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  • #1921
    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

    Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post

    The person below me has a launch pad in their yard and is ready for the rapture.
    False, but I have a Rapture ready toilet.



    The person under me is already halfway through their Christmas shopping.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • #1922
      Re: The person under me: (True or false)

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      False, but I have a Rapture ready toilet.



      The person under me is already halfway through their Christmas shopping.
      TRUE! I've ordered KJV's for all the false Christians I know, and am preparing the "donation made in your name to Landover Baptist Church and the GOP" slips for the atheist liberals and the Jews.

      I suppose the True Christians™ would appreciate the same!

      The person under me thinks Jesus would approve of my Christmas gifts.
      Bible boring? Nonsense!
      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

      Comment

      • #1923
        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

        Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
        The person under me thinks Jesus would approve of my Christmas gifts.
        True (if He existed), but He'd probably wonder why we celebrate His birth at the wrong time of year.

        The person below me lives near a university, and sometimes wishes the drinking age was raised to 40 (3:15 am and they're still going ).

        Comment

        • #1924
          Re: The person under me: (True or false)

          Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post

          The person below me lives near a university, and sometimes wishes the drinking age was raised to 40 (3:15 am and they're still going ).
          True (I live near Landover Baptist University), but false (I don't think the government should interfere in our lives by setting the legal drinking age. Let the free market decide!).


          The person under me has his own private Starbucks Barista on call in his palatial estate (The one that Jesus gave him.).
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • #1925
            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            The person under me has his own private Starbucks Barista on call in his palatial estate (The one that Jesus gave him.).
            True, and while I enjoy my coffee, I have a good soak in my new Japanese Bath. Nothing better than a Godly cleaning by my new bath girls.


            The person below me wants to try out my new bath facilities
            Attached Files

            Comment

            • #1926
              Re: The person under me: (True or false)

              True, although I am not quite sure what the two asian women are there for.

              The person below me believes that Obama is the worse thing to happen to our great nation and enjoys bagels with cream cheese and lox.
              Genesis 4:12: When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.

              Numbers 35:19: The revenger of blood himself shall slay the murderer: when he meeteth him, he shall slay him.

              Comment

              • #1927
                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                Originally posted by Higgins View Post
                The person below me believes that Obama is the worse thing to happen to our great nation and enjoys bagels with cream cheese and lox.
                Oh Dear Jesus YES. Bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon and capers.

                NEXT: The person below me believes that God put a male and a female of EVERY species on Noah's ark.
                2 Chronicles 7:14
                14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land Australia.

                Comment

                • #1928
                  Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                  Originally posted by Sister Charli View Post
                  Oh Dear Jesus YES. Bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon and capers.

                  NEXT: The person below me believes that God put a male and a female of EVERY species on Noah's ark.
                  FALSE! That is a very clever trick question, Sister!

                  Noah put a male and female of every UNCLEAN kind of animal, but SEVEN of every CLEAN kind, so he would have something to eat and sacrifice!

                  The person below me believes that there were dinosaurs on the Ark.
                  Bible boring? Nonsense!
                  Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                  You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                  Comment

                  • #1929
                    Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                    False. Dinosaurs died in the flood.

                    The person below me loves Sister Phebe's Praise Ponies!
                    Girls for God

                    Ephesians 5:22

                    Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

                    Comment

                    • #1930
                      Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                      Originally posted by Annie1 View Post
                      The person below me loves Sister Phebe's Praise Ponies!
                      Well, kind of true. I have a string of polo ponies. Does that count?



                      The person under me has a large order of Christian Candy coming, and is planning on handing it out at church in a few weeks time.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                      Comment

                      • #1931
                        Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                        Well, kind of true. I have a string of polo ponies. Does that count?



                        The person under me has a large order of Christian Candy coming, and is planning on handing it out at church in a few weeks time.
                        TRUE! There are a number of people in my congregation who do not live directly in North Salem, and who have to deal with Trick or Treaters. Since some are elderly, I recommend they use this form of nonviolent protest, giving some TestaMints and a Chick Tract to every child.

                        The person below me can't wait for Halloween to be over, so he can VOTE REPUBLICAN on November 2!
                        Bible boring? Nonsense!
                        Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                        You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment

                        • #1932
                          Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                          Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
                          TRUE! There are a number of people in my congregation who do not live directly in North Salem, and who have to deal with Trick or Treaters. Since some are elderly, I recommend they use this form of nonviolent protest, giving some TestaMints and a Chick Tract to every child.

                          The person below me can't wait for Halloween to be over, so he can VOTE REPUBLICAN on November 2!
                          True.

                          The person below me believes Obama is a Illegal Kenyan-Mexican Immigrant who was raised by Satan and placed in this nation to suppress True Christian Americans for four years.

                          Comment

                          • #1933
                            Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                            Originally posted by David Micheal View Post
                            True.

                            The person below me believes Obama is a Illegal Kenyan-Mexican Immigrant who was raised by Satan and placed in this nation to suppress True Christian Americans for four years.
                            FALSE. I know Obama is a Illegal Kenyan-Mexican Immigrant who was raised by Satan and placed in this nation to suppress True Christian Americans for four years.

                            The person under me is going to bake a wonderful pie this evening.


                            sigpic
                            Praise our faithful Landover Baptist women

                            Ephesians 5:23_(King James Version)"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body."

                            Comment

                            • #1934
                              Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                              Originally posted by Viggo B. Kristoffersen View Post
                              FALSE. I know Obama is a Illegal Kenyan-Mexican Immigrant who was raised by Satan and placed in this nation to suppress True Christian Americans for four years.

                              The person under me is going to bake a wonderful pie this evening.
                              False, my wife will be baking a wonderful pie this evening.

                              The person below me is a True Christian Republican.

                              Comment

                              • #1935
                                Re: The person under me: (True or false)

                                Originally posted by David Micheal View Post
                                The person below me is a True Christian Republican.
                                True! God Bless Landover Baptist Church, God Bless America, and God Bless the Republican Party!


                                The person under me gets the heebie-jeebies whenever they see a black cat.
                                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                Comment

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