[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

The 5th November remember remember...

What does a good Christian burning of heathen books on Halloween have to do with November 5, when Catholic terrorists attempted to blow up the British parliament?

[PeterCrackhead]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

What does a good Christian burning of heathen books on Halloween have to do with November 5, when Catholic terrorists attempted to blow up the British parliament?

Sadly, they failed... who was the target of Guy Fawkes? what is your preferred bible?

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Sadly, they failed... who was the target of Guy Fawkes? what is your preferred bible?

Aren't you some kind of atheist? Guy Fawkes and his pals wanted to turn England back over to the Catholic Church. How is that preferable?

[PeterCrackhead]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Aren't you some kind of atheist? Guy Fawkes and his pals wanted to turn England back over to the Catholic Church. How is that preferable?

What can I say I might be an atheist but I enjoy Catholic Cultural... I believe that Guy Fawkes would have made England Great Again by blowing up King James and Parliament.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

What can I say I might be an atheist but I enjoy Catholic Cultural

You enjoy hypocrisy, alcoholism, organized crime, and pedophilia?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Because God sees and knows all Psalm 147:5, and he sees all Job 28:24 that means he knows about what people do in their bedrooms. Specifically, He knows when they're having filthy, repulsive anal sex. Now, imagine how God feels. He is the ultimate judge, so in order to be fair in responsible he has to take EVERYTHING into consideration. Meaning, he has to watch homosexuals insert their perverted tallywackers into each other.

Homosexuals know this and yet they still do it, they probably get off on the idea of Jesus watching them insert their tallywackers into each other's hineys, wearing the crevasse's of each other's hineys as masks, and spitting out Jesus's loving blood in favor of another man's tallywacker secretion.

So this is why Jesus sent covid as an airborne illness that requires the use of masks to avoid. By all the Angels in Heaven brother, you prophesied this disease years ago!


Glory!

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

So this is why Jesus sent covid as an airborne illness that requires the use of masks to avoid. By all the Angels in Heaven brother, you prophesied this disease years ago!


Glory!

Thanks for pointing this out. Sometimes the Lord works in mysterious ways and sometimes not so mysterious and predictable ways. Jesus hates anal sex and other same sex debauchery, and always has.


If all same sex sin stopped I'm willing to bet this virus would go away, but these deviants care more about sniffing another man's rectum than they do saving our nation.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

If all same sex sin stopped I'm willing to bet this virus would go away, but these deviants care more about sniffing another man's rectum than they do saving our nation.

Indeed, Brother. These Sodomites just don't stop. They don't stop sodomizing each other for Jesus, for the health of their neighbors, or for the sake of their landlords. They don't stop for defecation or vomiting or even death, I've been told. They really just hate Jesus. And probably their grandmothers, too.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Indeed, Brother. These Sodomites just don't stop. They don't stop sodomizing each other for Jesus, for the health of their neighbors, or for the sake of their landlords. They don't stop for defecation or vomiting or even death, I've been told. They really just hate Jesus. And probably their grandmothers, too.

Sometimes I don't understand this country. There is endless talk of masks, vaccinations, distancing and whatever. Our leaders just talk around the real source of disease spread, homer sex.

We have laws against certain kinds of sex, rape for example. Why aren't there no nonsense laws with severe penalties against what Jesus hates, anal sex?

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Sometimes I don't understand this country. There is endless talk of masks, vaccinations, distancing and whatever. Our leaders just talk around the real source of disease spread, homer sex.

We have laws against certain kinds of sex, rape for example. Why aren't there no nonsense laws with severe penalties against what Jesus hates, anal sex?

https://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/coronavirus/2020/03/incels-celebrating-lockdown-casual-sex-chad-stacy-4chan-reddit

There's apparently a community of incels celebrating the coronavirus lockdowns because it limits people's abilities to have casual sex. It's only safe for people living in the same household according to CDC guidelines.







Now that I think of it, a pandemic like this would severely limit casual sex. This makes me wonder, could this have been one of Jesus's motivating factors in allowing this pandemic to spread?


He must have gotten so fedup with people having casual anal sex that He let the pandemic spread to make it harder for strangers to meetup on Grindr and such.

If all gay people turned straight tomorrow, I have no doubt that this pandemic would end in short order, but as usual care more about romancing the rectum than they do the safety of our nation. It's sick.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

I think we can all agree that God's immaculate conception of Mary proves that God is indeed is a straight God that would hate to watch any sort of perversion.

Immaculate conception of Mary? Isn't that some baby splashing, ring kissing, dress wearing Vulgate nonsense?



Might as well ask Pastor Zeke as he is an expert on that these days.

[Basilissa]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Immaculate conception of Mary? Isn't that some baby splashing, ring kissing, dress wearing Vulgate nonsense?

Brother Warrior doesn't mean that Mary was born through immaculate conception (that is indeed a Catholic heresy), he means that God impregnated Mary without a physical "outie" entering a physical "innie."

Mary lost her virginity to her Son, as He moved through the birth canal.

Might as well ask Pastor Zeke as he is an expert on that these days.

I see you still haven't mastered the ability to read more than the headlines.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Hi Basilissa, I didn't know you were speaking for Brother Warrior these days. That's an interesting arrangement.


However, if that is indeed what he meant by "immaculate conception", then I think that's a rather poor choice of words. What's next, are we going to call Pastor Zeke "the Pope" when we actually mean the Pastor of Landover Baptist Church?! - oh wait!

[Basilissa]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Hi Basilissa, I didn't know you were speaking for Brother Warrior these days. That's an interesting arrangement.

My dear Falsie: I do not dare to speak for anyone - especially not for a True Christian™ Man (1 Timothy 2:12). I was merely clarifying a comment that would be obvious for anyone with an IQ higher than that of a mouse.

However, if that is indeed what he meant by "immaculate conception", then I think that's a rather poor choice of words.

I will bet you that this is what most people who classify themselves as Catholic believe - I've met very few who were actually aware of the preposterous idea that Mary would have been immaculately conceived herself.

What's next, are we going to call Pastor Zeke "the Pope" when we actually mean the Pastor of Landover Baptist Church?! - oh wait!

Oh dear. Let me quote the post you still decline to read. I will color code it for your convenience. The most important bits are in red:

Hold your horses! I'm not gonna give up the only True Way™ to worship my Pal Jesus. No way! But the current pope, the Francis guy, is 84 and will die any day now. There's gonna be the next pope who will continue to spread altarboy sex, Mary worship and islam and evolution just like the current Messican guy.

We can change all that. I studied how the catlicks choose their leader. The cardinals form an electoral college of all the papal states, gather in the sixteenth chapel with their "aides" and vote until someone gets two thirds of the vote. Then they burn white incense and the next pope goes on to give a speech to the idiotic catlick mob.

What if that guy was me?! I found out that ANYONE can be the pope as long as he is a heterosexual male of good standing in the cult. I'm a heterosexual (definitely, the rumors are fake news) male of extremely good standing. Not yet a member of that cult but that can be fixed. We could reach billions of souls to Jesus, destroy the catlick cult from the inside, read all the secret documents of the Vatican and throw our own Father Mo to lifetime imprisonment.

What I need to do?

1. More tithes from you
2. I need to take a cathecist course. The Catholic Education Center, offers online catechist training and I need your help to fill in the exams. I mean, if I was to do them myself, my superior Biblical knowledge would be revealed and that could raise suspicions and no catlick knows the Bible by heart
3. I join the cult as a CHINO (catlick in name only)

I'll also need to do some extra work that is required of the catlick priests. I must mingle with the nuns and study their minges and probably make a few of them pregnant just like every catlick priest. I'll also need to pose in suggestive positions with my houseboys. This is extremely important as no catlick priest ever misses the opportunity to get some private time with houseboysaltar boys. I must also learn some Latin and Eyetalian phrases but that is not a problem for a man who knows not only American but also Jap, Tagalog, Cherokee and body language Veynee veedee veechee as they say!

I also have lots and lots of revealing photos of most of the cardinals and that will ensure their votes for me. As they always strive to ogle their altarboys, I'm also ready to show some skin, all in the service of Jesus. He'll forgive me all this as I'm doing HIS work and I'll pray the inevitable AIDS away!

This does not mean that the 2024 POTUS ticket would be cancelled. On the contrary, having both thrones in our hands would ensure the flow of billions of $ in tithes to assist us in our mission to save tens of souls and finally get me my jet. Ideas?

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Homosexuals are forcing Jesus to watch them have ANAL SEX!!

Immaculate conception of Mary? Isn't that some baby splashing, ring kissing, dress wearing Vulgate nonsense?

Might as well ask Pastor Zeke as he is an expert on that these days.

Brother Warrior doesn't mean that Mary was born through immaculate conception (that is indeed a Catholic heresy), he means that God impregnated Mary without a physical "outie" entering a physical "innie."

Mary lost her virginity to her Son, as He moved through the birth canal. .

Yes, that's what I meant to say. Not to say that Mary was sin free. It's a fair criticism. Sometimes my anger towards anal sex is so much that I use poor phrasing.


Though the larger point I want to emphasize here is that Jesus's natural order involves a father and a mother, a man and a woman. A man didn't give birth to Jesus. God the Father's magical essence somehow found their way into Mary's virgin body which allowed her to bring our savoir onto our physical Earthly existance.


Jesus has to watch every occurrence of anal sex ever to occur, including those that happened while he was in Mary's womb. Even while he was on the cross dying for our sins, He must have also been witnessing anal sex happening all around the world. The sacrifices our savoir makes for us are incredible and awe inspiring. I could never match the amount of anal sex that Jesus watches.

Might as well ask Pastor Zeke as he is an expert on that these days.

As for Pastor Zeke, he made it very clear he plans to be a catholic in name only. The Pope by and large decides the dogma of the Catholic church, so maybe, just maybe, with a person like him at the helms the Catholic Church really could be a church of True Christians™. Policy could be re-written overnight.


No more purgatory. No more worshipping statues of Mary. No more fake wine blood and body wafers. No more kiddie diddling. Pastor Zeke would have the Church converted overnight potentially saving millions of souls in the process. It's a "fix them from the inside" plan, not an endorsement of present day Catholic doctrine.