[WickedWitch]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Oh! Oh! I have a question for the Dear Father Mo!


Dear Father,
Did you miss me?

Your Pagan (and therefore nearly-Catholic) Friend,
Alie

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Oh! Oh! I have a question for the Dear Father Mo!


Dear Father,
Did you miss me?

Your Pagan (and therefore nearly-Catholic) Friend,
Alie

I have a question as well. Is this thread called "a thread all about Allllie?"

If not, can anyone suggest why that be?

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Oh! Oh! I have a question for the Dear Father Mo!


Dear Father,
Did you miss me?

Your Pagan (and therefore nearly-Catholic) Friend,
Alie

How nice to see you Alie, as you know I am always ready to help minister to you and your troubling Pagan ways. Regardless of your endless penchant for ritualistic orgies I still think we can help get you into the fold of Jesus.

As a true Christian I am happy to be forgiving of your many debaucheries and look forward to the day I see you taking Holy Communion as a bona-fide Catholic.



Bless you, my town mattress,
Father Mo



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[Remy Lebeau]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Happy to be of help so let us start helping you by letting you know that both the dictionary and colloquial definitions of "a couple" is the number two. That being so nicely said I shall answer all five of your questions. (Five is three more than two which is one less than three... are you still with me?)

Why are YOU talking to ME about the word "couple"? Look at my photo. See that woman next to me? That is my wife. So allow me to start off by helping YOU by letting YOU know that both God and god fearing society define "a couple" as a MAN AND A WOMAN. That being so nicely said I shall inform YOU that a man and a prepubescent boy does not constitute a couple. (Only God ordained, completely natural, baby making, the human race goes extinct without them kind of couples... are you still with me?)

I cannot lie to you so the answer is a sad yes. It was a truly horrible situation for the young man involved

The fully developed tallywhacker of a human male was never intended to be inserted into the feces lines rectum of another male. Next to the AIDS, rectal disembowelment is the second largest killer of male homersexural "catchers". The death toll rises even more when a grown man buggers a young boy and yet your anti-Christ pope is fully complacent with the overwhelming amount of pedophilia that is commonplace within your cult. That makes you a cult of murderers.

If you mean "how long between postings" it varies considerably.

Forgive me. I'm not familiar with catlick sodomy slang. So you call it "posting"?

Some Priests spend decades and even their entire lives at the same Parish... some move around more often to help spread the load so to speak. There is so much of The Lord's work still to be done in this world.

You disgust me, papist. The loads of male seed you wish to spread into the rectums of the children of Earth is NOT the Lord's work. You are sick!

None I would think. His Holiness gets his shoes for free... they are love offerings and cost the Church nothing.

Pretty hypocritical considering that old turd told all his victims to not flaunt their wealth by wearing expensive clothes and driving expensive cars.


Your anti-Christ pope wears Segrengeti and Gucci sunglasses, owns Prada loafers, listens to a specially engraved Apple Ipod and drives a Mercedes. The nazi Ratzitler has favored his tailor from his days as cardinal, Alessandro Cattaneo, and a 20-year-old pagan fashion house of Raniero Mancinelli, which has provided your pope with the queerist of vestments, some with shimmering, sequin like details.


Any man who is into fashion is a queer. Your pope is a queer who is dating to other like-minded queers. I guess when you get as old and decrepit as your anti-Christ 20 year olds become the new 5 year old.


Odd you should ask a question like this knowing how much BTB's silicon silos cost and weren't they funded by several of your Pastors?

Daisy's breasts are 100% grade A natural. They are smooth, soft and have just right ratio of squishiness vs firmness. They are not rock hard boulders, but jiggle quite naturally. Her nipples are perfection. They are like big buttons ready to be pushed. So shut your mouth, pedo.

Neither. The Pope knows full well his role as earthly Vicar. If he were to get any wrong ideas God would tell him during one of their communications.

So now you're claiming God is slow and took hundreds of years to finally set the current pope straight? That would be blasphemous. Or is it that the past popes, the ones who your current pope disagrees with on some subjects, were liars? So when Ratzitface dies I assume we'll find out he's a liar too, right?

I suggest you do some reading up on Catholicism

I have no interest in reading up on roman paganism, divine feminine worship or your pantheon of minor false gods you call saints.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

I have some new questions that have been asked of me here in my capacity of Vatican insider to the 'John Deere in the headlights of common sense' crowd. Of the many inquiries I have received the following is one of the most disturbing and needs my immediate attention.



Dear Father Mo,

I was raised a Landrover Baptwit and my parents are still active in the Church community even though they only pretend to get along and actually fight all of the time and hate each other. Because I know they are sinners (both have been caught red-handed by me having affairs with Pastor XXXX*) and hypocrites I find myself confused about religion and more and more interested in the Goth life-style.

I notice that you catlick priests dress in black and hang out with women who live with women only called Nuns and they often dress in black as well. I saw a tv show on church building in Europe and it seems that you catlicks are responsible for the Goth style and that got me thinking. Is it possible I am becoming a catlick accidentally by watching teen vampire movies, listening to emo bands, fantasising about murder and wearing black?

If I am becoming a catlick after my sixteenth birthday can I still get money for saying I was touched by a catlick priest and if so how much?

I need the money so I can buy a shotgun and blast holes in my parents one day and maybe Pastor XXXX* too, who they are always having over for the week-end... sometimes the three of them keep me up all night with their speaking in voices and shouts of glory to the lord. I hate them, myself and probably you even though we've never met.

Please help me as I have no-one to turn to since Youth Pastor Marty got arrested again.

Signed,
(Name withheld for legal reasons)






Dear Troubled Teen,

I must say that for someone from Iowa you have a surprisingly good command of written English, especially someone who is broken-home schooled and likely learned to read by looking at ancient copies of Rod and Reel while riding the back of the family turnip truck to and from swine barns each day... this has me a little suspicious but as a loving servant of Jesus I will take you at your word.

If there is one thing we Catholics have learned over the two thousand years we have been in charge of Christianity it is that violence is never a solution to one's problems. I realise that in America it is almost expected that at least one teenager in every suburb goes on a shooting spree but this violates the laws of our Heavenly Father and you must banish such thoughts from your mind.

Firstly, as Jesus commands us, we must honour our Father and especially honour our Mother regardless of who is on her. We are all sinners and clearly your parents have fallen towards a type of sexual debauchery often ascribed to Hollywood perverts but this does not justify you shooting them.

I think it best of have an honest and open discussion with them regarding their deviant sexual activities. Make certain to prepare in advance for this discussion and that means a little homework. Perhaps you should start by surreptitiously video-recording one or two of these sleep-overs with Pastor XXXX* (make a back-up and send it to me just to be safe). Then, keep a diary of every time one, the other or both are playing hide the bratwurst with Pastor XXXX*... again you can forward me your notes for safe-keeping.

Once you have a few hours of well lit and nicely framed video you can sit down with them and talk about that fancy car and hip wardrobe you want. I promise you that they will have a new respect for you as an emerging young adult in addition to giving you a nice shiny credit card. All of this and nobody gets shot or goes to prison as well as the benefits of the inevitable ensuing adult bonding.

By following my simple plan you won't need to lie about being 'touched by a Priest' (an unlikely statistical event to start with) or have to concern yourself with dressing in dyed black potato sacks like the other Goth wannabes in your part of "Kentucky on the Prairies".

If you can manage this bit of business with some alacrity I highly recommend you arrange to visit from one of our many fine Churches from coast to coast on every inhabited continent. Tell them Father Mo sent you and that you would like to make a confession. Done right you can drive away well dressed and forgiven of sins... are you starting to see the beauty of doing things the Catholic way?



Bless you, my future assistant,
Father Mo








*Rhymes with Geek



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[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Hi Mr Father, it me Sista Vavoline. But I ain't one of dem sista in da black hoodie thing they be wearing. DeWayne was scared of dem ladies. But anyways, we be raise Catlick but had to turn to baptism when Ole Sam hit every catlick church in Iowa for da communion wine. He be dead now. Is you givin out free miricle water too? We got da powerball at 200 million and jist in case, I would like extra prayers to win. I ain't gonna give you people nothin cause you catlick. Thank you.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Hi Mr Father, it me Sista Vavoline. But I ain't one of dem sista in da black hoodie thing they be wearing. DeWayne was scared of dem ladies. But anyways, we be raise Catlick but had to turn to baptism when Ole Sam hit every catlick church in Iowa for da communion wine. He be dead now. Is you givin out free miricle water too? We got da powerball at 200 million and jist in case, I would like extra prayers to win. I ain't gonna give you people nothin cause you catlick. Thank you.

Dear Vulvamean,

I am not sure where the question is in your post. No doubt you are trying your best with limited social and intellectual means but you could help raise yourself beyond the Babtwit ignorance that oppresses you by simply returning to your... uh... roots and come back to the Catholic Church.

One of the many beautiful things about Catholicism is the forgiving nature that allows everyone to qualify for heaven with as little as a quick prayer on your deathbed!

Remember that unless you have been officially excommunicated (that is a big word for getting kicked out) you have never really left the Church!

So don't be shy to drop by for some bingo and a visit with a few other ladies like yourself... before you know it you'll be back in the old Catholic saddle and as good as new again spiritually speaking.



Bless you, my rotund language butcher,
Father Mo



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[godsdrummer]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Woah!! Hey now, buddy! What gives YOU the right to come up in here, unannounced and start putting someones bussiness up every where? What gives you the right to post something like that on our forum, don't y'all Catholics have somewhere else you can ask questions and stuff? Honestly, I don't care what your answer to anything, and I'm 100% no one else wants to hear it either.

Pastors I'm sorry for the disrespect, but I don't think he has the right to flaunt that letter that a poor misguided person wrote to him, and then have the recipiant of the letter act as if he were some kind of retarted idiot.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Dear Father Mo,

I know we've had our differences on this board because of me being an exemplary servant of Christ and you being a hellbound heretic, but I'd like to put that aside for a second and ask you a honest question.

It has been said that the Vatican Library has the world's largest collection of pornography. Is this true? Have you seen inside? What kind of disgusting, deviant porn is in there? Can you elaborate in detail?

Thanks,

Rev. Jim Osborne

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Dear Father Mo,

I know we've had our differences on this board because of me being an exemplary servant of Christ and you being a hellbound heretic, but I'd like to put that aside for a second and ask you a honest question.

It has been said that the Vatican Library has the world's largest collection of pornography. Is this true? Have you seen inside? What kind of disgusting, deviant porn is in there? Can you elaborate in detail?

Thanks,

Rev. Jim Osborne

Dear Reverend Dim,

One man's pornography is another man's erotic masterpiece. Take for example the statue of David in Florence. Michelangelo's brilliant marble interpretation of King David is naked and as such this wonderful example of Renaissance stone-work is possibly offensive to some folks even though it is clearly a work of genius inspired by God.

Is it pornography? I do not think so.

In the course of two thousand years of collecting and cataloging works of art there are bound to be many that are less than suitable for certain situations and places. Fortunately we have a vast Museum and even larger storage area that allows us to keep from public view a few of the more controversial pieces in our estimable collection.

If you find yourself in Roma just give me a ring and we can arrange for you to decide for yourself how much of our collection falls into categories that preclude public showing. My personal assistant Sister Delicia will be happy to show you around and arrange access to the more controversial works we do not exhibit. You will need to sign a standard NDA and no cameras and or recording devices are allowed in. Knowing what I do about Baptwit preachers I will check to see if the Maplethorpe collection has been thoroughly wiped clean.



Bless you, my Velvet Elvis,
Father Mo




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[Wide-Open]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

by simply returning to your... uh... roots

Oh darn... listen you papist chretien: Kunta Kinte has NO place on this forum OK! Not on my watch. He reminds me of Obama.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Well, I would argue that the statue of David is pornography. Michelangelo was a well-known sodomite and he commited many abominable crimes against nature with the young boy he chose to be the model for his sculpture. There is no reason for King David to be portrayed as nude, except of course for the fact that Michelangelo created it as a homoerotic symbol meant to appeal to the sodomite tendencies of all the Catholic priests, bishops, cardinals, and popes in Rome.

Now, a visit to the Vatican Secret Archives would be very interesting. I would like to see for myself what kind of vile pornography the Whore of Babylon has hidden in her bedroom. I understand the no-camera policy and all the red-tape.

Does the Vatican Library have private areas where a scholar can go into alone and research works? Maybe a small booth or something?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Woah!! Hey now, buddy! What gives YOU the right to come up in here, unannounced and start putting someones bussiness up every where? What gives you the right to post something like that on our forum, don't y'all Catholics have somewhere else you can ask questions and stuff? Honestly, I don't care what your answer to anything, and I'm 100% no one else wants to hear it either.

Pastors I'm sorry for the disrespect, but I don't think he has the right to flaunt that letter that a poor misguided person wrote to him, and then have the recipiant of the letter act as if he were some kind of retarted idiot.

Godsdrummer, I, perhaps more than anyone here, hear your cry, “Why indeed do we need a priest anywhere near Landover?” Son, it will come as no surprise that the Demoncrats of this State have decreed that we will have to accept minorities.

We got ourselves a real live black, atheist, single-parent, disabled, wicker, lesbian who ticked six boxes – I tell you we paid a fortune for her when we out bid Wal-Mart. She alone qualified us for “no further investigation” status. The damnable woman was also dyslexic so she never posts but we do get another box ticked. Seven Boxes! Priase The Lord in His mercy and Wisdom, she was made for these lieberals.

However, because she doesn’t post and we can’t fire her, we have had to take on a catlick. Now we didn’t know (and it doesn’t matter because they are cheap enough) but we signed up for three of them at the last count, plus a couple of wickers, some guy who worships stones and two mad men.

[Wide-Open]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Amen Brother Bathfire.

Let's also not forget THIS abomination.

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Father Mo Answers Your Questions!

Well, I would argue that the statue of David is pornography. Michelangelo was a well-known sodomite and he commited many abominable crimes against nature with the young boy he chose to be the model for his sculpture. There is no reason for King David to be portrayed as nude, except of course for the fact that Michelangelo created it as a homoerotic symbol meant to appeal to the sodomite tendencies of all the Catholic priests, bishops, cardinals, and popes in Rome.

Your obvious homophobic internalisations aside, we know Michelangelo was a sinner but that is the case of all men. Even before your American authorities arrested and confined Pastor Al for fraud I tried to explain that no man is without sin but none of you seem to listen.

In the same way you enjoy the golf course Al built with his ill-gotten gain it is fine for someone to appreciate the works of great artists who were also, like the incarcerated former Senior Pastor, sinners of no small amount.

Now, a visit to the Vatican Secret Archives would be very interesting. I understand the no-camera policy and all the red-tape.

Qualified historians, curators and related experts are always welcome however I must warn you we have no sad clown paintings or dogs playing poker.

Does the Vatican Library have private areas where a scholar can go into alone and research works? Maybe a small booth or something?

We have a number of private booths designed for the discrete person of letters. Plenty of room to stretch out and take a load off your feet.



Bless you, My collector of Unicorn baubles,
Father Mo



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