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  • GOD=life
    WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
    True Christian™
    • Jan 2010
    • 3263
    #151
    Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

    Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
    You don't have the right to try and force other people to believe in whatever religion you do and nobody else has the right to force you to believe theirs.
    Correction, friend: the government has no right. Read the 1st amendment again. Does the Constitution say that Pastor Ezekiel has no such right.........? No. The Pastor is not the government...

    But I concur with Brother Disciple: this is a painful issue for us and we would like to deal with this as a community. A community under God's bright light.

    You seem to be the type of person who goes to a funeral and starts arguments with the grieving widow about the flower arrangement.
    I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

    Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
    Matthew 7:22     Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
    Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

    Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

      Comment

      • Mike Gerrard
        Unsaved trash
        • Jan 2010
        • 32
        #152
        Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

        Originally posted by GOD=life View Post
        Correction, friend: the government has no right. Read the 1st amendment again. Does the Constitution say that Pastor Ezekiel has no such right.........? No. The Pastor is not the government...

        But I concur with Brother Disciple: this is a painful issue for us and we would like to deal with this as a community. A community under God's bright light.

        You seem to be the type of person who goes to a funeral and starts arguments with the grieving widow about the flower arrangement.
        Only if the flowers spat on you their entire life...
        God has a rap sheet

          Comment

          • Cranky Old Man
            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
            You kids get off his lawn!
             
            • Jan 2010
            • 22373
            #153
            Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

            Originally posted by ThrustingBoy View Post
            But the point is that he had no right to attack this person
            He did not attack. He tried to save his soul. Unfortunately some atheists working for Satan, who will no doubt burn in hell for this, tried to stop him.
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78555
                #154
                Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                Good news, everybody: I'm a FREE MAN AGAIN!

                I have been released, all the charges have been dropped and I have a written apology from the Mayor of De Moines, the chief of police, and the witch whose head I bashed in with my steel-plated KJV Bible (which proves how miraculous God is, because the boy is still in a coma!).

                I want to thank all the Prayer Warriors for your unending efforts on my behalf. The 7 Rams Horns blaring outside the jail seems to have done the trick along with the donation an anonymous donor made to a certain judge's retirement fund.

                Let all the witches, queers and demons who haunt the streets of Iowa be on notice: Pastor Ezekiel Flint is protected by JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF and all of the resources and strength of His favorite church (Landover Baptist!) and is therefore INVINCIBLE!!
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Cranky Old Man
                    Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
                    You kids get off his lawn!
                     
                    • Jan 2010
                    • 22373
                    #155
                    Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                    Good news, everybody: I'm a FREE MAN AGAIN!
                    That is very good news! Praise the LORD!
                    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                      Comment

                      • HTannor
                        America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
                        True Christian™
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 2612
                        #156
                        Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                        Shout Glory!!!
                        The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

                        "Credo elvem etiam vivere"

                          Comment

                          • James Dewitt
                            #63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
                            • Jan 2010
                            • 6267
                            #157
                            Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                            Praise Jesus, Pastor Ezekiel is a free man! Let it be known Jesus is by his and will not be kept down by the Ungodly Liberals.

                              Comment

                              • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                                Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                                One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                                Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                                True Christian™
                                • Dec 2006
                                • 12414
                                #158
                                Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                HALLELUJAH!!! Once again we have 100% incontrovertible proof that PRAYER WORKS!!! When will the atheisn'ts finally give up their God-denying folly and accept the facts?!?

                                Anyway, welcome back, Pastor Zeke!
                                Posted via Prayer

                                1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                                Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                                Blogging for CHRIST!
                                Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                                All a-Twitter for Salvation!
                                Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
                                On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
                                My Ladies of Landover profile!

                                  Comment

                                  • Gabriel Reproba
                                    Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                                    The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Nov 2009
                                    • 2479
                                    #159
                                    Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                    Thank goodness! I have been working all night on the motion you requested that I file. (The one that asks a judge to order you out of solitary and into the cell with other inmates so you could preach the word of God to them, especially the queers.) I am glad we do not need to file it anymore...unless you want to sue for the right to go into the jail every once in a while and preach to the queers?

                                    Now I have to ask you a question...

                                    The ADA was threatening getting the feds involved and having them charging you and LBC with RICO violations due to all of the past "issues" that HE claims ALLEGEDLY constitutes a "pattern" of "racketeering" "activity." Did your "apology" cover that?
                                    Yours In Christ,

                                    Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                                    Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                                    Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                                    Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                                    The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                                    Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                                    How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                                    20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                                    God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                                    Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                                    Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                                    Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                                    There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                                    Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                                    Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                                      Comment

                                      • Noah Dint
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Dec 2009
                                        • 695
                                        #160
                                        Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                        Prayer works. Period.

                                        Somebody shout Glory!

                                        -ND

                                          Comment

                                          • GOD=life
                                            WARNING: Do not attempt to debate. You will lose horribly.
                                            True Christian™
                                            • Jan 2010
                                            • 3263
                                            #161
                                            Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                            Originally posted by Noah Dint View Post
                                            Somebody shout Glory!
                                            GLORY!!!
                                            I take my orders from Jesus H. Christ, supernatural born US citizen

                                            Be wary of false Kumbaya Christians who use a highlighter and scissors to read the Bible. God wants us to read the lines, not between the lines. False Christians will go to Hell:
                                            Matthew 7:22                                             Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
                                            Matthew 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

                                            Asking a Christian to prove God exists is like asking him to prove his phone rings because yours doesn't. Make that call yourself! Dial 0800-get-on-your-knees-and-pray.

                                              Comment

                                              • SUV
                                                True Christian™ Princess
                                                The Driving Force behind RA12
                                                Have at it, anytime!
                                                • Sep 2006
                                                • 11027
                                                #162
                                                Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                                HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST!!!

                                                Pastor Ezekiel, might I get off my knees now? The stress is intense and I really don't wish to begin in "tongues"

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Aristotle
                                                    On the straight and narrow path to Heaven.
                                                    True Christian™
                                                    • Nov 2009
                                                    • 470
                                                    #163
                                                    Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                                    Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
                                                    HALLELUJAH!!! Once again we have 100% incontrovertible proof that PRAYER WORKS!!! When will the atheisn'ts finally give up their God-denying folly and accept the facts?!?

                                                    Anyway, welcome back, Pastor Zeke!
                                                    James 5:16

                                                    "The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

                                                      Comment

                                                      • Bobby-Joe
                                                        Landover Security Superviser
                                                        Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                                                        NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                                                        True Christian™
                                                        • Sep 2006
                                                        • 18405
                                                        #164
                                                        Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                                        Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                        Good news, everybody: I'm a FREE MAN AGAIN!

                                                        I have been released, all the charges have been dropped and I have a written apology from the Mayor of De Moines, the chief of police, and the witch whose head I bashed in with my steel-plated KJV Bible (which proves how miraculous God is, because the boy is still in a coma!).
                                                        Welcome back to the world Pastor Zeke. I got to say you looked rather chipper and happy when we picked you up at the county jail. Very impressive for someone who has been in the lions den, so to say. The smile on your face was very moving Pastor. All an example of the Protection of the Lord(r) you move under.

                                                        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                                                        Hot Must ReadThreads!


                                                        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                                                          Comment

                                                          • Mistress Cookie
                                                            Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                                            True Christian™
                                                            • Jul 2008
                                                            • 6790
                                                            #165
                                                            Re: URGENT!!! PRAY FOR PASTOR ZEKE TO GET OUT OF JAIL!!!

                                                            I am so pleased that our dear Pastor has been released!

                                                            There is Justice(tm)!

                                                            I'd like to invite the Menfolk to my house this evening for a special Righteous Rest and Recovery Night, where we can process what you've all been through in these last trying days. There will be a Swedish smorgasbord theme and a champagne bath.

                                                            You've all earned it, and it's my pleasure to support our troops.

                                                              Comment

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