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  • Old Man Hatchet
    Super Moderator
    Beloved Church Elder
    World's Greatest Father and Grandfather
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2084

    #1

    Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man



    You're four years my junior.
  • Russell Holbeck
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2012
    • 735

    #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

    Hello Cranky Old Man.

    Happy birthday. You are older than me.

    Thank you.

    Rusty
    Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

    Comment

    • John Creeser
      Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
       
      • Aug 2009
      • 7248

      #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

      I understand you hate you hate birthdays brother Cranky, but did you have to smack the birthday cake Abigail made you out my of my boys hands!!

      Happy birthday brother.
      -Every young man's battle - PORN AND MASTURBATION![/SIZE]
      -DISOWN your ATHEIST children - just like this good mother did!!

      -FINALLY!! Some rights for the rapists!!
      -There is no such thing as animal abuse!!
      -Pregnancy through RAPE is a GIFT from God
      -Keep the Fags out of the Boy Scouts!!
      -WIVES!! Stay in your abusive relationship!

      STOP, DROP & ROLL DOESN'T WORK IN HELL!!!!


      Comment

      • James Hutchins
        True Christian™
        Just a Regular Nice Guy
         
        • Jun 2009
        • 29453

        #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

        Happy Birthday Cranky.
        I feel for your sorrow that God has not killed you yet. I'll pray it happens soon.
        Your Pal,
        James
        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • Basilissa
          South of the Border outreach program
          True Christian™
           
          • Mar 2013
          • 12992

          #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

          Happy birthday!!
          God created fossils to test our faith.

          * * *

          My favorite LBC sermons:
          True Christians are Perfect!
          True Christian™ Love.
          Salvation™ made Easy!
          You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
          Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
          Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
          Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
          Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
          The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
          Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
          God HATES Rational Thinking!
          True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

          Comment

          • Cranky Old Man
            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
            You kids get off his lawn!
             
            • Jan 2010
            • 22375

            #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

            Originally posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
            You're four years my junior.
            Yes you are my friend. Your wisdom will guide me until the day Jesus finally kills me. Clearly Jesus has more suffering for me to endure before I am worthy to stand besides Him laughing at my annoying neighbor Mrs. Johnson suffering in Hell.

            Originally posted by John Creeser View Post
            I understand you hate you hate birthdays brother Cranky, but did you have to smack the birthday cake Abigail made you out my of my boys hands!!
            I was aiming for his head but Jesus has been reducing my eyesight lately.

            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
            I feel for your sorrow that God has not killed you yet. I'll pray it happens soon.
            You are a true friend Brother James!

            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
            Happy birthday!
            Do I know you?
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • Ex-soccer player
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2012
              • 285

              #7
              Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

              Happy birthday, Cranky Old Man. You are an inspiration to many around the world and your postings are full of the Holy Spirit.

              And there came a voice out of the cloud, saying, This is my beloued Son, heare him. (Luke 9:35)
              Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division - Luke 12:51

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #8
                Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                I prayed for you to get a good nap on your birthday.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • Mary Etheldreda
                  Gushing for Jesus
                   
                  • Sep 2011
                  • 23775

                  #9
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                  A most Blessed Birthday, Dear Cranky.

                  Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                  Comment

                  • Daisy Mae Johnson
                    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2006
                    • 15708

                    #10
                    Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!




                    I hope you and the Mrs. had a wonderful
                    evening!
                    sigpic

                    Tweet me Here
                    My GODLY Bio Here

                    Comment

                    • Levi Jones
                      Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
                      Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
                      Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
                       
                      • Jul 2009
                      • 13930

                      #11
                      Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                      To one of our most pious brothers in Christ. A true shining beacon of God's love in a minefield that keeps out evil from the world. Though, the minefield is real (No seriously. He is not kidding about those signs.) everything else I said is true too.
                      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.

                      Comment

                      • Faith_Machine
                        Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                        True Christian™
                        • Mar 2011
                        • 10050

                        #12
                        Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                        Cornelius, please accept my sincere apologies for the novelty cake I had delivered to your home.



                        I, in my naivete, had been completely unaware of the implications of those blue and yellow, diamond shaped pills. I thought they were some kind of "pep" pill, and hadn't realized their disgusting, sexual purpose.

                        I am very, very sorry.
                        WARNING:
                        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                        Comment

                        • Cranky Old Man
                          Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                          You kids get off his lawn!
                           
                          • Jan 2010
                          • 22375

                          #13
                          Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                          Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
                          Cornelius, please accept my sincere apologies for the novelty cake I had delivered to your home.
                          I, in my naivete, had been completely unaware of the implications of those blue and yellow, diamond shaped pills. I thought they were some kind of "pep" pill, and hadn't realized their disgusting, sexual purpose.

                          I am very, very sorry.
                          Yes, you should be very sorry. My wife mistook the pills that were also part of the package for herbs and put them in my food. My night has been beyond horrible!
                          5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                          To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                          James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                          Comment

                          • Faith_Machine
                            Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                            True Christian™
                            • Mar 2011
                            • 10050

                            #14
                            Re: Happy Birthday, Cranky Old Man

                            I'm so sorry. Sometimes it seems like everything I touch is guaranteed to turn bad.

                            WARNING:
                            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                            Comment

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