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  • Re: False Religions Register

    holy crap, doesnt look like anyones going to heaven! must be a small place

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    • Re: False Religions Register

      Originally posted by lostsurferinbc View Post
      holy crap, doesnt look like anyones going to heaven! must be a small place
      So, God's given you the Keys to the Eternal Kingdom, eh? You'll be there whilst He takes a break?

      Just who do you think will make it to Heaven, and, more to the point, who will not?
      sigpic


      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

      Author of such illuminating essays as,
      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

      Comment


      • Re: False Religions Register

        Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
        So, God's given you the Keys to the Eternal Kingdom, eh? You'll be there whilst He takes a break?

        Just who do you think will make it to Heaven, and, more to the point, who will not?
        definitly not any one from landover i can tell you that much

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        • Re: False Religions Register

          especially when a church designs and make money from t-shirts from hell!

          Comment


          • Re: False Religions Register

            Originally posted by lostsurferinbc View Post
            definitly not any one from landover i can tell you that much
            Then you question God's Word? You think He has given us a false document when He gave us KJV 1611? You think His Commandments are to be perhaps, "taken with a dose of healthy skepticism"?

            And this is why you are a false Christian - or, to put it another way, no Christian at all!
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment


            • Re: False Religions Register

              Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
              Then you question God's Word? You think He has given us a false document when He gave us KJV 1611? You think His Commandments are to be perhaps, "taken with a dose of healthy skepticism"?

              And this is why you are a false Christian - or, to put it another way, no Christian at all!
              your not the only church thats uses the king james bible

              Comment


              • Re: False Religions Register

                Originally posted by lostsurferinbc View Post
                your not the only church thats uses the king james bible
                But very few churches follow all of it.

                I've seen many so-called "churches" that allow women to preach, for example! Others that allow homosexuals or people wearing blended fabrics to attend! Some even let their members read horoscopes!
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment


                • Re: False Religions Register

                  Originally posted by lostsurferinbc View Post
                  your not the only church thats uses the king james bible
                  (a) that addresses none of God's points and (b) I see it as a sign that your post was number 666
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                  Comment


                  • Re: False Religions Register

                    Congratulations to LostSurfer for achieving post number 666 in the false religions register. You must have really earned it.
                    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                    Comment


                    • Re: False Religions Register

                      Question. How can an atheist, who doesn't believe there IS a Satan, worship Satan?
                      Has seen the light of God. Is now reading the Bible to repent his old wicked ways.

                      Comment


                      • Re: False Religions Register

                        It's more a process of elimination. A heretic atheist has renounced God, and put himself on the side of Satan. There's no middle ground here. Now, just because you dim-witted, narrow minded deluded atheist types may think that just because you don't believe in God that there automatically isn't a Devil you are, therefore, you aren't worshipping him, don't let that fool you. You are wrong. You are doing exactly what he wants you to do.

                        Turning your back on God, taking drugs, sticking it up the wrong tube, worshipping men with beards and turtles; it's exactly what he wants. But don't feel bad, you can always renounce your heathen ways. Just because you are too dense to realise the truth, doesn't mean you can't come round. God is still there for you, my friend, and he wants you to give. Give your soul to him. Give your mind to him. Give your money to us. Click the paypal button below, and let Jesus into your daemon infested heart.
                        BEHOLD!!!
                        THE BUS TO DAMNATION!
                        sigpic
                        May Jesus guide this Bus off a cliff and STRAIGHT TO HELL!

                        Comment


                        • Re: False Religions Register

                          Originally posted by Ahlen Atheati View Post
                          Question. How can an atheist, who doesn't believe there IS a Satan, worship Satan?
                          Whatever is not of God, is of satan. Is that simple enough for you, fool?
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                          Comment


                          • Re: False Religions Register

                            Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                            But very few churches follow all of it.

                            I've seen many so-called "churches" that allow women to preach, for example! Others that allow homosexuals or people wearing blended fabrics to attend! Some even let their members read horoscopes!
                            Oh wow. women can't preach because they have INNER organs instead of OUTER. oooooooohhhhh. So bad. Hey guess what? Your creator that you preach about, God, they call him, HAS NO GENDER. Now that was a burn, brother. Now go read the bible until you know it by heart, good little priest!

                            Now kiss my a*s.
                            Wife beaters are weak and pathetic. We don't need to be punished. You do, FOR BEATING PEOPLE WEAKER THAN YOU. Stop being cowards.

                            Comment


                            • Re: False Religions Register

                              Originally posted by emmybear View Post
                              Oh wow. women can't preach because they have INNER organs instead of OUTER. oooooooohhhhh. So bad. Hey guess what? Your creator that you preach about, God, they call him, HAS NO GENDER. Now that was a burn, brother. Now go read the bible until you know it by heart, good little priest!

                              Now kiss my a*s.
                              Better listen up, lezbean. God wants you to shut your yap and let Men do your thinking. GLORY!!

                              Who Will Jesus Damn?

                              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                              Comment


                              • Re: False Religions Register

                                Originally posted by Max Bayes View Post
                                It's more a process of elimination. A heretic atheist has renounced God, and put himself on the side of Satan. There's no middle ground here. Now, just because you dim-witted, narrow minded deluded atheist types may think that just because you don't believe in God that there automatically isn't a Devil you are, therefore, you aren't worshipping him, don't let that fool you. You are wrong. You are doing exactly what he wants you to do.

                                Turning your back on God, taking drugs, sticking it up the wrong tube, worshipping men with beards and turtles; it's exactly what he wants. But don't feel bad, you can always renounce your heathen ways. Just because you are too dense to realise the truth, doesn't mean you can't come round. God is still there for you, my friend, and he wants you to give. Give your soul to him. Give your mind to him. Give your money to us. Click the paypal button below, and let Jesus into your daemon infested heart.
                                Okay, this has nothing to do with this thread or what im quoting.
                                Pastor E, GOD DOESNT CARE ABOUT THIS FORUM. He doesn't care about your small and insignificant life. He doesn't care that im HOMOSEXUAL. Oooh. I just said the H word. Guess what? I could sue this website for all its worth for discrimination. I have every right to express my opinion. Sure, i could say it nicer. But you could also SHUT THE HELL UP and stop insulting me... and what i stand for. Seriously. You need therapy in a big way. And try spelling LesBIAN right. Its not LEZBEAN. Its not a bean. Go back to preschool and learn spelling.
                                You know, your not that bad looking. If i wasn't this supposed "lesbian" and you werent an arrogant freak, I bet you'd be pretty charming! But your not. Too bad. A perfect waste of sperm. << me and my supposed "lesbian lover." And just to say it one more time.
                                IM STILL GODS FAVORITE "LEZBEAN."
                                Wife beaters are weak and pathetic. We don't need to be punished. You do, FOR BEATING PEOPLE WEAKER THAN YOU. Stop being cowards.

                                Comment

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