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I bought you this for your birthday. I hope you use it.
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
May the Lord keep and bless you for yet another year of your near-anchorite existence. Your prayers for us all are doing so much good in the world.sigpic
Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs. -
Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
We're still here, it's tough but the eternity in the presence of Jesus is worth it!
Revelation 22:17
And the Spirit and the bride say, Come. And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.
May you meet Jesus our LORD very very soon!
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:- Hitler is Alive!
- Hitler - the First man on the Moon!
- Hitler was maybe a Nazi!
- Hitler and the English Royal Family!
- Vladimir Putin is immortal! Perhaps Hitler is, too?
- Paris Hilton for President and the Hitler connection!
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
A Blessed Birthday to a lady who sure doesdemandget a lot of attention.Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
I've got you a lovely Acer palmatum dissectum which I'll send ’round with the Church newsletter. It's a dwarf variant. Very appealing foliage and as you can see it comes with a good sized bowl. Hope you are keeping well (I've used a larger typeface this year so we don't have a repeat of our earlier misunderstanding).
I won't insult you by suggesting any beauty care products. There's not much point really is there.
Mitza.Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Happy Birthday!And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Happy birthday, little buttercup!
You are living proof that God does not care what the secular 'doctors' call cholesterol is.
Best meal of my life was those home fries, pound of bacon, rib eye steak six over easy eggs all cooked with lard in the same skillet by you last visit.
My kids were thrilled telling you jokes, watching you laugh so hard you 'passed the wind of the saints' as you call it.
My wife, Mrs. Hutchins made you a cake:
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
It's the inner beauty that matters not the outer appearance. Jesus loves you no matter how you look like
Happy birthday Sister Victory OS! Let's praise Jesus together! COME, LORD JESUS!Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. -- 1 Peter 3:3-4
Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Happy Birthday, dearest Sister in Christ. I think people are very rude to comment on your slightly ungainly personal appearance and would not dream of even mentioning it myself.
I wish you a most Blessed day and look forward to praising Jesus with you in Heaven very soon.Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Sister Joanna, I'm not sure I'm following you. Who is being rude to me? Surely no one within the Church. Let me know and they get a firm tongue-lashing from me, make no mistake about that.Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Thank you all for the wonderful gifts! The pies and cakes were all delicious and moist! If only everyday could be my birthday, but that would do a number on my figure.
Praise Jesus for this wonderful day!Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
My dearest Sister, please forgive me for wishing you a very happy birthday so late, but this morning I've knelt down for prayer, and I was praying and praying and I just forgot about the passing time!
Here is your birthday cake:
Don't eat all of it at once, though. Leave half of it for another snack within an hour or so.
God created fossils to test our faith.
* * *
My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Happy Birthday to you, sister. Don't forget to send in your generous birthday tithe. And keep praying to ask Jesus to take away that diabetes.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Happy Birthday! I sent you my peach pie that you once mentioned that you really liked! Hope it has arrived!"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1Comment
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Re: Happy Birthday Victory OS
Victory OS, I sure hope you got those pallets of cartons of cigarettes I sent you. If any revenuers come sniffing around, make sure you don't let them know they came from across state lines, OK?
Oh, and there's another belated surprise in store for you, but you have to be patient:
When me and Miss Cookie get into town, she has promised me she's going to serve you a slice of her pie. Boy, I can't wait to watch you dig in.WARNING:
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REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
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