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  • Titus Templeton
    Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade
    Jesus macht frei
    True Christian™
    • Aug 2010
    • 5912

    #1

    Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?

    I just ask because some idiot on the internet said that money from Saudi Arabia was going into the hands of some members of the Church. How stupid are some of these internet trolls?

    I mean this is a next level of stupiditiy thinking a Bible believing, True Christian(tm) community would have members taking money from muslims...
    -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
    -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
    -Holocaust Jokes
    -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
    -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
    -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
    -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
    -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!
  • Faith_Machine
    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Mar 2011
    • 10049

    #2
    Re: Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?

    I believe the church was receiving a consulting fee for helping the Saudis with their oil exploration in Yellowstone National Park, but there's nothing wrong with
    that, is there?
    WARNING:
    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

    Comment

    • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
      True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
       
      • Jul 2014
      • 8380

      #3
      Re: Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?

      I don't think any True Christians(tm) have bank accounts in Saudi Reels (their equivalent of dollars), do they? I asked my husband and he certainly doesn't. Even though his line of business may sometimes require him to deal with undesirables, he's always careful to be paid in US$ or Swiss money. So none of our tithe money is covered in sand!
      Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

      Comment

      • Ezekiel Bathfire
        Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
        Christ's Rottweiler
         
        • Jan 2008
        • 22855

        #4
        Re: Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?

        Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
        Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?
        Well, Christians are encouraged to trade with the world and our goods are trustworthy, honest, well-made and blessed as each leaves the factory. Our Services, like or church services are to the Glory of God, and the transfer of capital through various shell-companies is for security and to avoid the rust and moths as mentioned in Matthew:6:19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

        It is hard to say where a lot of Church money comes from, other than the obvious, tithes, receipts from advertising in "God /Gospel of Wealth
        Programs", public speaking fees, fund raisers, various associated charities, production and sale of items of spiritual help (Special offer on Pastor Zeke cigarette lighters with flashing LED Cross, this month - don't miss it.), endorsements by Landover, and numerous investments.

        All of theses are merely used as enablers to allow us to come more closely into contact with the purchaser and thus pass on a personal message of hope through True Faith.

        The same is true of arms sales (Up The Hill Trading (De:1:41)); the research facilities of the Landover Dominion Vivisection Laboratories (Ge:1:26); the oil trading arm (Christian Lubrications Inc. (Ne:13:12)); Real Estate (Landover Property Management (Nassau) Inc (Nu:14:7)) True Christian Governmental Consultants, etc. etc. plus other services not disclosed on a basis of "commercial in confidence."

        The answer to the original inquiry is "It is unlikely." I hope this helps.
        sigpic


        “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

        Author of such illuminating essays as,
        Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

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        • Bezukhov
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Aug 2014
          • 85

          #5
          Re: Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?

          If you want money from the Saudis I can see a friend of mine named Anthony "The Hook" Vitelli. Him and a few of his boys can talk to the Saudis, and make them an offer they can't refuse.

          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621

            #6
            Re: Has Landover Baptist Church ever received money from Saudi Arabia?

            Don't you worry about a thing. Whenever True Christians enter into business deals with the heathen Mahommedans, we make sure to let our tame Christ-Killing Jews handle all the paperwork. By the time the deal's finished, we haven't just taken the idolaters' money, our blood-sucking Jew lawyers and accountants have fleeced them dry. Praise!
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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