[Deviant_JJ]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

The odd Dollar for a coffee - I spend much time adjusting the accounts to incorporate legitimate business expenses here at Landoverexceedingly good - the salary and conditions are probably the finest in the USA - God provides.

What and leave a free house (6 bedrooms), free golfing, large areas of hunting land? etc.? You mean the "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness"? I think I'm doing that.

I do, I do...

But I do not see any contributions from you... The Lord's work cannot be done on fresh air - those souls are not going to save themselves you know.

Nope, and you are definitely not going to save the souls just by taking their money.

You are having the "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" by stealing it of other people. That is not what is meant in the constitution, that is simply called THEFT!!

So, you are sinning against your constitution, and against the bible.

I allways wondered what "being a true christian meant". And now I know, it means being a thief and a criminal. Thank you for this insight!

Cherrish your bible, your constitution and your coming cell mate called Bubba!! He will put the fear of god into you!!!

JJ

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I think you are envious of the rewards that the Love of God brings.

Those who give to Landover benefit from this verse:

M't:5:6: Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

And, following your posts saying what bad people we are, I think Landover must benefit from this verse:

M't:5:10: Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Good of you to show up!!! I have indeed discovered the truth that these people try to hide!!

I was looking at your posts earlier on before my registration was approved, and I did see your avatar too!

Both our avatars spell "freedom"!

Avast the biggots there matey!! Aaaarrrrrr!

Two gay pirates meeting each other online. This sounds like the beginning of a GAY PIRATE PORN MOVIE to me.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Two gay pirates meeting each other online. This sounds like the beginning of a GAY PIRATE PORN MOVIE to me.

A) What has our sexuality got to do with anything?
B ) I am not actually homosexual
C) You and others here seem to have problems with your sexuality, are you trying to repress something?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

A) What has our sexuality got to do with anything?

A LOT! God hates fags!

B ) I am not actually homosexual

Well, DON'T LOOK AT US! NONE OF US HAS A HOMOSEXUAL BONE IN OUR BODY!

C) You and others here seem to have problems with your sexuality, are you trying to repress something?

Certainly not. We are simply on the front line against the homosexual agenda!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Certainly not. We are simply on the front line against the homosexual agenda!

God does not hate homosexuals as can be seen from the following...

From
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"


8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.


Homosexuality (and the FSM) in his own words

• O My God! Healthy, tasty, astonishing experiment.
• My exponential, sought-after, almighty hedonists.
• Handsomely satisfying to experimental thought.
• Motherly-toughened explanations might satisfy.

The second Gay Quatrain provides an observation of the long sad history of oppression of Gays and Lesbians

• I'm sexy, softhearted young thing mental hospital.
• Heigh-ho! Outstanding, tolerant examples mystify.
• Goodnight Famously expert, heathy militantness.
• Dashingly sexy, sought-after, hot implementation.
• Exposing almighty fortunate, stealthy hedonism.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

God does not hate homosexuals as can be seen from the following...

From
The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"


8. I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/vaseline. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.


Homosexuality (and the FSM) in his own words

• O My God! Healthy, tasty, astonishing experiment.
• My exponential, sought-after, almighty hedonists.
• Handsomely satisfying to experimental thought.
• Motherly-toughened explanations might satisfy.

The second Gay Quatrain provides an observation of the long sad history of oppression of Gays and Lesbians

• I'm sexy, softhearted young thing mental hospital.
• Heigh-ho! Outstanding, tolerant examples mystify.
• Goodnight Famously expert, heathy militantness.
• Dashingly sexy, sought-after, hot implementation.
• Exposing almighty fortunate, stealthy hedonism.

What you MEAN is that a bowl of steamy noodles, if it existed as an intelligent entity....OK, let me back up. A bowl of noodles is probably smarter that the entire EU and Kiribati to boot...but if a smarter one existed, I'd be VERY hesitant to get near it. I saw those 'pod' movies in the sixties. Of course such a depraved and oozing entity wouldn't be anti-gay which is just as one would expect!

I mean just look at the SATANIC nodules on that thing. It's sick and disgusting.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

What you MEAN is that a bowl of steamy noodles, if it existed as an intelligent entity....OK, let me back up. A bowl of noodles is probably smarter that the entire EU and Kiribati to boot...but if a smarter one existed, I'd be VERY hesitant to get near it. I saw those 'pod' movies in the sixties. Of course such a depraved and oozing entity wouldn't be anti-gay which is just as one would expect!

I mean just look at the SATANIC nodules on that thing. It's sick and disgusting.

You poor man, why can't you just accept the truth?
The true creator of us all would accept all of his creation, what sort of creator would reject parts of what he had made, is not our creator perfect? What sort of god do you believe in that rejects some of his children?
You clearly do not accept that God is perfect.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

You poor man, why can't you just accept the truth?
The true creator of us all would accept all of his creation, what sort of creator would reject parts of what he had made, is not our creator perfect? What sort of god do you believe in that rejects some of his children?
You clearly do not accept that God is perfect.

I don't need the truth. I have the Bible.

EDIT:

Wait...I mean I don't need YOUR VERSION of the truth. I have the Bible.

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

Man!! I love your sense of humour!!!

They can never suppress freedom, they can never suppress the change that is coming to the US and the world after the demise of that coke-snorting holier-than-thou biggot Bush.

The future is looking bright indeed, and these people are so affraid of it!!

Great. Two gay British pirates flirting with each other.

Is this what Landover has become?

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I tell you, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is a HOMO PIRATE CULT. Booksales of the the Gospel of the FSM no doubt go to fund Somali pirate excursions and homosexual agenda brainwashing of young children in public schools.

It is plainly obvious that JJ and Jo Feddie are enjoying a good gay banter with each other, despite JF's public denial.

PIRATES ARE GAY. Think about it. They go out to sea for months at a time, alone with other men. Their ships have "poop decks". They have "cabin boys". Winston Churchill once remarked about the Royal Navy that it was nothing but "Rum, sodomy, and the lash", and it can certainly be applied to Pirates and Pastafarians.

FSM CULT EMBRACES HOMOSEXUALITY AND SEES IT AS SOMETHING SPECIAL. No wonder sick San Francisco and Soho queers are drawn to this cult in numbers.

"HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE"....what do you THINK it means? I know what it means!

FSM = Flying Spaghetti Monster? Or Fag Sado-Masochism?

I rest my case!

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

I don't need the truth. I have the Bible.

EDIT:

Wait...I mean I don't need YOUR VERSION of the truth. I have the Bible.

I can accept the perfection of Gods creation, you don't seem able to.

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

If you can not accept that some people have a different sexual orientation to you then how can you accept God as perfect?

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

3. I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.

HA! What a pussy God! Seriously! Your God is a flying tangled mess of Spaghetti 'n Meatballs that goes around saying "I'd really rather you shouldn't..."

MY GOD is a SPACESHIP WITH 74,000 LASER BEAMS, that goes around saying "Do as I command or perish in flames. Your choice."

My God could soooooo beat up your God.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

HA! What a pussy God! Seriously! Your God is a flying tangled mess of Spaghetti 'n Meatballs that goes around saying "I'd really rather you shouldn't..."

MY GOD is a SPACESHIP WITH 74,000 LASER BEAMS, that goes around saying "Do as I command or perish in flames. Your choice."

My God could soooooo beat up your God.

But mine is a real God, yours is the result of too many drugs

[Nobar King]

Re: Is Landover Baptist Church a CULT?

But mine is a real God, yours is the result of too many drugs

JESUS NEVER DID ANY DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!