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  • Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

    Brothers,

    I am as guilty as anyone of accepting and embracing modern convenience. For most of my life, I have done my business within the porcelain bowl.

    But I read my Holy Bible every night, and realized just now that I am not doing what God commands.

    Sure, it's easy enough to sit and extrude fecal matter into a city sewer. Could be three feet of solid, dark-brown sausages. Or it could just as well be an explosion of mudslides in any conceivable color. Yellow, tan, light brown. And sometimes it takes many trips to expel the excrement.

    I have been wrong.

    Deuteronomy 23:

    10 If there be among you any man, that is not clean by reason of uncleanness that chanceth him by night, then shall he go abroad out of the camp, he shall not come within the camp:


    11 But it shall be, when evening cometh on, he shall wash himself with water: and when the sun is down, he shall come into the camp again.

    12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:

    13 And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:

    14 For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.


    The very last thing I want is for my God and Jesus to turn away from me.

    I plan to do my business in the backyard from now on. Your thoughts?

    In Christ
    Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

    sigpic

  • #2
    Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

    I wish one of the Pastors commented on this, but can the sewer system be interpreted as a form of covering the poopoo?

    Because to me the most important part of this passage is the explanation why:

    Deuteronomy 23:
    14 For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

    God doesn't want to see our poopoo when He walks among us. I mean, can you imagine how bad would it be, if He was coming to give up our enemies before us, and accidentally stepped in our poopoo?!
    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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    • #3
      Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

      I know some of the wealthier more blessed citizens of Freehold have their house staff remove the contents of the chamber pot and bury it in what was once the old immigrant and Jewish ghetto, but we can't afford that ourselves, what with so many mouths to feed. I'll tell you, emptying the chamber pots of a house with so many children in it is a fantastically motivating "natural consequence" for any undesired behavior! Having children can be very handy.
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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      • #4
        Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

        Honestly, I don't think it is that big of a deal. God only said this because at the time, that was the cleanest way of doing your business. But now that technology has advanced, I think God would want us to use the toilet.

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        • #5
          Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

          I think God would want us to use the toilet.
          Biblical evidence, please?
          God is about as real as unicorns and dragons.
          Revelation 12:9
          Job 39:9

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          • #6
            Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

            Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
            I plan to do my business in the backyard from now on. Your thoughts?
            If you'll pardon me for posting in the Men Only! section of the forums, Brother, my dear husband Matthew has asked me to give you his thoughts on this (fecal) matter - his little joke there.

            We aren't connected to the city sewer - that would just be disgusting and unhygienic, as who knows what unspeakable things could come up through the pipes. Instead we have a septic tank, which processes family waste matter and returns it to God's Good Earth. Any residual solid matter is removed as and when necessary by professional solid-matter-removers. There is a separate septic tank for the staff quarters, obviously. I have no idea what happens to the residue from that - as far as I know, it has never been emptied.

            We don't actually need to dig a hole every time. On the principle of "Why keep a dog and bark yourself?", the (in this case) multiple holes have been pre-dug by professional hole-diggers. My husband is a busy man and doesn't have the time to be digging in the grounds twice a day. Plus, he says, what with 9 children it would absolutely ruin the lawns.

            YiC
            Joanna
            Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

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            • #7
              Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

              Originally posted by Jacob Cushman View Post
              Honestly, I don't think it is that big of a deal. God only said this because at the time, that was the cleanest way of doing your business. But now that technology has advanced, I think God would want us to use the toilet.
              Thank you for your opinion. As Unsaved Trash, it is worthless conjecture and subsequently discarded without a second thought.

              My CONCERN is that Jesus and God might turn away from me for not following His command. He did not say to mindlessly sit on a toilet and flush away my excrement without a care in the world.

              More so, He wants us to be sure we know how disgusting His Creation is when we extrude filthy logs of waste, rich in fecal coliform and disease.

              Indeed, we are to be shameful whenever we pinch a loaf or slide out a steamer. A load expelled from the rectum and anus needs to forever be hidden in the Earth to please Him.

              Kindly read the Scripture, for comprehension.

              In Christ
              Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

              sigpic

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              • #8
                Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

                Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post

                Deuteronomy 23:

                10 If there be among you any man, that is not clean by reason of uncleanness that chanceth him by night, then shall he go abroad out of the camp, he shall not come within the camp:


                11 But it shall be, when evening cometh on, he shall wash himself with water: and when the sun is down, he shall come into the camp again.

                12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:

                13 And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
                Dear Brother Porter - it strikes me that The Lord is commanding us to do this only when camping and then only when abroad. Obviously I am merely a lowly hanger on to God's chosen flock, so I really should concentrate on reading more and talking less. But camping does seem to be an important component in fully grasping your passage, here.
                If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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                • #9
                  Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

                  Buried my stool in my neighbours garden last night. I even got a small adrenaline rush when one of his lights went on while I was digging. Then I realised it was one of those lights that activate when something moves.

                  Anyway, I guess God is fine with it since his cat buries her stool in my garden.
                  -The Parable of the white laundry and the black man
                  -Scientific proof that GAY SEX IS UNHYGIENIC!
                  -Holocaust Jokes
                  -Diarrhea: The Va​ginal Lubrication of the Homosexuals
                  -Anne Frank vs. Adolf Hitler: Who was the worse person?
                  -10 Reasons why GOD HATES FRANCE!
                  -5 Reasons why GOD HATES LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!
                  -Today I am declaring War against Woman's Rights!

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                  • #10
                    Re: Do You Bury Your Stool As Commanded?

                    Originally posted by Titus Templeton View Post
                    Buried my stool in my neighbours garden last night. I even got a small adrenaline rush when one of his lights went on while I was digging. Then I realised it was one of those lights that activate when something moves.

                    Anyway, I guess God is fine with it since his cat buries her stool in my garden.
                    Brother, we are all blessed when something moves - it is the way of the Lord.
                    Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                    brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                    ...and get off my lawn
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