[James Hutchins]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

I think there's already an app for JesOS, Brother.

But how about a junior app - sort of like Pokemon Go, but with witches? My husband has a firm rule (no live ammo in your weapons until your sixth birthday) and the littlest ones are always disappointed not to be able to join in the fun.

Women are so over protective! Children can only learn how to handle a weapon if they handle a weapon.



When little Elias gets their thumb web caught in the slide for the tenth time, they learn to use one hand. After a few black eyes from the kick of a 1911, a tyke learns that a little .223 is more fun for them (and cheaper on Dad's wallet too!).


You young people know all this computer stuff. I still use the tried and true million candle power searchlight to stun the witches and then the family lets loose.


The excitement is building!

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Women are so over protective! Children can only learn how to handle a weapon if they handle a weapon.

Oh, Brother Hutchins, I don't have any say in the matter! The no-live-ammo rule was dictated by my husband, after a couple of unfortunate (and very expensive) incidents that are best forgotten. It boils down to "No live ammo until you are old enough to understand that your father's racehorses and prize Charolais bulls are not there for target practice." Six years old seems to be the age for that.


It doesn't stop them spear-fishing most nights, though. There's a Beluga whale just up the estuary from us, though I'm rather hoping they don't find it as I am not some sort of Eskimo and wouldn't know how to cook it.

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Oh, Brother Hutchins, I don't have any say in the matter! The no-live-ammo rule was dictated by my husband, after a couple of unfortunate (and very expensive) incidents that are best forgotten. It boils down to "No live ammo until you are old enough to understand that your father's racehorses and prize Charolais bulls are not there for target practice." Six years old seems to be the age for that.


It doesn't stop them spear-fishing most nights, though. There's a Beluga whale just up the estuary from us, though I'm rather hoping they don't find it as I am not some sort of Eskimo and wouldn't know how to cook it.

Very reasonable. I have to admit, I've gone out to the'car barn' and found a few bullet holes in my cars, no doubt from high spirited horseplay as well.

I spoil my kids and none of the boys have to do 'barn duty' as shoveling manure and such is (as I am sure you understand) 'woman's work' that is part of making them attractive to a potential husband. The Hutchin's boys all learn how to run a company and mange people. Seeing the little tykes up on the 'boss man' cart, yelling instructions through a bull horn at all the field workers, makes a daddy proud.


Whale hunting, that sounds like fun! I imagine everyone 'gets a hit' with one of those beasts.We tried our hand at seal hunting last spring in California. We used sledge hammers. Some crazy people yelled at us about 'clubbing' the disgusting animals. Such idiots.


Anywho, I am looking forward to seeing your families talley. It is all about togetherness,the family unit and most of all, showing our love to Jesus.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

I have been asked to reply to the following letter on behalf of Pastor Flint.

Dear Mrs Brown,


Thank you for your letter of 12th October. I do apologize for the errors of Bobby-Joe. I can fully understand why you were upset: the correct legislation is, in fact, Section 1341(f)(iv) and not as quoted. I will ensure that Bobby-Joe is made aware of this.

I enclose your application form for a Witch Hunting Permit (2018) Unrestricted and the new Tithing form.


Yours in Christ,

[BrotherLarry]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Oh, Brother Hutchins, I don't have any say in the matter! The no-live-ammo rule was dictated by my husband, after a couple of unfortunate (and very expensive) incidents that are best forgotten. It boils down to "No live ammo until you are old enough to understand that your father's racehorses and prize Charolais bulls are not there for target practice." Six years old seems to be the age for that.


It doesn't stop them spear-fishing most nights, though. There's a Beluga whale just up the estuary from us, though I'm rather hoping they don't find it as I am not some sort of Eskimo and wouldn't know how to cook it.

I covet your prayers, Sister. I am envious that you have an estuary, and envy is a sin.

[Godlovesemos]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Welp I'm a witch and I'm gay.

[Basilissa]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Welp I'm a witch and I'm gay.

Dear, honestly, one of these doesn't really matter. You are not going to serve two eternities for two crimes. Just one of them is enough to condemn you forever:

Exodus 22:18 - Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

Leviticus 20:13 - If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Welp I'm a witch and I'm gay.

Come visit us in Freehold at the end of October! We've got cookies and milk for you.

Free of charge.










I call dibs on this witch!

[Godlovesemos]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Would love to enjoy those cookies and milk but oops i'm lactose intolerant.

[Didymus Much]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Would love to enjoy those cookies and milk but oops i'm lactose intolerant.

I bet you're even more intolerant of high-velocity nickel-jacketed lead, but it would be the humane choice here.

Less suffering, you know?

Not that God of the Bible would care either way, but still.

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Seven more days, one more than it took for God to create EVERYTHING!

Five more days to purchase permits.

Bobby-Joes 'Gunz N' Ammo' will be open until midnight on the 'dead Witching Night' for all you last minute shoppers.

New this year is a consideration for all accidental 'hits' of a GOTH. It has been brought to managements attention that out of the corner of a decent persons eye, one of these 'people' can appear to be a Witch and as such, cause licensed With Hunters® to expend a round based on the 'shoot first, check second' trained response. A waste of ammunition and a risk of missing an actual Witch hiding in the midst of GOTHs. So it has been decided to award one half of a KC ('kill credit') for any GOTH hits. Proof of a GOTH is eye makeup, tattoos or black clothing (note, a body and a brown paper bag containing these items is acceptable). Note, a GOTH club accidentally blown up will only count based on a officially recognized body count by a Certified Counter©. All decisions final.


As in the past, any shots that hit a Pastors Escalade or personal vehicle will be charged back and the shooter will be reduced in status. Do not be a Tin Tither!

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Attention: After services on Sunday, while the ladies are having tea and cackling, the men will be having a 'Last Chance Gunz N Ammo' sale in the Men's lounge.



Bobby-Joe will have a limited supply of silver plated bullets from .223 to .80 calibers. There is still ample preloaded belt-feed in 250 round cases.He will also take rush orders from Platinum Tithers for custom loads with guaranteed delivery by 10/30/2018.



There will be a children's seminar 'Gun Cleaning for Christ' with the theme of "God Loves Cleanliness of Soul, Mind and Weapon".



Remember, all sales are for the benefit of the Pastorial General Fund(r)



Please, no discharging of weapons in the Church anteroom. Firing may only be done in the Church indoor range.

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

What a day we had yesterday at Church. Nearly all the silver plated ammo is sold, with a percentage going to the Widows and Orphans of 2018 who suffered during the hurricanes this Year at Landover. Unwanted donations will be used for the 'First December Men's Get-To-Get-her' at the Landover's Men's Club.


Tom Smythes boy, Billy is still alive though the Grace of God. While the hole in his head is quite large, it does not seem to of affected him much. I am sure it is not 'attempted murder' as Tom was going on about (I think he drinks a lot) because if someone wanted to kill the boy (and who could blame them) God would of killed him. So please, lets not focus on the past but look forward to a fun, successful and Goldy Witch Hunt.


Bill-Joe will have his mobile armory at the Church for all your last minute gun tuning needs. The 500 yard range will be open until sunset through the 31st for those who need to fine adjust their scopes.



Go get them and Be with God!

[Muhammad Farooqi]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Picture scary

[James Hutchins]

Re: 2018 Witch Hunt

Wow Pastor, that sounds incredible! No doubt it will be a sell out like every other of your modest little get togethers for your humble Church goers. I'll look forward next Sunday to seeing that the 'donor list' will no doubt matches 100% to the Platinum Tithers of the LBC Chrystal Cathedral.


Well everyone, the fun starts in just a few hours. Remember, not is only fun to kill witches, it is good for the community too.


A reminder, you must present a minimum of 60% of the witch (two hands and two feet) to be credited. Have your logbooks handy!


Bang-Bang!