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  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22902

    #1

    Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

    Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

    Today, the funeral service of Professor Stephen Hawking took place at the Church of Great St Mary, in Cambridge, England.

    The service was officiated by the Reverend Dr Cally Hammond, Dean of Gonville and Caius College.

    Tributes led by actor Eddie Redmayne are paid at the funeral of the visionary scientist in Cambridge.


    One reading was Ec:3:1-11

    Ec:3:1: To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
    Ec:3:2: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
    Ec:3:3: A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
    Ec:3:4: A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
    Ec:3:5: A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
    Ec:3:6: A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
    Ec:3:7: A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
    Ec:3:8: A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
    Ec:3:9: What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
    Ec:3:10: I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
    Ec:3:11: He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

    This is deeply significant of Hawking's final agreement that GOD DID EVERYTHING, AND HE HAD BEEN WASTING HIS TIME!


    The report on the funeral continues:
    A service of thanksgiving for his life will take place at Westminster Abbey in London on 15 June during which time the professor's ashes will be interred next to the grave of Sir Isaac Newton [Edit: EB - a man of deeply held Christian beliefs] who was buried there in 1727, and close to that of Charles Darwin [Edit: EB - who, on his deathbed, recanted his blasphemies and admitted that “God had designed and made everything”], who was buried in 1882.

    The Dean of Westminster, the Very Reverend Dr John Hall, said it was "entirely fitting" the professor's final resting place should be "near those of distinguished fellow scientists".
    We are expecting at any moment that there will be an announcement that Stephen Hawkings had, prior to his death, charged the batteries on his “voice machine” and recorded a recantation of all he had said against God – a long list that ended with him accepting Jesus unconditionally.

    As soon as this is released, Landover will make it publicly available.

    It is just a pity that he left it so late, otherwise God would certainly have cured his rheumatism.


    ___________________________________________


    Sometimes it takes even the most intelligent of scientists to realise that their work is nothing but a trivial mockery compared to the Works of God.

    I’m sure Jesus has a really good wheelchair available in Heaven.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
  • Basilissa
    South of the Border outreach program
    True Christian™
     
    • Mar 2013
    • 12993

    #2
    Re: Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

    Thank you Pastor Bathfire for your informative report. It is always good news to hear about the sinners who repented at their death beds. Be it scientists, be it mass murderers, every soul that repented for their lack of faith and other sins before their last breath will rejoice with us in Heaven!


    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

    Comment

    • WilliamJenningsBryan
      True Christian™
       
      • Jan 2007
      • 9384

      #3
      Re: Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

      This indeed a cause for rejoicing - I was looking for him to hire Elon Musk to fire him and his wheelchair off towards the firmament towards one of his infamous "black holes".
      Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
      brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
      ...and get off my lawn
      sigpic

      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29453

        #4
        Re: Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

        I have no doubt that 'Professor' Hawking last retarded message were pleas to Jesus not to toss the drooling bastard into the pits of Hell and the the disgustingly contorted freak begging His Magnificent Graciousness for forgiveness.

        I like to imagine a door to a stairway being opened and an Apostle shoving the 'hawkman' wheelchair down the stairs.
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Thomas Taylor
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Oct 2012
          • 1486

          #5
          Re: Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

          It will be interesting to see what his chairs' black box has to say about his flight to Hell.

          YIC
          TT
          Isaiah 66:15

          For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

          Comment

          • DolliMoans
            Confirmed Enemy of God
            BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
            • Sep 2017
            • 451

            #6
            Re: Professor Stephen Hawking: The Secret Christian!

            Yes, but it looks like one of those Anglican Church of England places full of paedophiles. It's a shame. All those years of stupid quantum "theories" and staring into black holes has made him think that renting with Catholic wannabes, was the way out.

            If he really wanted to make amends with God, he should have donated his fortune to Landover Baptist Church, and got down on his knees to apologize to Jesus publicly.

            Comment

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