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  • DolliMoans
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Sep 2017
    • 451
    #1

    Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

    Happy Birthday BROTHER WHITE!


    Hope you have the whitest B-day, in Jesus Christ's name, we Praise!
    Tags: None
    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12997
      #2
      Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

      Brother Elmer!

      I have no idea why but I have a feeling you might like this cake:


      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
       Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775
          #3
          Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

          Happy Birthday dear Brother in Christ!
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

            Comment

            • Brother Gonzalez
              Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz"
              True Christian™
               
              • Sep 2016
              • 2087
              #4
              Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

              Happy Birthday Brother Professor! It is an honour living ni the same era as you, having the oppportunity to hear and read your wisdom every day.

              Of course, it is less an honour than living in the era when Jesus will return! And this is happening soon! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
              1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

                Comment

                • Ezekiel Bathfire
                  Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                  Christ's Rottweiler
                   
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 22916
                  #5
                  Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

                  I can do little better than bringing joy by quoting Irenaeus:
                  "From the 40th and 50th year a man begins to decline towards old age, "
                  The bones of those to be resurrected are seen as an even sharper reminder of our allotted three score years and ten.

                  Death takes on a more real form, his shadow is half-seen, and, as if by way of a reminder, friends and relations are called to glory and the grave. The Words of Christ as he foretold his imminent second coming - like a thief in the night - suddenly become more relevant and understandable.

                  The constant pain and infirmities of advancing years may cause others to see you as no more than an invalid whose most basic services have failed - they may begin to regret your existence, but you have a True Friend in Jesus, and your suffering and loss of dignity shall be welcome to you as they shall provides a piquant contrast to the promise of Paradise to come.


                  Happy Birthday.
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                    Comment

                    • Jim C. Lombardo
                      Confirmed Enemy of God
                      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                      • Aug 2014
                      • 565
                      #6
                      Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

                      Happy Birthday, my esteemed Brother in Christ! May you savour your steady inching towards elderhood. It amazes me how young you are, over a decade younger than myself, yet so advanced in your path through Christdom. Often a time, I marvel, and wonder how funny it is that I look to you almost as a father figure despite being significantly my junior, which means you must be wise beyond your years.

                      Best Blessings,
                      Brother Jim

                        Comment

                        • BrotherLarry
                          Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2014
                          • 2266
                          #7
                          Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

                          There is so much I could say, but it would all sound gay, so I will just wish you a happy birthday like a man.


                          Your former student,
                          BrotherLarry
                          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                          Amen and Amen

                            Comment

                            • handmaiden
                              Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
                              True Christian™
                              • May 2010
                              • 11605
                              #8
                              Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

                              Blessed Birthday Greetings to you, Brother Doctor Professor White.

                              May He shine, shine upon you.





                              Here's a gift that you might need:
                              His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

                              Guns For God and the Economy

                                Comment

                                • Elmer G. White
                                  Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
                                  Victim of atheist scientific persecution
                                   
                                  • Apr 2014
                                  • 10288
                                  #9
                                  Re: Happy Birthday Brother Elmer G. White!

                                  Originally posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
                                  Happy Birthday Brother Professor! It is an honour living ni the same era as you, having the oppportunity to hear and read your wisdom every day.

                                  Of course, it is less an honour than living in the era when Jesus will return! And this is happening soon! PRAISE THE LORD!!!
                                  Thank you all by Brethren and Sisters in Christ! I must say that this message by Brother Gonzalez, a man of lesser breed was the one that moved me into tears in its humble sincerity and Truthfulness™. It is indeed an honor to be one among those few who will be chosen to become Jesus's posse in the very near future. We will be most honored and will probably also be able to point specific people unto Jesus for cursing.

                                  Numbers 22:17
                                  For I will promote thee unto very great honour, and I will do whatsoever thou sayest unto me: come therefore, I pray thee, curse me this people.

                                  As for me: Yesterday morning was a morning of bitter disappointment. Waking up in a bed occupied by my wife that I righteously hate (Luke 14:26) into a life that is as miserable as it should be (still Luke 14:26). I spent the day in quiet and desperate tearful prayer asking Jesus to take me. He still said "no". There are still a few souls I can win over before Jesus enters this world in His magnificence in flesh once again.


                                  Yours in Christ,

                                  Elmer
                                  2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



                                  PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
                                  Check out our Research in Creation Science:

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