[Godfly]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

So you admit you gave an orgasm to your wife?

Why is it you cant seem to stop this filthy talk? If you go to the help forum I'm sure you could find a Christian counselor to help cure your sexual deviance.

[Virgin93]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

Young lady, that was disgusting. Satan is causing your sweet innocent young mind to ponder vile depravities that no decent person should ever think about.

Sex is for making babies. That's all you need to know on the subject. Your husband will instruct you on what's expected once he has taken ownership on your wedding day.

Go scrub the kitchen floor now, and ponder the book of Leviticus.

I am sorry for my sinful thoughts, Sir, I confessed them to my father and he blistered my bottom for those thougts.

[True Disciple]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

I am sorry for my sinful thoughts, Sir, I confessed them to my father and he blistered my bottom for those thougts.

Your father is a good True Christian(tm).

[Virgin93]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

Your father is a good True Christian™.

Yes, Sir, he is a good True Christian, and he knows that I sometimes need a little adjustment in behaviour.

[jmlove]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

Why don't you think that God gives us pleasure? It's a wonderful thing. There is nothing wrong with beautiful sexual bliss.

He wants us to be happy and healthy. It is healthy for a body to be sexual. Even if it is protected sex that does not result in a child.

Put beautifully!
Sex, and orgasams are proven to be healthy for not only your physical health, but mental health as well.
Why wouldn't god want us to do something to better the vessel he has given peope to serve him?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

Sex, and orgasams are proven to be healthy for not only your physical health, but mental health as well. Why wouldn't god want us to do something to better the vessel he has given peope to serve him?

Many sins are fun, Satan designed them that way. Lust is fun, pride is fun, vainglory is fun. Satan made sure sinning is fun to get as many people to hell as possible. It is why he invented orgasms: to make women seduce men into sin. And every sin can be punished by death: Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death". This is why we True Christians never sin.

And you are talking about physical health and mental health but you are leaving the most important one out. The health of your eternal soul! Do you really want to burn in hell for all eternity just to have an orgasm?

Hell is a nasty place. It's better to cut off your hand to prevent sinful masturbation than to go to hell! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched".

[jmlove]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

Many sins are fun, Satan designed them that way. Lust is fun, pride is fun, vainglory is fun. Satan made sure sinning is fun to get as many people to hell as possible. It is why he invented orgasms: to make women seduce men into sin. And every sin can be punished by death: Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death". This is why we True Christians never sin.

And you are talking about physical health and mental health but you are leaving the most important one out. The health of your eternal soul! Do you really want to burn in hell for all eternity just to have an orgasm?

Hell is a nasty place. It's better to cut off your hand to prevent sinful masturbation than to go to hell! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched".

If satan wants to seduce us, but he is bad for us, why would he tempt us to do things that are good for us ?
I understand he tempts with drugs and such, because they are harmful,
but orgasams are good.
And why are men allowed to have orgasams to make a child?
When a woman orgasams, she is 75% more likely to get pregnant?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

but orgasams are good. And why are men allowed to have orgasams to make a child? When a woman orgasams, she is 75% more likely to get pregnant?

The man has no choice, so he will have to suffer an orgasm. It's the women who do not need an orgasm.

Orgasms make women scream and this clearly is against God's rules: 1 Timothy 2:11-12 "Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

Women should serve their husbands, bear children and bake pies. Orgasms are not on their to do list.

[Girl For God]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

I felt those feelings ONCE! Then I smashed my thumb with a meat tenderizer and they have never returned. Praise Jesus!!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

I felt those feelings ONCE! Then I smashed my thumb with a meat tenderizer and the have never returned. Praise Jesus!!

You have the right mentality! Mark 9:43 "And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched"

[Godfly]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

I felt those feelings ONCE! Then I smashed my thumb with a meat tenderizer and they have never returned. Praise Jesus!!

A meat tenderizer is not as good as an axe or sharp knife, but you have the right idea.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

CAUTION! CAUTION!

Another warning for women!

If are aroused while you are asleep or dreaming that you are experiencing pleasure with someone even GODLY like Kirk Cameron, you are being attacked by Satan himself or a INCUBUS demon who will suck your soul out through your hoo haa!

They will stop at nothing to condemn you to HELL (particularly if you are very attractive (like me or Mrs. Rogers)). They want to enjoy you as a sexual plaything in HELL for all eternity.

If you feel yourself starting to be aroused it's okay to hit your privates with a KJV1611 Bible to chase the demons away or maybe throw yourself down the stairs or stick your hand in extremely hot water. Anything to get you out of an aroused state.

YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO HELL DO YOU?

[Nurse Clampett]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

Praise Baby Jesus that years of experimenting on homers with radiation and various vile chemicals have killed just about every satanic hormone in my body. Sure I have no eyebrows, yet can grow a mustache to rival Pancho Villa, BUT I DO NOT LUST!
Any woman who would want to shake about from a devil-gasm is a filthy whore anyway.

[Brother Wilfred Ernest]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

I simply cannot believe what I am reading. I asked my lovely bride if she has EVER had an orgasmo while we had relations and she was quick to point out "NO". Praise be to God for that good news.

So we asked a few of the other Church ladies the same question, and only one said had once experienced such feelings, but it was during an unclean moment in which she touched herself, in which she was beaten but her husband and a fine paid to the Church. Satan provides these feelings in women being unclean. During wholesome relations, in all of the pastors wives I have spoken to, these orgasmos do not happen.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Only SATAN Gives Women Orgasms!!!

If you feel yourself starting to be aroused it's okay to hit your privates with a KJV1611 Bible to chase the demons away or maybe throw yourself down the stairs or stick your hand in extremely hot water.

Hitting yourself on your head with your KJV1611 Holy Bible might also help.