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  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10275
    #1

    Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

    Happy Birthday, Brother, in your missionary post of permanent snow and ice.



    Sweet Jesus our Lord is everywhere, also by your side among the Eskimos and glaciers!

    Job 38:29
    Out of whose womb came the ice? and the hoary frost of heaven, who hath gendered it?




    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
    Tags: None
    • Alvin Moss
      Serving Jesus
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2013
      • 4468
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

      The land of the ice and snow is a dangerous place to witness. I would send you a nice recoilless rifle for self protection, but your mailing address is lacking detail.
      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

        Comment

        • Basilissa
          South of the Border outreach program
          True Christian™
           
          • Mar 2013
          • 12993
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

          Have a very happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse. I hope you enjoy that modest birthday cake I've sent you:



          It's white to symbolize the eternal ice of Greenland where you live (or do you live on some other Canadian island? I forgot, it's all the same anyway, just snow and nothing else).
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
           Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

            Comment

            • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
              True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
               
              • Jul 2014
              • 8418
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

              Warmest birthday wishes, Brother. My daughter hopes you enjoy the white chocolate penguin cake she made.



              She says there is no need to share it with the penguins.
              Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                Comment

                • Jim Farmer
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2014
                  • 2293
                  #5
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

                  I hope you received the bag of coal I sent you. It should be enough to keep you warm for a couple of hours.
                  sigpic

                    Comment

                    • Mary Etheldreda
                      Gushing for Jesus
                       
                      • Sep 2011
                      • 23775
                      #6
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

                      Happy Birthday!
                      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                        Comment

                        • Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
                          Forum Member
                          Forum Member
                          • Jun 2014
                          • 1330
                          #7
                          Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

                          Happy Birthday!
                          "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1

                            Comment

                            • James Hutchins
                              True Christian™
                              Just a Regular Nice Guy
                               
                              • Jun 2009
                              • 29453
                              #8
                              Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

                              Happy birthday, young fella!

                              While I know you you have many years of toiling for Jesus left to go unless you are suddenly called to His side (I'll pray for you), I trust you will fill all your days on your knees prostrate for His Love.
                              Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                              Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                              Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                              Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                              Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                              Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                                Comment

                                • Ezekiel Bathfire
                                  Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                                  Christ's Rottweiler
                                   
                                  • Jan 2008
                                  • 22898
                                  #9
                                  Re: Happy Birthday, Brother Alphonse!

                                  Happy Birthday: I've sent you this:



                                  I hope you find it as inspiring as I do - I could stare at it for hours.
                                  sigpic


                                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                                    Comment

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