[DolliMoans]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Mitza dear, you've just posed a puzzle that muddles my womanly brain a tad, but I think I follow for the most part. Know what else is puzzling, but not at all surprising? Have you noticed nearly all the #MeToo aggressors being accused all seem to be JEWISH MEN!?

Harvey Wienerstein, Dustin Hoffman, James Levine....goodness, why if this doesn't prove all Jewish men are creepy toad-like perverts, I don't know what would! We all know why. They are so butt ugly, who'd want play with their tiny dreidels unless there was force, or a good price?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

If you are being offered incentives to pirouette in undersize yoga-pants now is a good time to be aware that the Tel Aviv diamond exchange is launching a cryptocurrency. You may be interested in comparing these two charts.

[ATTACH]27137[/ATTACH]

[ATTACH]27140[/ATTACH]

You will notice early March there is a particular shape in both charts that your incentivist "friend" needs to explain if he is offering you diamonds. There are probably some other similarities too but I am not claiming to understand charts, just matching patterns. Often, when sharing the exciting news about Jesus during the evening (or early morning) and since it's advisable to wear more highly visible clothing due to various factors at those times, I've been asked to help people demonstrate eurythmics (or whatever they think they're doing) but I always decline. No matter how avid the declarations of friendship may be. Before co-operating you should ask, is this person really my friend.

[Elijah Mee, PhD]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Mitza dear, you've just posed a puzzle that muddles my womanly brain a tad, but I think I follow for the most part. Know what else is puzzling, but not at all surprising? Have you noticed nearly all the #MeToo aggressors being accused all seem to be JEWISH MEN!?

Sexual impropriety is as deeply embedded into the Jewish psyche as sucking off little boys' foreskins.

Please be careful though, Sister. We all know its the heebs causing all the trouble but you're not supposed to notice. There's a war on noticing, in case you haven't noticed.

It makes me sick. You can't even call a kike a kike these days.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Sexual impropriety is as deeply embedded into the Jewish psyche as sucking off little boys' foreskins.
Please be careful though, Sister. We all know its the heebs causing all the trouble but you're not supposed to notice. There's a war on noticing, in case you haven't noticed.
It makes me sick. You can't even call a kike a kike these days.

I'm so grateful Landover Baptist Church continues to stand up against the Jewish conspiracy. The Jews want every foreskin cut off so they can parade their victorious organs for all so see.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I am offended by the lithe, tight-buttocked young fellow who mows my parents' lawn. While I don't often visit, he seems to be there on Saturdays between 2 and 330. It was unseasonably warm there so he did his work shirtless and he did so every Saturday between 2 and 330 last mowing season. Coincidentally, it was during that time that I found myself free to visit my parents, so I had to sit in my former bedroom and watch him out the back window for that entire time. His firm, taut muscles were glistening in the sun as I stared, offended beyond belief.


I took him a tall, cold lemonade on several of those occasions, thinking he'd be moved to put on a shirt in the presence of a young, intelligent, well built and handsome man such as I . But no - he just stayed there half-nude (sorry ladies) as I saw perspiration trickle down toward the exposed waistband of his undergarment. I went back in the bedroom and prayed that my parents wouldn't also be offended. I am thinking of asking father to hire someone else but since I don't live there any longer I am thinking that might be overstepping my boundaries a little. When this fellow is fully clothed, he seems pleasant. He fills his shirts out well and his trousers seem amply packed. His hair is meticulously groomed and I never detect any hints of alcohol on his breath, particularly when I go to give him a greeting hug.


If this were your parents' home, would you do/say anything? I am particularly interested in the opinion of Dr. Niles, but since I am trying to protect my dear mother - even though she continues to embrace catholicity - so the opinions of the ladies would also be welcome. Brother Hutchins, is this a shootable offense?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I am offended by the lithe, tight-buttocked young fellow who mows my parents' lawn. While I don't often visit, he seems to be there on Saturdays between 2 and 330. It was unseasonably warm there so he did his work shirtless and he did so every Saturday between 2 and 330 last mowing season. Coincidentally, it was during that time that I found myself free to visit my parents, so I had to sit in my former bedroom and watch him out the back window for that entire time. His firm, taut muscles were glistening in the sun as I stared, offended beyond belief.


I took him a tall, cold lemonade on several of those occasions, thinking he'd be moved to put on a shirt in the presence of a young, intelligent, well built and handsome man such as I . But no - he just stayed there half-nude (sorry ladies) as I saw perspiration trickle down toward the exposed waistband of his undergarment. I went back in the bedroom and prayed that my parents wouldn't also be offended. I am thinking of asking father to hire someone else but since I don't live there any longer I am thinking that might be overstepping my boundaries a little. When this fellow is fully clothed, he seems pleasant. He fills his shirts out well and his trousers seem amply packed. His hair is meticulously groomed and I never detect any hints of alcohol on his breath, particularly when I go to give him a greeting hug.


If this were your parents' home, would you do/say anything? I am particularly interested in the opinion of Dr. Niles, but since I am trying to protect my dear mother - even though she continues to embrace catholicity - so the opinions of the ladies would also be welcome. Brother Hutchins, is this a shootable offense?

This is a pickle, indeed but have seen this kind of thing several times before and it makes my quiver every single time, thoroughly and without pause, I expect.

That’s right: lesbians

A lady lesbian has her foul myopic gaze glued on your mother!

You see, the lady lesbiopath thinks of nothing else but breaking up decent Christian marriages when the husband has done nothing wrong and even repeatedly proves his point with relevant Scripture and anatomically correct diagrams

But as the sight of a 6’4” bulking brute of a war-dyke will scare off their intended victim (and herbivorous wild life) they have to resort to using cat’s paws.

That’s right: predatory homersexualistical anal aficionados. Just like a certain demographic with a perchant for money and killing Christ uses the Nigra to do his hook nosed bidding so does the rampant rectal, recidivism reprobateds work at the behest of their lesbionic overloads.

This well muscled character (be he glabrous of chest or hairsute) has one aim and one aim only: a singular non-bifurcated monk modal aim and that is to

A) rape (legitimate, anal) your father and course him to chose to start smoking the skin flute and

2) make him leave your dear old Mum (who lets face it must be a bit dim to to be a mackerel snapper).

Then the towering behemoth of female falactitude will pounce and force you mum to become a pagan lady lesbian and inculcate more women into thinking that God fearing manly Christians are to be spurned.

If you value your Mum and dad’s spiritual future you MUST expose this lithe pervert for the abomination he is.

There are four ways you can do this:

1: follow the example of Godly Mr Trump and hire a joo lawyer to entrap him with a non disclosure order, somehow.

2: suggest to his face he is an egregious agent of anal assault and you are going to tell everyone and when he reacts with violence call the police and say he attacked you (don’t worry, the muscles in his wrists have atrophisificated to such and extend that he will not be able to manage more than a gentle slap)

C) tell your parents exactly what he is planning; loudly in a hysterical voice shouting pro- anti homersexualism verse (Lev 20:13 is my go to example of the love True Christians(tm) have for the gaywise). To fully convey the emotion you have to threaten first to do violence to them (the burning building strategy) or to yourself (so they know your Christian sense of self sacrifice is at play, here).

Either way, he’s out of the picture and with luck another predatory pervert is locked up and a Militant International Lesbian Front is thwarted.

Keep us posted.

YIC

[BrotherLarry]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

This is a pickle, indeed but have seen this kind of thing several times before and it makes my quiver every single time, thoroughly and without pause, I expect.

That’s right: lesbians

Either way, he’s out of the picture and with luck another predatory pervert is locked up and a Militant International Lesbian Front is thwarted.

Keep us posted.

YIC

Wow - I feel so silly! The answer was there all the time. I have printed this out so I'll know what to do next time I visit. Damn lesbians.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Wow - I feel so silly! The answer was there all the time. I have printed this out so I'll know what to do next time I visit. Damn lesbians.

It’s nearly always one of the gaywise.

Or maybe the joos.

YIC

[Diesel Stanford]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

My wife, my boss, the liberal politicans in my country, Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, Muslims, sodomites (I already wrote to the Government that they may ban LGBT marriage, but they just won't listen), so called Atheists (I call them "so called", because usually Atheists do ignore God, but the so called Atheists attack me a lot because of my faith)...

[Didymus Much]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

People who capitalize atheist (unless it's the first word of a sentence or part of a group's name, like American Atheists). It's not a proper noun.

[Basilissa]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I'm offended by the sheer existence of the word, "stormy." It should be banned and bleeped out like all other profanities, whether the subject is <bleep> weather or <bleep> Daniels.

I'm actually starting to be offended by weather, too. Snow on April 3, that was Jesus' April Fools Day joke. But big snow dump on April 15 and the subsequent flurries on 16, 17 (and forecast for 18 as well), that isn't funny anymore.

So speak up: which one of you idiots has been praying for snow in the middle of April?!?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Newspaper columnists who call our President, "Fat Donald."

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/donald-trump-officially-called-fat-donald-article-1.2792346

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

Naming babies with gender-neutral names. The first step to gender confusion is a name. Parents, don't start you child on the road to homerism:

Charlie, Landry, Skyler, Justice, Frankie, Dakota, Casey, Hayden, River, Emory, Royal, Milan, Rory, Shiloh, Riley, Alexis, Angel, Taylor, Hunter and many more.

[Jim C. Lombardo]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I admit I find myself appalled and offended by the things written by my younger self. I can still find traces of my behavior even here on God's Favorite Forum.

I found one post I made long ago, where I discussed nothing except women and farts, like some uncouth hick.



One must consider, I was still kicking my meth addiction when I first came to Landover as some will recall, and Jesus was a distant entity to me.

It goes to show, what we leave on the interwebs is permanent (Unless Jesus or a 404 error erases it); the impertinent choices made when we're young can always come back to kick us. I like to think I've become more refined and Godly since.

[BrotherLarry]

Re: What are you offended by right now?

I am offended by so many men posting in the women's prayer shack and so many women posting in the men's lounge. Can't we keep the gender races separate? Let's fellowship in the open forums, but keep the testosterosterine in one corner and the estrogenesterone in the other.


Mixing those chemicals too closely can degenerate the soul.