X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Elmer G. White
    Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
    Victim of atheist scientific persecution
     
    • Apr 2014
    • 10282

    #1

    Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

    Happy Birthday, Pastor!

    Your exceptional tolerance and guidance towards the sinner has Saved quite a few people to Jesus during the decades. Now it is soon time for you to leave this rotten Earth for Heaven (1 Thessalonians 4:17). May Jesus take you very soon and may this be your last mortal birthday!



    As for sinners...

    Psalms 83:15
    So persecute them with thy tempest, and make them afraid with thy storm.


    Yours in Christ,

    Elmer
    2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



    PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
    Check out our Research in Creation Science:
  • Segoosuoia
    Unsaved trash, admitted retarded
    • Dec 2015
    • 80

    #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

    Happy birthday. I hope it's a good one.

    Comment

    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12995

      #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

      Happy Birthday!!


      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • I Man Rastafari
        Possibly retarded pothead
        • Oct 2015
        • 1019

        #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

        Greetings and felicitations upon the occasion of your birthday Pastor Bathfire! I will enjoy another large spliff in your honor shortly. I am thinking possibly a little nap first.
        Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

          A most Blessed Birthday to a True Christian(tm) Pastor, and close, personal friend of Jesus!
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Ezekiel Bathfire
            Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
            Christ's Rottweiler
             
            • Jan 2008
            • 22908

            #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

            My thanks to all except that drug-fueled Darkie whose example is one of the path to Damnation.

            I would have replied earlier, but I have only just arrived from my prayer closet after 24 hours of prayer.

            As one gets older, one increasingly appreciates the vision of the beckoning grave and eternal rest and, whereas Death holds no terror, it is as wise to ensure that God is fully aware of one's own faithfulness.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • handmaiden
              Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
              True Christian™
              • May 2010
              • 11567

              #7
              Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

              Birthday greetings to you, dear Brother in Christ. May Jesus continue to hold you in His loving hands.








              Joyously Yours,


              Handmaiden
              His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

              Guns For God and the Economy

              Comment

              • Daisy Mae Johnson
                The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2006
                • 15708

                #8
                Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire







                sigpic

                Tweet me Here
                My GODLY Bio Here

                Comment

                • Sir Garfungle
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Nov 2016
                  • 12

                  #9
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

                  I hope God guides you on your journey of helping unsaved trash


                  Song of Solomon Eight:Ten I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

                  Comment

                  • ScienceIsTheDevil
                    Unsaved trash
                    • Dec 2016
                    • 5

                    #10
                    Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

                    Originally posted by Sir Garfungle View Post
                    I hope God guides you on your journey of helping unsaved trash


                    Song of Solomon Eight:Ten I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.

                    I hope god guides all of you racist trash pieces on this forum to a painful death

                    I honestly believe this website was created by Satan.

                    Comment

                    • Ezekiel Bathfire
                      Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                      Christ's Rottweiler
                       
                      • Jan 2008
                      • 22908

                      #11
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire

                      Originally posted by ScienceIsTheDevil View Post
                      I hope god guides all of you racist trash pieces on this forum to a painful death
                      I assume you mean the "Unsaved Trash" - yes, they can be trying, but Jesus asks us to turn the other cheek, doesn't He?
                      I honestly believe this website was created by Satan.
                      Are you having difficulty using the BB coding? It can be annoying, but I assure you that after you are dead, the ability to use our special version running under JesOS 10 will pay dividends.
                      sigpic


                      “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                      Author of such illuminating essays as,
                      Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                      Comment

                      Working...