Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

[Faith_Machine]

Friends, I read the following story with very mixed feeings:

Serpent-handling pastor profiled earlier in Washington Post dies from rattlesnake bite

Mack Wolford, a flamboyant Pentecostal pastor from West Virginia whose serpent-handling talents were profiled last November in The Washington Post Magazine , hoped the outdoor service he had planned for Sunday at an isolated state park would be a “homecoming like the old days,” full of folks speaking in tongues, handling snakes and having a “great time.” But it was not the sort of homecoming he foresaw.

Instead, Wolford, who turned 44 the previous day, was bitten by a rattlesnake he owned for years. He died late Sunday...

On the one hand, I know I should be glad there's one less false Christian in the world confusing people with unsound doctrine. On the other hand, I can't help but feel touched by the strength of this man's convictions. Yes, it was kind of wussy of him to go to the hospital in the end, but if you read the whole story, it looks like he held out as long as he could.

Imagine what God might have used him to accomplish if he'd been safely within the fold of a proper Baptist church! Such a waste!

Isn't there anything we can do to reach out to these Pentacostals? Do any of you have any helpful talking points I might keep in mind when witnessing to Pentacostals? I've often relied on Acts 17:16-34 for guidance in witnessing to unbelievers, but the special challenge the Pentacostal mind poses is that it doesn't see itself as an unbeliever.

I really hope some of you have some good ideas for me, because I'm inclined to just grab the next Pentacostal I see and shake him vigorously. Given the amount of spastic jerking and quaking those folks do in the normal course of their worship, however, I fear he might not notice.

[Jedediah]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Yet more evidence that Pentecostals are unsaved false believers...

Mark 16:17-18
And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

One of the ways I know I have been saved is by starting out each day with a shot of Clorox in my coffee. If the day ever comes where I am unable to drink deadly things without being hurt, then I will have deserved death for my faith would have waned. If this false-believing Pentecostal bore the fruits of the Spirit as I do, he would not have gone to the secular doctor. It is probably for this reason that the LORD chose to smite him.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

One of the ways I know I have been saved is by starting out each day with a shot of Clorox in my coffee.

Amen, brother. If you always give your newborns a shot of bleach in their formula, and they live long enough to understand the Good News© of Christ's temporary sacrifice, then you know it is because God predestined them to be among His elite.

I mean, hypothetically.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

What a maroon!

"Look at me! I don't understand the Bible! Here, I'm gonna pick up this poisonous snake and make it mad!
God will protect me from . . . OUCH! Don't worry, I'm fine . . . I'll just sit down here for a minute . . . I can't feel my hands. . .

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Instead, Wolford, who turned 44 the previous day, was bitten by a rattlesnake he owned for years. He died late Sunday...

A man without faith. A false prophet who was leading his sheep to Damnation. Why otherwise would a snake disobey God?

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

I lost count some time back, but I think I've been bit by 4 timber rattlers, 6 cottonmouths, and 2 coral snakes (one while I was sleeping).

Never had a problem.



Succumbing to serpent poison is a definite sign of unsteady faith.

YiC,

Zech

P.S. I also got bit by a homeless guy down in Tamarac, but I'm not sure he was poisonous.

[Noah Sole]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

I lost count some time back, but I think I've been bit by 4 timber rattlers, 6 cottonmouths, and 2 coral snakes (one while I was sleeping).

Never had a problem.



Succumbing to serpent poison is a definite sign of unsteady faith.

YiC,

Zech

P.S. I also got bit by a homeless guy down in Tamarac, but I'm not sure he was poisonous.

Brother Zechariah that is truly miraculous or did you have the antidote as explained in the Bible:

Numbers 21
8 And the Lord said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live.

9 And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.

This is another example of why the Bible is truly the font of all knowledge. If the snake-handler had bothered to read the Bible and make himself a fiery serpent of brass on a pole it is obvious he would still be here today as you are.

I'm not sure if this would work with the hobo though.



YIC

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Naturally, atheists are using this to mock Jesus.

God smites snake-fondling pastor

Surely, that’s the only explanation when a Pentacostal pastor, whose Pentacostal pastor father died from a snake bite received during a service, dies from a snake bite received during a service. Right?


Or maybe he was just another fool like his father, playing with poisonous animals and finally ticking the wrong one off.

Sometimes I wonder if the snake-fondlers are just homosexuals obsessed with phallic objects, or if they really are working for Satan to discredit the Lord.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Sometimes I wonder if the snake-fondlers are just homosexuals obsessed with phallic objects, or if they really are working for Satan to discredit the Lord.

I can think of no faster way to get to Hell than to become a Pentecostal.

It is formulaic.

[ExGay Alex]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

It is certainly no coincidence that he died on the actual Sunday of Pentecost.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Matthew 4:5-7
5Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,

6And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.

7Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

Even Jesus didn't dare God to kill Him.

[WWJDnow]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

A flamboyant preacher? Sounds like just one more dead gay. Now, I don't rejoice when anyone burns in Hell, except a Muslim terrorist or an atheist, but it's hard for me to feel too sorry for a sodomite masquerading as a minister.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Naturally, atheists are using this to mock Jesus.



Sometimes I wonder if the snake-fondlers are just homosexuals obsessed with phallic objects, or if they really are working for Satan to discredit the Lord.

You think that's an either/or proposition?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

Naturally, atheists are using this to mock Jesus.

Wait a minute, that link is to the Secular News Network? Isn't that a little like saying, "the wet water" or "the sweet sugar" or "the toxic poison" or "the thieving Armenian"?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Snake Handler Dies of Snake Bite

You think that's an either/or proposition?

I suppose it could be both.

Either way, it's good God smote him.