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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #1

    Happy Birthday Isabella White

    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22912

    #2
    Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

    I note the following:
    1. Birthdays are strange things to celebrate. Our Lord had His on Christmas Day, but thereafter He was not known for celebrating the day at all and neither was anyone else in the Bible.
    2. There is a big fuss about children’s birthdays, and yet they have many score in front of them and thus one of them has little value.
    3. By the time one reaches a certain age, birthdays should become increasingly significant as there will be fewer left, and yet this does not seem to be the case.
    4. People trot out the formulaic “Happy Birthday” much as a meaningless ritual that is expected of them, (I am reminded of some members of the congregation) rather than any desire to see that one particular day is, in some way “happier” than others: a strange thought again, which leads to
    5. If your birthday is “happy”, surely it indicates that all other days have been miserable. This is not always so.


    I am thus a little lost for words - there perhaps should be something appropriate to say. I shall pray for guidance on the matter.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Basilissa
      South of the Border outreach program
      True Christian™
       
      • Mar 2013
      • 12997

      #3
      Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

      Happy Birthday, Beloved Sister!


      God created fossils to test our faith.

      * * *

      My favorite LBC sermons:
      True Christians are Perfect!
      True Christian™ Love.
      Salvation™ made Easy!
      You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
      Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
      Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
      Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
      Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
      The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
      Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
      God HATES Rational Thinking!
      True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

      Comment

      • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
        True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
         
        • Jul 2014
        • 8449

        #4
        Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

        Have a most blessed birthday, Sister. I pray that it is your last and that the next time I send you flowers, these will be appropriate.

        Click image for larger version

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        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

        Comment

        • Alvin Moss
          Serving Jesus
          True Christian™
          • Aug 2013
          • 4468

          #5
          Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

          Another year marked passed in waiting for Jesus. It can't be much longer and our yearning for Heaven will be met with glorious summer for all of time, in close communion with the Lord God. Next year in Heaven! Praise God, Sister!
          God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

          Comment

          • I Man Rastafari
            Possibly retarded pothead
            • Oct 2015
            • 1019

            #6
            Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

            Greetings!

            A very happy birthday to you sistren! I am just now smoking a large spliff in honor of the birthday of Mr. Trent Harvey Jr but as soon as it is used up I will have one in your honor. I have already smoked several dreamsticks with the white girls today in honor of the Reverend Dr Martin Luther King who the white people killed for his demanding of rights for the Black man. The white girls are overcome with grief but they always get like that on MLK day in my experience. We would like to go out and march but we are afraid of white nationalists coming by to abuse us so we will continue out vigil and add birthday celebrations as well.

            Jah Guide!
            Trevor
            Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

            Comment

            • BrotherLarry
              Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2014
              • 2266

              #7
              Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

              My dearest Great Granny,

              My heart is full of longing because we are separated on your special day. I hope you go to meet Jesus this year so everyone can see how generous you are when the will is read. Of course I want you around forever but I know you are homesick for Heaven. Happiest of birthdays Precious saint of God!

              Great grand baby Larry

              PS: that will is all taken care of right?
              Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
              “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

              Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
              Amen and Amen

              Comment

              • Isabella White
                True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                 
                • Mar 2019
                • 4379

                #8
                Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                My dearest Great Granny,

                My heart is full of longing because we are separated on your special day. I hope you go to meet Jesus this year so everyone can see how generous you are when the will is read. Of course I want you around forever but I know you are homesick for Heaven. Happiest of birthdays Precious saint of God!

                Great grand baby Larry

                PS: that will is all taken care of right?
                Oh, thank you so much, dearest Great-Grandbaby Brother Larry! Yes, 'tis true: this could be the year when the of s calls me home to rule and reign with him forever and ever. Can't you just see me wearing my crown in Heaven? And, don't you dare worry about a single thing -- those "for Larry" tags are still on the epergnes!


                A blessed day to you, Darling Larry,
                Lovingly, Granny Isabella
                (Mrs.) Isabella White

                Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                Comment

                • Isabella White
                  True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                   
                  • Mar 2019
                  • 4379

                  #9
                  Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                  Originally posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
                  Greetings!

                  A very happy birthday to you sistren! I am just now smoking a large spliff in honor of the birthday of Mr. Trent Harvey Jr but as soon as it is used up I will have one in your honor. I have already smoked several dreamsticks with the white girls today in honor of the Reverend Dr Martin Luther King who the white people killed for his demanding of rights for the Black man. The white girls are overcome with grief but they always get like that on MLK day in my experience. We would like to go out and march but we are afraid of white nationalists coming by to abuse us so we will continue out vigil and add birthday celebrations as well.

                  Jah Guide!
                  Trevor
                  Oh, thank you for your kind thought, Mr. Rastafari; that's very nice of you. I know that you think you mean well, but, honestly, I do pray for the day when you will admit the errors of your way and give your life to the . I hope you won't mind my saying, Dear, but I do fear that your mind might be a tad addled from all of the "wacky tabaccy" that you use. However, I shall be keeping you in my prayers, especially during the Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Tea, Social & Bible Study (held this week at Sister Lulabelle's place -- she makes the most wonderful little lemon tartlets and cranberry scones!)

                  A blessed day to you, Dear,
                  Sincerely, Isabella W.
                  (Mrs.) Isabella White

                  Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                  Comment

                  • Isabella White
                    True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                     
                    • Mar 2019
                    • 4379

                    #10
                    Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                    Thank you, all, for your kind thoughts for my birthday. I thought I had posted a message yesterday regarding this, but it seems to have vanished. Anyway, thanks again!


                    Sincerely, Isabella W.
                    (Mrs.) Isabella White

                    Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                    Comment

                    • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
                      True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
                       
                      • Jul 2014
                      • 8449

                      #11
                      Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                      Originally posted by Isabella White View Post
                      Thank you, all, for your kind thoughts for my birthday. I thought I had posted a message yesterday regarding this, but it seems to have vanished.
                      Think no more about it, Sister - if, indeed, you still remember what you were even thinking about. We have all had elderly relatives with this sort of problem - even you, though you may have forgotten them. I wonder whether, as we draw closer to Jesus's Holy Bosom, we remember only the things that we want to remember?
                      Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                      Comment

                      • Isabella White
                        True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                         
                        • Mar 2019
                        • 4379

                        #12
                        Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                        Originally posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
                        Think no more about it, Sister - if, indeed, you still remember what you were even thinking about. We have all had elderly relatives with this sort of problem - even you, though you may have forgotten them. I wonder whether, as we draw closer to Jesus's Holy Bosom, we remember only the things that we want to remember?
                        Oh, thank you so kindly, dear umm, Sister Joanna. Well, I think you might have the answer there, although I must admit that I have a feeling that at 85, "Senior's Moment" may have just as much to do with it.


                        A blessed day to you, Dear,
                        Sincerely, Isabella W.
                        (Mrs.) Isabella White

                        Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

                        Comment

                        • BrotherLarry
                          Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2014
                          • 2266

                          #13
                          Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                          Originally posted by Isabella White View Post
                          those "for Larry" tags are still on the epergnes!
                          Yes I am just - thrilled about those. Just a gentle reminder about the house and it’s contents, the four cars, and the bank accounts. Let’s not forget the life insurance sweetie. I just cannot bear the thought of your things and your money going to anyone who might not use it for God. I would be the best guardian of your legacy dear precious Great Granny.

                          I wubboo!!

                          Your favorite great grandson
                          L.
                          Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
                          “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

                          Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
                          Amen and Amen

                          Comment

                          • Isabella White
                            True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
                             
                            • Mar 2019
                            • 4379

                            #14
                            Re: Happy Birthday Isabella White

                            Originally posted by BrotherLarry View Post
                            Yes I am just - thrilled about those. Just a gentle reminder about the house and it’s contents, the four cars, and the bank accounts. Let’s not forget the life insurance sweetie. I just cannot bear the thought of your things and your money going to anyone who might not use it for God. I would be the best guardian of your legacy dear precious Great Granny.

                            I wubboo!!

                            Your favorite great grandson
                            L.
                            Now, now, dear, darling Larry: You have nothing to worry about. You will be taken care of, very handsomely. But I must let you know that a major portion of my estate is being left to Pastor Zeke's jet plane fund. Why, with his extensive evangelical ministry around the world (and who knows where the will send him next), he simply must have that new plane, and the sooner, then the better.

                            As for the cars, Agatha (my sister) has asked for Daddy's 1949 Cadillac to be left to her. She's also asked for the 1957 Continental and the 1958 De Ville for her sons. That leaves the '34 Bentley, a personal favorite of mine as it was in Wilbur's family for so many years. But, somehow or another, I cannot see you trying to get this through the narrow village streets on your way to your Christopher Street crusades. Plus, it has manual transmission which can be confusing and confounding to some; although, I am quite confident that you know a thing or two about gearbox controls.

                            A blessed day to you, dear Larry,
                            Lovingly, Great-Granny Isabella


                            (Mrs.) Isabella White

                            Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

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