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I've got it! A way to finally explain how evolution is completely IMPOSSIBLE to these ignorant atheists and Jesus-haters! I was talking with my 11 year old daughter about this evolution nonsense. And, as all we True Christians™ do, I was allowing her to come to her own conclusions and form her own opinions. She disproved evolution through reason so completely that even an atheist will be unable to refute it!
So that's the secret - speak to atheists like they're children. After all, anybody who refuses to listen to reason has the mind of a child. That's the problem, we've been speaking to atheists like they're adults when they're not (intellectually) adults at all. Children better understand other children. Here is a transcript of our conversation.
I was reading a typical vapid post of an evolutionist trespasser here and simply didn't know how to get through to her.And my daughter piped up:
Mary (my daughter): Daddy, you look worried about something.
Me: No dear, not worried, just a little frustrated. Can't seem to get through to the atheists about this evolution foolishness.
Mary: What's evorlotion?
Me: Well it's kinda complicated. They think worms gave birth to monkeys which gave birth to humans. So we all came from worms and monkeys rather than God. And apparently some of the worms turned into trees too. They're very strange people (sigh).
(She collapsed in laughter at this for a full 2 minutes then composed herself)
Mary: So they really think worms made monkeys and monkeys made human?
Me: Yeah. They call it science.
Mary: Do any of those atheists fish?
Me: I don't think so, they're mostly vegans and members of PETA. They think fish have feelings or something.
Mary: Weird, but they must know people who fish, people who use worms for bait?
Me: Probably, why?
Mary: Ask them if they know of anyone who ever opened a can of worms and found a monkey inside!
Me: Hmm, not bad. But what about the monkey to human thing?
Mary: We have monkeys in zoos, right? And we watch monkeys in Africa all the time. Ask them if one has ever been seen giving birth to a human!
Me: You're right! That has never happened! Yet that's exactly what they're saying HAS happened!
Mary: Besides, if a worm gave birth to a monkey it couldn't take care of the monkey, could it?
Me: Nope.
Mary: And if a Monkey gave birth to a human it couldn't take care of it and teach it to talk, right?
Me: Not a chance! Thank you Mary, I finally have a way to get through to those thickheaded atheists! Now go do the dishes.
And that should permanently end the debate. You're forever welcome former atheists.
So that's the secret - speak to atheists like they're children. After all, anybody who refuses to listen to reason has the mind of a child. That's the problem, we've been speaking to atheists like they're adults when they're not (intellectually) adults at all. Children better understand other children. Here is a transcript of our conversation.
I was reading a typical vapid post of an evolutionist trespasser here and simply didn't know how to get through to her.And my daughter piped up:
Mary (my daughter): Daddy, you look worried about something.
Me: No dear, not worried, just a little frustrated. Can't seem to get through to the atheists about this evolution foolishness.
Mary: What's evorlotion?
Me: Well it's kinda complicated. They think worms gave birth to monkeys which gave birth to humans. So we all came from worms and monkeys rather than God. And apparently some of the worms turned into trees too. They're very strange people (sigh).
(She collapsed in laughter at this for a full 2 minutes then composed herself)
Mary: So they really think worms made monkeys and monkeys made human?
Me: Yeah. They call it science.
Mary: Do any of those atheists fish?
Me: I don't think so, they're mostly vegans and members of PETA. They think fish have feelings or something.
Mary: Weird, but they must know people who fish, people who use worms for bait?
Me: Probably, why?
Mary: Ask them if they know of anyone who ever opened a can of worms and found a monkey inside!
Me: Hmm, not bad. But what about the monkey to human thing?
Mary: We have monkeys in zoos, right? And we watch monkeys in Africa all the time. Ask them if one has ever been seen giving birth to a human!
Me: You're right! That has never happened! Yet that's exactly what they're saying HAS happened!
Mary: Besides, if a worm gave birth to a monkey it couldn't take care of the monkey, could it?
Me: Nope.
Mary: And if a Monkey gave birth to a human it couldn't take care of it and teach it to talk, right?
Me: Not a chance! Thank you Mary, I finally have a way to get through to those thickheaded atheists! Now go do the dishes.
And that should permanently end the debate. You're forever welcome former atheists.
Evolution doesn't claim this.)
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