Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

During the debate, Donald Trump basically admitted that he doesn't pay taxes:

"It would just be squandered"..."That makes me smart"

Trump's campaign said that it's Trump's job to cheat the system:

“Mr. Trump is a highly skilled businessman who has a fiduciary responsibility to his business, his family, and his employees to pay no more tax than legally required.”

So how much tax IS legally required? Fortune Magazine crunched the numbers and says it's zero:

The Times said that large a loss, even in a single year, was likely enough to wipe out any income taxes Trump would have normally had to pay for as many as 18 years. Trump, like many very wealthy U.S. citizens, funnels his income and business dealings through a variety of corporate structures. Those arrangements allow Trump to carry losses forward for many years.

I'm glad to see how things have changed. In the 1970's if you cheated say, the welfare system, it was a scandal. You would be called a "welfare queen" with a "welfare Cadillac" and the nation would vote just to spite you. Yet today if you did the same thing (on a much larger scale) you are hailed as a great businessman. You're not a welfare queen, you're just smart.

So, let's take inspiration from Mr Trump! Everyone repeat after me:

“I have a fiduciary responsibility to my family to exploit the system as much as is legally possible.”

So let's hear how smart you are. How have you proven your smarts cheating the system today?

I'll start: yesterday my son raided the cookie jar, eating the whole thing right before dinner. He said "You said I can't have a cookie. You never said I couldn't eat the whole jar of cookies while standing on tiptoes." And he was right, I hadn't closed the tiptoe loophole. "That proves I'm smart." And he is, I think he's clearly smart enough to decide on family menus from now on.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

If negroes are not required to be slaves anymore, why would white people be required to pay taxes?

[Basilissa]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

I'm glad to see how things have changed. In the 1970's if you cheated say, the welfare system, it was a scandal. You would be called a "welfare queen" with a "welfare Cadillac" and the nation would vote just to spite you. Yet today if you did the same thing (on a much larger scale) you are hailed as a great businessman. You're not a welfare queen, you're just smart.

Amen! Just imagine how great this country would be if every single citizen did what The Donald () has been doing: the federal government would be forced to cut all of the spending because they'd have no money at all! No more Big Government! No more IRS! Hurray!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

Until all tax revenue is turned over to True Christians™ to spend as Jesus wants, there really is no reason to pay taxes. Donald will pay taxes when that happens.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

It will surprise no one to hear that I am a genius. Every since I accidentally shot an IRS agent, he was black, I assumed he wanted to steal something, which turned out to be true, I stopped paying taxes completely. I even deducted the price of the bullet from the taxes I paid in the past. Jesus is with those who trust Him over Obama's crooked government.

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

Amen! It's not unethical, he's just being a smart business man. Unfortunately, I have paid some income tax. I'm very ashamed of this fact and I'm working to rectify it as quickly as possible. I'm not quite as smart as Donald Trump yet, but I'm getting there. I just need to find a way to convince the IRS that my car, house, clothes, large TVs, entertainment, vacations, are all legitimate business expenses. How else am I going to attract clients?

Anyway, some tips for being smart.

• Unfortunately, as I mentioned, I did pay some federal income tax. However, there is a silver lining. If you have as little money withheld from your taxes as possible, then neglect to pay them, you can call the IRS and workout a payment plan. Generally they'll give you around a 2%-3% interest rate. Not bad! You can invest this money that the IRS is loaning you into the stock market and get a much more favorable return.

• If you ever want free medical care, look for a town with a volunteer first aid squad and call and then call 911. You'll get a checkup and medical advice for free, just reject transportation to a hospital afterwards. Alternatively, you can go to the hospital but provide fake information/address.

• You can often find free flowers near graves and cemeteries. Not that I really suggest and self-respecting man waste time giving away flowers, but if you are going to at least don't pay for them yourselves. Graves of children tend to have better flowers.

• Got a broken item that is out of warranty? TV, computer, etc. Go to the store, buy a NEW item, with a warranty, then swap out the old item with the new one and return the OLD item! Claim it's the new item but it broke as soon as you got it! Free replacement!

• Work at a company that pays for travel/business expenses? You can edit your receipt in Photoshop to tack on an extra $50 or so. Nobody will notice.

• Need a way to get cheap gasoline? Get a prepaid visa card loaded with $2, then buy as much gas as your car can carry. When you use a card at a gas pump, it’s common for the station to immediately submit a $1 charge to the card issuer for authorization. This is how the gas station confirms that the card is valid. Then they charge the full amount of the gas later. But if your card doesn't have the funds on it, they can't charge you!

• All of the handicapped spots filled up? Cut out the bottom of a trashcan and place it over a fire hydrant for easy parking. They can't fault you unless they see you doing it! How were you supposed to know that there was a fire hydrant there?

• Put clear skateboard grip tape over your license plate. People will be able to read it, but it creates a glare when photographed with a flash. Good for stopping big government thugs from trying to steal your money just because road ways are incorrectly displaying a red light or something. Alternatively, you can take a photo of someone else's license plate, print it out on glossy paper, and put it over your own license plate. Best used on annoying neighbors and liberal thugs. They're probably evading taxes somewhere else anyway so this just evens the scales.

• Another good way to avoid nasty tickets. You can register your car in a family member's name (preferably of the opposite gender) and they can register their car in your name. Then when nasty big government tickets come rolling in, you can truthfully say the person in the photo is not you, because it's someone of the opposite gender.

• Need new tires? Rent a car with similiar tires and swap them out.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

It will surprise no one to hear that I am a genius. Every since I accidentally shot an IRS agent, he was black, I assumed he wanted to steal something, which turned out to be true, I stopped paying taxes completely. I even deducted the price of the bullet from the taxes I paid in the past. Jesus is with those who trust Him over Obama's crooked government.

Brother Cranky,


I absolutely knew you were a genius, and I hope you know that despite being very intimidating, you are someone after whom I hope to pattern my life as a certified equine gnathologist, future vet, equine psychoanalyst, and PhD in Creation Science even though you are none of those things.


Are you?


COME LORD JESUS!
BrotherLarry

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

I know some muslims who send their women to beg for them without paying taxes. If u want to know how low you can go a muslim has probably already done it.
Actually since beggars don't create any jobs they should pay some taxes.

[Basilissa]

Re: Are you smart enough to cheat the system as well as Donald Trump?

This just in:

Donald J. Trump declared a $916 million loss on his 1995 income tax returns, a tax deduction so substantial it could have allowed him to legally avoid paying any federal income taxes for up to 18 years, records obtained by The New York Times show.

The 1995 tax records, never before disclosed, reveal the extraordinary tax benefits that Mr. Trump, the Republican presidential nominee, derived from the financial wreckage he left behind in the early 1990s through mismanagement of three Atlantic City casinos, his ill-fated foray into the airline business and his ill-timed purchase of the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan.


Tax experts hired by The Times to analyze Mr. Trump’s 1995 records said that tax rules especially advantageous to wealthy filers would have allowed Mr. Trump to use his $916 million loss to cancel out an equivalent amount of taxable income over an 18-year period.

Source

Now, this is VERY smart. (Some nay-sayers might use that to point out Trump's terrible investment track record, but this is obviously not true). Praise for giving the Republican Party such a great nominee and praise for being with The Donald () during this difficult time of political campaign.