[Brother Enoch]

My Dad's experience with a parking cop

My Dad and his wife were vacationing in Sarasota, Florida last week and enjoying a meal at a local restaurant.

When they came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. They went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored them and continued writing the ticket. Dad called him a Nazi turd. He glared at him and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So his wife (my stepmom) called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more they abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Finally the cop left and my Dad called a taxi, leaving the car with the Obama bumper-sticker and the tickets all over the windshield behind.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

There’s a Mexican a black and a Puerto Rican in the back seat, who's driving?
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The cop.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

O'Bummer BS Bingo

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

I am humbled by your grace brother Harold , God bless you.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Please forgive me Brother Harold. My joke was neither well thought out or suitable. I watched a Dane Cook DVD, I think his wild on the edge comedy has influenced me.

I will resort to an evening of prayer and bible reading as a cleanser to this truly embarrassing episode.

2 Kings 8:11And he settled his countenance stedfastly, until he was ashamed: and the man of God wept.

Of course I forgive you, young man. Jesus Christ commands us to do so:

Matthew 18:21-22 "Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

And welcome to God's favorite forum!

In Christ

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

My friend, this is a thread for Good, Clean Christian Jokes. Your joke was neither good, nor clean, and now you are mentioning male genitalia in a backsass to a True Christian™ Sister, a dear friend of mine.

Please remember your place as Unsaved Trash and carefully watch both your tongue and tone when addressing your betters. This includes all Forum Members, True Christians™ and Pastors.

In Christ

Please forgive me Brother Harold. My joke was neither well thought out or suitable. I watched a Dane Cook DVD, I think his wild on the edge comedy has influenced me.

I will resort to an evening of prayer and bible reading as a cleanser to this truly embarrassing episode.

2 Kings 8:11And he settled his countenance stedfastly, until he was ashamed: and the man of God wept.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

You think an atheist would have the balls to fire a gun?

Yes. 250 million dead at the hands of atheists in the last century alone.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

You think an atheist would have the balls to fire a gun?

My friend, this is a thread for Good, Clean Christian Jokes. Your joke was neither good, nor clean, and now you are mentioning male genitalia in a backsass to a True Christian™ Sister, a dear friend of mine.

Please remember your place as Unsaved Trash and carefully watch both your tongue and tone when addressing your betters. This includes all Forum Members, True Christians™ and Pastors.

In Christ

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Sounds more like something the atheist would do.

Amen, Sister.

True Christians(tm) are never violent unless they are wearing a uniform. Even then, they only ever shoot at civilians if they are on deployment, and when they do they use Godly American M-16s and F-16s, not shotguns. Shotguns are for birds.

Muslims can only operate RPGs, AK-47s, and explosives, but they will kill anyone, especially other Muslims and their own daughters.

Atheists are monkeys so they usually just fling feces, but one might get a few rounds off a shotgun with a little luck. Therefore all shotgun murderers are atheists.

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Sounds more like something the atheist would do.

You think an atheist would have the balls to fire a gun?

[Sister Kitty]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An atheist, a Christian and a Muslim are sitting in a room. The Christian pulls out a shotgun and blows their heads off.

Gets me every time

Sounds more like something the atheist would do.

[Jared Beacon]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

An atheist, a Christian and a Muslim are sitting in a room. The Christian pulls out a shotgun and blows their heads off.

Gets me every time

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Heath Ledger goes to hell.

Heath Ledger has just died, and went hell. He gets a visit from Jesus, who gives him a flat screen TV, a DVD/Blu-Ray player and a collection of what seems to be 10 000 gay porn movies on DVD and some on Blu-ray, but what he doesnt know is that Jesus put True Christian™, clean and educational heterosexual movies inside the gay porn covers, movies such as Passion of the Christ, The Left Behind-series, Jesus(1979 version), Jesus of Nazareth and The Birth of a Nation, now he realises that he will be forced to watch these movies over and over again, for all eternity. Jesus leaves him laughing hysterically while Heath Ledger screams in pain of being forced to watch good, clean and heterosexual True Christian™ movies over and over again for all eternity.
(And every time he tries to masturbate watching the pictures on one of the gay porn covers, the cover is turned into the cover of the movie that is on the disc)

That's a real knee-slapper, love it!! Heath Ledger.

[Proud Faroese]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

Heath Ledger goes to hell.

Heath Ledger has just died, and went hell. He gets a visit from Jesus, who gives him a flat screen TV, a DVD/Blu-Ray player and a collection of what seems to be 10 000 gay porn movies on DVD and some on Blu-ray, he gets very happy and thinks "wow, maybe hell isnt so bad after all, this looks awesome!", but what he doesnt know is that Jesus put True Christian™, clean and educational heterosexual movies inside the gay porn covers, movies such as Passion of the Christ, The Left Behind-series, Jesus(1979 version), Jesus of Nazareth and The Birth of a Nation, now he realises that he will be forced to watch these movies over and over again, for all eternity. Jesus leaves him laughing hysterically while Heath Ledger screams in pain of being forced to watch good, clean and heterosexual True Christian™ movies over and over again for all eternity.
(And every time he tries to masturbate watching the pictures on one of the gay porn covers, the cover is turned into the cover of the movie that is on the disc)

[Proud Faroese]

Re: Good, Clean Christian Jokes

This is Christian humour as it will offend all those silly vegans and environmentalists who refuses to kill, skin and eat animals even if The Bible says so