[James Hutchins]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

A few 'insiders' are aware one of my boys (Paul, I think is his name, who can keep track) has taken a particular 'interest' in his 'thing'. I tried all the normal methods to get him to stop. Nothing worked. Even having him stand naked on the side of the road holding a sign over his head "I am a chronic masturbator".
After re-roofing one of the out buildings that house part of my classic Harley collection, it came to me as as a divine inspiration. I looked at my worn and reddened hands torn up from handling the shingles. I had the solution! I coated the boys hands in contact adhesive and had the child hold his hands deep in a can of crushed beer bottle glass. After an hour, I let him take his hands out.
I'll report back tomorrow but I think we have a good hand on this problem!

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Children masturbating is one of the chief problems facing America today!

Masturbation leads to homosexuality, depravity, or worse, furryism!

Masturbation is nothing less than child molestation. Your son is having sex with a minor, himself!

Parents should not be afraid of beating the masturbation demon out of thier sons!

[Alterboy]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

When I feel the temptation to fornicate with myself I take a long, icy shower until my private parts retract. It helps. As such, I have never masturbated.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

A quick update on the situation with the ex-masturbating cripple down the road.

His family have been joyously telling all the neighbours that they are going to be put on the list for revolutionary experimental stem cell surgery to repair his spine.

How many abominations at once can these devils contemplate? First of all he's bound to start his self manipulation again if it succeeds and also the brains of dead babies or something are used in this stem cell stuff. GW Bush himself was set against it so it must be evil.

How can I stop this horror from happening and God's will being thwarted by these evil people?

Please, prayer warriors, let's get together on this one.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Here's a powerful new video that is sure to help stop anyone from wanting to spill their seed.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Just look at the depravity masturbation brings. THIS perverted Kiwi was caught spanking his monkey on the train...and he was the conductor!

Train driver caught masturbating during “delay”

A TRAIN DRIVER on Melbourne’s Sunbury line was caught masturbating in the driver’s cabin after he told passengers there would be a “short delay”.

At 9.31am Monday, the Sunbury train departed Flinders Street. As the train approached Southern Cross, the train had stopped, and the driver announced “There will be a short delay”. Rosie Williams, 24 was already late to work due to a previous delay on her connecting Hurstbridge line, and she became impatient.

“He didn’t say how long the delay would be or why there is one, so we were waiting for a good five minutes. I lost my temper.”

Williams reports that she approached ticket inspectors on the train to see if they could resolve the cause of the delay.

The inspectors had entered the driver’s cabin and found Ian Higgins, 34, masturbating. He was completely naked.

Inspectors ordered him to put his clothes back on and arrive at Southern Cross, where they would call the police and have him arrested. Inspector Dale Rob said that what he saw was “disgusting”.

“Clearly these drivers think they can stop the trains whenever they like and conduct whatever business they like, and say it’s a ‘delay’. What passenger is going to know?

We’ve caught drivers stopping trains just to have a cigarette out the window of the cabin.”

[joshkini]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

PRAISE JESUS!

I have been praying for months for Him to do something about the masturbating little freak that lives just down our road. I see him stroking cats to lure them back into his bedroom for bestiality. He walks past our house and looks lustfully on my car, coveting it. And I saw him look on my wife once and undress her with his eyes. I only need to close my eyes and the image of them coupling like sweaty beasts fills my mind.

Anyway, naturally I would think any True Christian™ would have little problem imagining this sinful wretch lying on his bed surrounded by tissues choking the chicken. His face straining with sinful thoughts of ravaging my wife and the daughter of Mr Swallow down the road with her comely breasts and low cut top. He must be hardly able to keep his eyes off the little slut.

Well my prayers to stop his onanism were answered last night. There was a police car round at his house. When I inquired it would seem that he was in a car accident earlier that evening and has been paralysed from the chest down. No more engorged tallywackers for that kid!

GLORY!

Well you complete sick in the head nutcase. You're celebrating a childs injury. Tell me where you live and Ill get to work on you with bolt cutters and Ill make you realise your 'God' cannot help you. And if I'm not mistaken you're an English man so get running because Ill find you. But you being in my country does help a bit.

[Talitha]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Well you complete sick in the head nutcase. You're celebrating a childs injury. Tell me where you live and Ill get to work on you with bolt cutters and Ill make you realise your 'God' cannot help you. And if I'm not mistaken you're an English man so get running because Ill find you. But you being in my country does help a bit.

Friend, making threats is breaking the law.
Your IP address has been given to the DOF. Be ready for a knock on your door.

God Bless.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Well you complete sick in the head nutcase. You're celebrating a childs injury. Tell me where you live and Ill get to work on you with bolt cutters and Ill make you realise your 'God' cannot help you. And if I'm not mistaken you're an English man so get running because Ill find you. But you being in my country does help a bit.

Why are atheists so hateful? Were you abused, or something? Jesus can heal your soul, if you let Him come inside of you.

YIC

[joshkini]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Why are atheists so hateful? Were you abused, or something? Jesus can heal your soul, if you let Him come inside of you.

YIC

I thought letting christians come in you was one of the main reasons people hate christianity. Were not hateful. I love the world. I love gays. I love blacks. I love everyone apart from people who wish harm to others. This sick man celebrated the paralysing of an innocent child. I used to be a christian you know. I used to be in the choir and pray daily. I attended a church school. But people who post stuff like this and preach stuff like this has put me off religion for life.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

I thought letting christians come in you was one of the main reasons people hate christianity.

You don't let other Christians come in you, you let Jesus come in you. Goodness, you make it sound so dirty. Why do all atheists have to be so perverted?

Were not hateful. I love the world. I love gays. I love blacks. I love everyone apart from people who wish harm to others. This sick man celebrated the paralysing of an innocent child.

No dear, this man is celebrating the potential Salvation of a Sinner! Is there anything more wonderful, more fantastic, more loving, than bringing or witnessing one coming to Christ? Even the very angels cannot keep in their glee! (Luke 15:10)

I used to be a christian you know. I used to be in the choir and pray daily. I attended a church school. But people who post stuff like this and preach stuff like this has put me off religion for life.

And so because you never actually read the Holy Bible or believed what the LORD wrote between the covers, you spend your life trying to deny the Perfect Christ the soul that is so special to Him?

Son, why not try again? Why not read the Holy Bible, open your heart, Hear the divine knocking of the Sweet Redeemer upon your door?

joshkini, answer the door

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

I thought letting christians come in you was one of the main reasons people hate christianity. Were not hateful. I love the world. I love gays. I love blacks. I love everyone apart from people who wish harm to others. This sick man celebrated the paralysing of an innocent child. I used to be a christian you know. I used to be in the choir and pray daily. I attended a church school. But people who post stuff like this and preach stuff like this has put me off religion for life.

I'm guessing you were a damned papist, not an actual Christian. No True Christian™ would ever say they love a queer.

Lev.20:13
If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

I thought letting christians come in you was one of the main reasons people hate christianity. Were not hateful. I love the world. I love gays. I love blacks. I love everyone apart from people who wish harm to others. This sick man celebrated the paralysing of an innocent child. I used to be a christian you know. I used to be in the choir and pray daily. I attended a church school. But people who post stuff like this and preach stuff like this has put me off religion for life.

That's your problem. You love the world, a thing God condemns in so many words...

"15Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. 17And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever." (I John 2:15-17)

When you stop thinking practically and start thinking biblically, you'll realize why God has entrusted us to call out the darkies and homers who are ruining everything. We are commanded to extricate our fellow man in the interests of the Preservation of Truth™. That is straight from God, friend. No one can change it.

But I guess you have given up and let the unfaithfulness of others put you off from embracing The Truth™. You have let others snatch away your salvation. So be it. It isn't my soul.

Regretfully,

Pastor Ed

[Sam Spade]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Lets say that you are married, but your wife lives in another state. Is it ok then?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

Lets say that you are married, but your wife lives in another state. Is it ok then?

No.

If you had a proper male Pastor, you might know this. I can only imagine what she's filled your head with.