possession, later destroy them with fire.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Cranky Old Man
      Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
      You kids get off his lawn!
       
      • Jan 2010
      • 22379

      #3
      Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

      Amazing how low Satan will let people go. Mutilating innocent kittens, they should be ashamed of themselves.
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

      Comment

      • Bobby-Joe
        Landover Security Superviser
        Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
        NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 18405

        #4
        Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

        Goth's have no respect for life. They look at beautiful valley and can only think of paving it over to make it "productive", they see animals as nothing more than toys for them to abuse and kill at whim even another human being only has value in their eyes as a set of reproductive organs. The Goth looks at the world hand can only think of warping it to fit their own twisted idea of paradise and will ruthlessly destroy anyone in there way.

        As a TRUE Christian this kind of thinking makes me sick.

        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

        Hot Must ReadThreads!


        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

        Comment

        • Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Oct 2009
          • 160

          #5
          Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

          Where is the PETA wackos when you need em?
          If ever there was a time for them to do a nude advertisement of some alluring womerns with sultry inviting curves ...
          and an enticing come-hither look in her eyes that says I want you Rev Jeffie ... er, uhh... protesting against some goth kittie-critterisation, now is the time!


          Here is a Christian kitten collector plate for Sister Petal (so she don't get bothered by the goth kitty ) >>>

          Rev Jeffrey Lebowski
          Sister Verna Too {she tried to run a goth kid over with her car}

          Comment

          • James Hutchins
            True Christian™
            Just a Regular Nice Guy
             
            • Jun 2009
            • 29453

            #6
            Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

            LOL, love the plate, Rev Lebowski. My littlest boy (he is such a precocious 4 year old) likes to nail cats to 2X4's. He'll get a kick out of the plate when I show it to him later after he finishes his chores.
            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

            Comment

            • Noah Dint
              True Christian™
              • Dec 2009
              • 695

              #7
              Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

              And after they are sold on eBay, according to media.petzz.com - the horror lies in how they ship them!



              A travesty I tell you.

              -ND

              Comment

              • Wide-Open
                Director of European Evangelical Outreach
                A Shining Example of Christ's Love
                Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
                True Christian™
                • Nov 2007
                • 18449

                #8
                Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                These animals are (sorry Petal ) HELL BOUND!
                Attached Files
                Psalm 81:10:
                I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
                open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

                Comment

                • Petal
                  LBC psychiatric outpatient. Progressing nicely.
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 991

                  #9
                  Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                  i rebukes that mutillator lady cuz kittys already be sinfull enuff wiv-out her makin them into goths! an i not unnerstands why she were so mean cuz if unsaved folk wants to accesorize thier goth kittys there be more betterer an kind ways to do it

                  Comment

                  • Larry Lee
                    Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
                    True Christian™ Theologian
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 4464

                    #10
                    Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                    I'm somewhat encouraged to hear that gothtards have the ability to focus on something else other than themselves. We might yet be able to turn one or two of them into tithing True Christians(tm).
                    sigpic

                    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                    Comment

                    • Freeks-Angel
                      Forum Member
                      • Jan 2010
                      • 111

                      #11
                      Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                      How could people do such a thing to there poor innocent kittens? The kitten could be confused and scared.
                      Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                      Peter 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.

                      Comment

                      • Pastor Ezekiel
                        Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                         
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 78556

                        #12
                        Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                        Originally posted by Freeks-Angel View Post
                        How could people do such a thing to there poor innocent kittens? The kitten could be confused and scared.
                        It's just a dumb animal. It's not like they have a soul.
                        Who Will Jesus Damn?

                        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Freeks-Angel
                          Forum Member
                          • Jan 2010
                          • 111

                          #13
                          Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                          I guess it is.
                          Deuteronomy 6:5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
                          Peter 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ.

                          Comment

                          • Nobar King
                            Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                            Christ's Guardian
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2007
                            • 23748

                            #14
                            Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Li

                            Originally posted by Rev Jeffrey Lebowski View Post
                            Where is the PETA wackos when you need em?
                            Where do these people think the feathers come frome? Huh?
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • marty72208
                              Unsaved trash
                              • Jan 2013
                              • 1

                              #15
                              Re: Goth Kittens: The Latests Evidence of the Evil of the Goth Lifest

                              Ok, I don't agree with what is going on with the kittens BUT wht's teh difference when someone clips the ears of a doberman or cut off their tails? And not all witch craft is worshipping satan. Just like not all religions believe in the story of Jesus. Or how some believe that the virgin mary got pregnant out of wedlock and to keep from being stoned to death she claimed she didn't know how she got pregnant that it must have been by a ghost. Which, even if the story of mary is true why would God select a 13 year old girl (starting to see a trend here) and it was without her consent so it'd be rape.

                              Comment

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