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  • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

    Originally posted by cabrin View Post
    I'm pretty sure you'd be filming so you could get some instant replay for your own self-serve later.
    What kind of sick individual are you to think of THAT!

    You need Jesus in you life.

    Proverbs 21:27

    The sacrifice of the wicked is abomination: how much more, when he bringeth it with a wicked mind?


    YIC

    Jack
    Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

    sigpic

    I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

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    • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

      Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
      If I ever caught one of my boys masturbating with the goal to spurt the thick seed of Gods love all over himself, After I finished filming (to retain evidence of the deed to show the Pastor) I'd place the child's hands in the pot of oil we use to deep fry a turkey.
      Originally posted by cabrin View Post
      I'm pretty sure you'd be filming so you could get some instant replay for your own self-serve later.
      Did you even bother to read his post before spewing out all that hatred? He said that he would be turning the video over to me!
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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      • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

        Jacking off is natural, I love it. I'm a young lesbian, and I can't figure out better ay to relieve the stress. You should try it, and wipe your ridiculous words off.
        Leviticus 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.

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        • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

          Originally posted by Antichrist is here View Post
          Jacking off is natural, I love it. I'm a young lesbian, and I can't figure out better ay to relieve the stress. You should try it, and wipe your ridiculous words off.

          Isaiah 59:3
          For your hands are defiled with blood, and your fingers with iniquity; your lips have spoken lies, your tongue hath muttered perverseness.


          YIC

          Jack
          Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

          sigpic

          I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.

          Comment


          • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

            Originally posted by Antichrist is here View Post
            Jacking off is natural, I love it. I'm a young lesbian, and I can't figure out better ay to relieve the stress. You should try it, and wipe your ridiculous words off.
            Why are you so keen to tell us you are a disgusting pervert? Are you trying to shock us? Let me tell you, young lady, that even if you went into the most obscene detail of every single bean flick you cannot disgust us any more than you already are doing. We have dealt with many of your kind.

            Jesus drew you here for a reason. You know deep inside that your sexual perversion is an abomination or why are you even here? It's difficult, I know, to admit you are wrong and that everything you have been told is a lie but the people who have told you that all the things you are doing that God hates are natural have no regard for your soul. They just want to use you like a doll for their own gratification.

            The good news is that it's not too late. We have many ex-gays among our brethren who are more than capable of listening to your every misdemeanour and counselling the gay away.

            Gayness is a choice and once you have renounced this sin and accepted Jesus into your soul you will know peace from the inner torment that drives you to debase yourself in this way on the interwebs.
            sigpic
            Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

            John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

            Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
            The truth about volcanos
            Sex and debauchery in public schools
            Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
            God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
            Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

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            • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

              HAHA! to the maker of the thread: You sir are a piffleing crazy devout dipshit.
              To be friggen honest, I watch porn, I masturbate, I play video games. What now? gonna tell me to repent? ask for forgiveness? BITCH PLEASE. Hey to all the people still living in the 1st century, masturbation is VERY normal, it relieves stress, and the desire. What now? beat me up?
              Last edited by Levi Jones; 05-18-2012, 05:49 AM. Reason: filth partially cleaned.

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              • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                Originally posted by Seven7r View Post
                HAHA! to the maker of the thread: You sir are a piffleing crazy devout dipshit.
                To be friggen honest, I watch porn, I masturbate, I play video games. What now? gonna tell me to repent? ask for forgiveness? BITCH PLEASE. Hey to all the people still living in the 1st century, masturbation is VERY normal, it relieves stress, and the desire. What now? beat me up?
                Maybe you are reluctant to refer to the Bible (KJV1611), but surely you have someone to quote that advocates the purpose of life is to continually wank yourself silly until it's all over.

                The real fun begins when we finally get to Heaven to celebrate with Jesus. Nancy Pelosi was right, we have to pass the "Bill" to find out what is in it.
                Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                ...and get off my lawn
                sigpic

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                • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                  There's only 1 reasonable solution to such a disgusting crime against god. Off with his penis! Yes, cut his penis off and stitch it up. Then there's nothing he can do.

                  Comment


                  • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                    Originally posted by TheHoly View Post
                    There's only 1 reasonable solution to such a disgusting crime against god. Off with his penis! Yes, cut his penis off and stitch it up. Then there's nothing he can do.
                    Son, your prescription strikes me as rather cruel and sadistic. God was much more merciful to Onan than that.
                    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                    ...and get off my lawn
                    sigpic

                    Comment


                    • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                      Originally posted by Seven7r View Post
                      HAHA! to the maker of the thread: You sir are a piffleing crazy devout dipshit.
                      To be friggen honest, I watch porn, I masturbate, I play video games. What now? gonna tell me to repent? ask for forgiveness? BITCH PLEASE. Hey to all the people still living in the 1st century, masturbation is VERY normal, it relieves stress, and the desire. What now? beat me up?
                      If what you say is true, why is the world in such a mess?

                      Comment


                      • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                        Masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy activity. Try knocking before you enter your son's room and respecting his privacy.

                        Comment


                        • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                          Originally posted by Fleur-de-lis View Post
                          Masturbation is a perfectly normal and healthy activity. Try knocking before you enter your son's room and respecting his privacy.
                          The tramp admits to yet ANOTHER perversion. Why am I not surprised? How many times have you abused your lady place today? Three? Four? Five times?

                          The thought of a lesbian like your rubbing herself "down there" makes me want to lock myself in my prayer closet for an hour! Shame on you!
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                          Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



                          God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



                          Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!

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                          • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                            PEOPLE PEOPLE PLEASE, IF THE KJV BIBLE STATES IT'S MORALLY WRONG, THEN IT IS!
                            Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 05-19-2012, 01:30 AM. Reason: Formatting

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                            • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                              I used to masturbate as part of my depraved interest in the occult. This was of course before Pastor Ezekiel saved my soul, made a few phone calls, and got me out of prison. When I would masturbate it was with the intention of hurting Jesus. The knowledge that I was causing the scourge to rip extra flesh from Christ's already gaunt form frequently increased my sensation to increase until white hot semen would ejaculate from my intumescent member, onto a mental image of His Holy Face. Now I acknowledge that these are the practices of an unsaved mind, one who has not seen the light of Christ and received the Good News into his heart, in a spirit of repentance. All unsaved people think that sort of thing whilst molesting themselves in sadistic abandon.

                              If I ever met the old me on the streets, I would cut off both of his hands, to save Jesus the temporary agony he went through to guilt me.
                              The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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                              • Re: Caught my son masturbating, what should I do?

                                Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
                                I used to masturbate as part of my depraved interest in the occult. This was of course before Pastor Ezekiel saved my soul, made a few phone calls, and got me out of prison. When I would masturbate it was with the intention of hurting Jesus. The knowledge that I was causing the scourge to rip extra flesh from Christ's already gaunt form frequently increased my sensation to increase until white hot semen would ejaculate from my intumescent member, onto a mental image of His Holy Face. Now I acknowledge that these are the practices of an unsaved mind, one who has not seen the light of Christ and received the Good News into his heart, in a spirit of repentance. All unsaved people think that sort of thing whilst molesting themselves in sadistic abandon.

                                If I ever met the old me on the streets, I would cut off both of his hands, to save Jesus the temporary agony he went through to guilt me.
                                Shout GLORY!! Jesus is so proud of you!
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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