Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depressed

[Gabriel Reproba]

A new study has proved, once and for all, that Muslims don't really believe in Islam. They are all just depressed. The study reviewed hundreds of suicide bombers (Muslims) and found that an extremely high percentage of the exhibited depression and suicidal tendencies. The report concludes that all suicide bombers are just depressed but they don't want to commit a sin. (Unlike the Holy Bible, The True Word Of God, the koran has explicit and strict prohibitions against suicide.) So instead of manning up and just hanging themselves, they use their pretend faith in Islam as an excuse to kill themselves. They think, "Since I committed suicide in a holy effort, I am a martyr and NOT a sinning heathen who simply committed suicide. Because if I DID simply kill myself I would go to Hell. So I uh....believe in Islam and I am a holy hero. Yeah...that's the ticket! Boom!"

One of the anecdotes in the report is enlightening:

Qari Sami did something strange the day he killed himself. The university student from Kabul had long since grown a bushy, Taliban-style beard and favored the baggy tunics and trousers of the terrorists he idolized. He had even talked of waging jihad. But on the day in 2005 that he strapped the bomb to his chest and walked into the crowded Kabul Internet cafe, Sami kept walking — between the rows of tables, beyond the crowd, along the back wall, until he was in the bathroom, with the door closed.

And that is where, alone, he set off his bomb.

The blast killed a customer and a United Nations worker, and injured five more. But the carnage could have been far worse.

Now you, like me, probably just think "Well, he is a towel-head mooslim; they can't do anything right. He just screwed up." But this report finds that this was done not because he was an incompetent camel jockey, but because he just wanted to kill himself without harming others and he used his religion as an excuse to make himself feel good about what he wanted to do anyway.

Since all muslims are suicide bombers, this report proves that all muslims don't really believe in Islam. They just want to kill themselves and have found the one religion that gives them a loophole that lets them do what they want.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

A new study has proved, once and for all, that Muslims don't really believe in Islam. They are all just depressed.

That makes sense as it completely explains all those suicides. It also explains why all those women are into black clothing and why all those men never bother to shave.

[Marshall]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

They need a change of venue. The Middle East is a disgusting cistern filled with the stink of corpses, burning rubber and smoldering hair beneath a STRONG, musky body odor sort of stink that is hard to describe to someone who hasn't been there. It would be like living right next door to a chicken farm all the time only the smell is worse.
The heat makes it worse.
The sand makes it worse.
Life there isn't like life as we know it. Other terrorists living in better climates simply love the pedophilia and homosexual aspect of Islam, the women have no choice otherwise they'd be Christian for sure. No one in their right mind would actually want to be an unintelligent sheep following some arcane faith created by a desert nomad hundreds of years ago. If the Muslims would abandon all that and just follow Jesus they would see the error of their former ways.
I can't guarantee they'd go to heaven since they were hideously blaspheming before they converted. It depends on if they asked Jesus for forgiveness the right way I guess. Ask Him wrong and why would He bother. Who wants to spend eternity with a smelly former Islamist? It really is pretenteous that a Muslim even converts to Christianity anyway. I mean there is no way God wants someone like that hanging out in Heaven forever. Why would they even think He would welcome them after the way they were? Like anointing a pornstar as a Pastor. It's just a bad idea to mess with Gods nerves like that, He is liable to destroy a city or something(Katrina, Singapore< tsunamis< earthquakes<floods<etc).

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

No bacon, no beer, women dressed in black tents, wives you only see after you've married them, no Jesus, no wonder they are depressed.

[Marshall]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

Plus the only time they spend somewhere allegedly holy is spent blaspheming and hurting Jesus ears with that God awful singing they constantly drone. No wonder Jesus doesn't care if they smile.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

Not to mention the highlight of the entire religion, where they make a big pilgrimage to their very holiest site in order to trample each other to death.

[BaronOB]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

(Unlike the Holy Bible, The True Word Of God, the koran has explicit and strict prohibitions against suicide.) .

I suggest you will read firstly some information about "The True Word Of God, the Koran".

http://www.letusreason.org/islam12.htm

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Quran/quran.htm

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

Not to mention the highlight of the entire religion, where they make a big pilgrimage to their very holiest site in order to trample each other to death.

Maybe we should sponsor more pilgrimages?

[Gabriel Reproba]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

I suggest you will read firstly some information about "The True Word Of God, the Koran".

http://www.letusreason.org/islam12.htm

http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/Quran/quran.htm

I read the first link until I got to " As Christians we do not practice the Old Testament but the teachings of the New Testament, by Christ and the apostles. so any arguments to try and castigate Christians for doing the same fail miserably."

After I stopped laughing (The thought of these "Christians" saying that the Ten Commandments" don't count any more since they are only in the OT, is hilarious!) I switched to the second link. I stopped reading after I got to:

""Suicide bomber" is a derogatory term invented in the West to try and describe what in Islam is known as a Fedayeen or Shahid... a martyr. The point of the bomber isn't suicide. It is to kill infidels in battle. This is not just permitted by Muhammad, but encouraged with liberal promises of heavenly reward, including food and sex."

Why is the internet filled with poeple pretending to be religious when they really aren't?

[BaronOB]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

I do not want to start a big discussion about Islam, nevertheless I dare to say that I do not believe in "peaceful" or "moderate" Muslims because they are enemy of Christians who killed us while the last 1400 years.

[Rebuko the Clown]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

Depressed people WITHOUT God is a very very dangerous combo! Because I know first hand.

Some years back I was in one of those bad depression states and I tried getting out of it by drinking myself to sleep as much as i could but it wouldnt stop the pain. I realized how pathetic my life was. Here I am a 35 year old man never married, have some kids but dont know who they are or where they are, living out of my car and shelters, broke except for the ocassional clown gig, overweight, blazing hemmorhoids that wont go away, having a couple warrents out for my arrest, a car that keeps breaking down, hardly eating, going through smoking withdraws and believe me my LIFE WAS BAD.

I had a job at like noon for some kids party. By the time i left for the house i already drank an entire bottle of generic store brand vodka and i wanted to just end it all. I wanted to make something out of my suicide, so I took a few gas cans and put it in my car. I was thinking of setting myself on fire at the party or something.

Im coming down the street and I see the house and theres like a dozen kids in the yard playing. And i see this big old elm tree with a thick trunk. Then i got this idea. Instead of just setting fire to myself, what if i zoomed down the street at 70 mph and slammed head onto the tree with the gas cans inside. It would cause an explosion and kill everyone there.

You dont know how close I was to actually doing it!!! I started speeding up but when i was almost at the point of no return i slammed on the brakes and twisted the wheel.

THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME WAS KNOWING I WAS GOING TO GO TO HELL FOR KILLING THE KIDS. I knew God would be angry with me and subject me to torture forever. I didnt care about them, because there not my problem, but I know I didnt want to end up in Hell. So my faith in God saved me.

That is my testimoney. Praise the Lord Jesus for keeping me from sinning.

[DasDragon]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

you are all going to hell for racism b.a.s.t.a.r.d.s

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

you are all going to hell for racism b.a.s.t.a.r.d.s

Where in the Holy Bible does it mention racism is not allowed?

[DasDragon]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

who cares if something is mentioned in the bible, i probs isnt in the bible but does it seem right to hate something with different beliefs.

THE BIBLE IS A BOOK...... A BOOK WRITTEN BY A MAN...... MEN MAKE MISTAKES....... MISTAKES MEAN SOMETHING IS WRONG

untill i see a glowing book fall from heaven and read it i couldnt give a damn about the suppose rules in the bible. all i know is what is the right thing to do. i believe in GOD and he is the devine creator but even if he told me to do something i didnt feel is right id defy it.

I AM REPULSED BY YOUR WAY OF THINKING WOULD YOU KILL TO PROVE A STATEMENT IN THE BIBLE???

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Proof: Muslims Believe In Islam Only Because They Are Depress

who cares if something is mentioned in the bible, i probs isnt in the bible but does it seem right to hate something with different beliefs.

THE BIBLE IS A BOOK...... A BOOK WRITTEN BY A MAN...... MEN MAKE MISTAKES....... MISTAKES MEAN SOMETHING IS WRONG

What, like the mistake in your post? Here, I'll fix it for you:
THE BIBLE IS A BOOK...... A BOOK WRITTEN BY GOD...... GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES

all i know is what is the right thing to do.

No you don't.

i believe in GOD and he is the devine creator

What evidence do you have for God being the divine creator? It's perfectly logical for us to believe in God, because we have evidence for it (i.e., the Bible). Why would you believe in God if you reject the evidence that he exists?

but even if he told me to do something i didnt feel is right id defy it.

I AM REPULSED BY YOUR WAY OF THINKING WOULD YOU KILL TO PROVE A STATEMENT IN THE BIBLE???

You're going to Hell. Yes, obviously we would. Being an idiot who's never read the Bible, I don't suppose you're familiar with the story of Abraham and Isaac?