[Steve]

Re: Manly Jokes

A few minutes before the services started, the church people were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil one. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, unconcerned to the fact that mankind’s enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the old man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?” The man replied, “Yep, your Satan.” “Aren’t you afraid of me?” Satan asked. “No, sure ain’t” said the man. “Don’t you realize what I can do to you?” asked Satan. “I know what you can do to me,” replied the old man. “And you’re still not afraid?” asked Satan. “Nope.” A little perturbed, Satan asked, “Well, why aren’t you afraid of me?” The man calmly replied, “Well, I’ve been married to your sister for over 48 years.”

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

I cannot simply read this and not comment how I feel it is sinful. I promise that I am not trying to boss anyone about and I am sorry you feel that way.

That wasn't very funny.

Try again.

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

Instead of coming in here and trying to boss people around, how about telling a joke of your own? One that you feel God would approve of, naturally.

I cannot simply read this and not comment how I feel it is sinful. I promise that I am not trying to boss anyone about and I am sorry you feel that way.

[Steve]

Re: Manly Jokes

I find this thread disgusting. To joke about the sin of abusing a woman is not righteous. Somehow I don't think God will find these jokes funny. I pray that God works in all of your hearts.

What sin? The man is the woman's boss and if she disobeys him she is sinning. The 'abuse' as you call it, is simply correction.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord

1st Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

Yes, have laughter of course. But not at the exspense of others or of sin.

Instead of coming in here and trying to boss people around, how about telling a joke of your own? One that you feel God would approve of, naturally.

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

Don't be such a wet blanket. God told us we are to have some laughter in our lives:

(Ecclesiastes 3:4) "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."

Yes, have laughter of course. But not at the exspense of others or of sin.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

I find this thread disgusting. To joke about the sin of abusing a woman is not righteous. Somehow I don't think God will find these jokes funny. I pray that God works in all of your hearts.

Don't be such a wet blanket. God told us we are to have some laughter in our lives:

(Ecclesiastes 3:4) "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."

[AdamE135]

Re: Manly Jokes

Since we are alone here, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite jokes with you guys. Feel free to post your own.

Q: What do 10,000 "abused" women have in common?

A: They just wouldn't listen!



Q: What do you say to a woman with two black-eyes?

A: Nothing - you already told her twice!...


Q: Whats the first thing a beaten wife should do after coming back from hospital after the last "incident"?

A: The dishes if she know's whats good for her.

I find this thread disgusting. To joke about the sin of abusing a woman is not righteous. Somehow I don't think God will find these jokes funny. I pray that God works in all of your hearts.

[Liam the ex-drunk]

Re: Manly Jokes

Painting the Church

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but the Local Landover Baptist Church mission centre decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so competitive, he got the job. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with white spirit.

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the building and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.



Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"



And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke......

"Repaint! Repaint!

And thin nomore!"

[Jedediah]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: What does Hillary Clinton have in common with a tampon?

A: They are both stuck up cunts.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Manly Jokes

Q: Why can't Gabrielle Giffords drive?

A: Because she's a woman!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Manly Jokes

Whats 9 inches, lives in a man's pants, and girls like to blow it?



$20!







What did you think it was?

[BenLovesGod]

Re: Manly Jokes

LOL @ Tell her once award!

[proteastantguy]

Re: Manly Jokes

I could care less how life is everywhere, as long as that's how life is in my home, I'm happy.

That's fair enough

[Brother Enoch]

Re: Manly Jokes

That's why I posted it. But I wish that was life everywhere

I could care less how life is everywhere, as long as that's how life is in my home, I'm happy.