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  • Gabriel Reproba
    Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
    The Most Honest Lawyer in America
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2009
    • 2479

    #1

    The Bible Predicts The Internet!

    In a new study announced today, researchers describe how foraging ants act just like the internet.

    First, let me explain the internet to the elementary school students and any women who may be browsing this site with their husbands. When a file or message is sent from one computer to another, it uses a protocol (a set of rules) called TCP/IP. The TCP portion is the part we will focus on here.

    Suppose you want to send an email to the RNC telling them that you will donate your time and money to get a Godly candidate elected. Your computer breaks the document into a bunch of "packets". Just like real parcels sent through UPS or Fedex or that other service, each packet is wrapped with a label explaining where it came from, where it's going, and so forth.

    The packets follow various routes to their destination. As they arrive, the recipient sends a receipt to the sender. Meanwhile, the recipient uses the wrapper info to figure out whether all the packets have arrived, to put them in their correct order, and finally to reassemble the document. Transmission Accomplished!

    The best part is the flow control. The sender starts by spraying out some packets and timing how long it takes to get a receipt for them. (Sort of like sending young missionaries to Haiti and Africa and seeing how long it takes them to collect tithes.) If the receipts come quickly, the sender sends more packets at a time. If the receipts come slowly, the sender sends fewer packets at a time (even stopping cold, if necessary). And since there's an ongoing flow of shipments and receipts and timing, the sender can avoid flooding the network but can also avoid letting bandwidth go to waste!

    Now here is where the study comes in. Researchers at Leland Stanford Junior University have discovered that Harvester Ants have been using TCP all along. From the press release:

    …the rate at which harvester ants – which forage for seeds as individuals – leave the nest to search for food corresponds to food availability.

    A forager won't return to the nest until it finds food. If seeds are plentiful, foragers return faster, and more ants leave the nest to forage. If, however, ants begin returning empty handed, the search is slowed, and perhaps called off.

    …They also found that the ants followed two other phases of TCP. One phase is known as slow start, which describes how a source sends out a large wave of packets at the beginning of a transmission to gauge bandwidth; similarly, when the harvester ants begin foraging, they send out foragers to scope out food availability before scaling up or down the rate of outgoing foragers.
    Another protocol, called time-out, occurs when a data transfer link breaks or is disrupted, and the source stops sending packets. Similarly, when foragers are prevented from returning to the nest for more than 20 minutes, no more foragers leave the nest.
    Awesome, no? God is truly great. Obviously, this is a sign from Him that the internet is a tool for his good works. He even told us in the Bible about the internet.:

    Psalms 6:6
    Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.
    Wait…what? Did you just see that? Holy Jesus! How awesome is God? The Bible has been telling us about the internet for over 2,000 years! Wow!

    Only God and the Holy Bible can make such predictions. Of course, the islamo-fascist mafia will claim their scribbling also predict scientific discoveries made later. But get a load of what they call “predictions”:

    The quaran says “Iron was sent to earth by God” [57:25]. Islamists will say that this means that the quaran predicts that iron came to earth from asteroids. WRONG! While iron is a truly powerful substance (Judges 1:19), nothing in the Bible says that iron was “sent” to Earth. Iron was Made in America, baby. Try again, towel-heads!

    The quaran also say “The heavens and the earth were one before they were ripped apart. Life started in the water and living things are mostly water.” [21:30] Camel-jockeys say that this predicts the fact that humans are made up of 98% water. However the Bible says no such thing. Humans are, of course, made up of 100% God’s breath and women are made up of 99% rib. (1% is sugar, spice, and everything nice!)

    I could go on and on with crazy muslim claims about how their texts predict things that were obvious. But you all know the story. They hate God and America and are wrong. The simple fact of this stunning Biblical prediction of the internet is proof positive that it is the Bible that is the only reliable source of predictions and prophesy. What could be easier to see?
    Yours In Christ,

    Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

    Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

    Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
    Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
    The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
    Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
    How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
    20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
    God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
    Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
    Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
    Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
    There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
    Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

    Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.
  • Ezekiel Bathfire
    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
    Christ's Rottweiler
     
    • Jan 2008
    • 22839

    #2
    Re: The Bible Predicts The Internet!

    With God, you never stop learning. Everything is very complex. We don't know about complex things because they are complicated, but that's OK because God made it easy for us - He did it and all the hard work in those 6 days. Complexity is a sign of God's Love. E.g. Who knows what air does when we breathe it in? The lungs are very complex and must have had a creator.

    Anyway, I never knew that ants did much, but I am grateful now for knowing that they were put on earth by God so that the Internet could be invented.
    sigpic


    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

    Author of such illuminating essays as,
    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

    Comment

    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: The Bible Predicts The Internet!

      Well I have to admit, Mr. Reproba, that I didn't understand much of your post. I did understand the parts about UPS because that's what Sears uses. Anyway, I just have to say I too am just so amazed at the way our world is unfolding in such a way as to show how God knew all these things at the beginning of time! It's just amazing that He would create ants to work like this man-made invention that wouldn't even be conceived until about 6000 years after the invention of ants! And just the other day I was visiting a friend of mine recuperating from an illness, and realized I hadn't brought a gift. The moment that thought entered my head, I saw a Krispy Kreme Donuts on the corner just outside her neighborhood. I knew that the LORD, in His perfect sovereignty, had planned for the video store to burn down, punishing those sinners trapped inside, only to inspire the Krispy Kreme franchise to build there so I could bring a dozen glazed donuts and a gallon of coffee to my friend!








      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Cranky Old Man
        Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
        You kids get off his lawn!
         
        • Jan 2010
        • 22353

        #4
        Re: The Bible Predicts The Internet!

        So Al Gore stole his idea for the Internet from God! Why am I not surprised...
        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10049

          #5
          Re: The Bible Predicts The Internet!

          Now wait a minute. Why would I want my computer to slow down the sending of packets just because the network is slow? Isn't there some way I can rig it so I'm shooting the maximum amount of packets at all times?
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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