Re: Manly Jokes
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger. Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ...........
"Let's put all these Frosted flakes back in the box."
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Re: Manly Jokes
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking in his pants.
Bartender says: "Hey, buddy, do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
Pirate: "Yarrr, and its drivin me nuts!"
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by Young Zuse View PostThanks for the correction, though my spelling should probably be the least of your concerns... Also the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse, so this spelling will work for me...AND Azhalerazuse is ananagarm for Ales Are Huzza
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Re: Manly Jokes
What does a True Christian wife get from her husband on Valentines Day?
Beaten
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by Young Zuse View Post...Also the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse, so this spelling will work for me...
If you're done with your laughably futile threats and ITG act, how about going to the introduction forum? Please follow the easy instructions visible at the top of every page there.
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by Young Zuse View PostAlso the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse
You need to stop masturbating behind your keyboard, get a bath, get a job, buy a Bible and become a Christian!
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Re: Manly Jokes
Thanks for the correction, though my spelling should probably be the least of your concerns... Also the word "Zuse" comes from the name Azhalerazuse, so this spelling will work for me...
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Re: Manly Jokes
Originally posted by Young Zuse View PostI see you have still been spending your "time" here keeping up this "outstanding site," and in the name of a man who has already given you "fair warning" about what it is you are doing and a more than reasonable amount of time to stop... I don't know if you believe that this is a joke, or if your actions here are a result of an alterior motive that has gotten out of hand, but I am only going to say this one last time; if you are going to preach hate to people here, do so knowing that anybody who would like to find out where you live will be able to do so in the very near future, I will make sure of this... You speak of "hell" here to so many people, I can personally assure you that there will be one specifically designed for the actions you have taken and continue to take during your time here if you fail to start making the right choices...
ps: it's "Zeus" and "ulterior".
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Re: Manly Jokes
I see you have still been spending your "time" here keeping up this "outstanding site," and in the name of a man who has already given you "fair warning" about what it is you are doing and a more than reasonable amount of time to stop... I don't know if you believe that this is a joke, or if your actions here are a result of an alterior motive that has gotten out of hand, but I am only going to say this one last time; if you are going to preach hate to people here, do so knowing that anybody who would like to find out where you live will be able to do so in the very near future, I will make sure of this... You speak of "hell" here to so many people, I can personally assure you that there will be one specifically designed for the actions you have taken and continue to take during your time here if you fail to start making the right choices...
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Re: Manly Jokes
I heard this one from my barber.
A buck nigra takes a White girl home from a nightclub.
She says, "Show me if it's true what they say about black men".
So he stabs her & takes her purse.
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Re: Manly Jokes
I once failed a math quiz. The question that tripped me up was: what comes after 69. Apparently mouthwash was the wrong answer.
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Re: Manly Jokes
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: “TWO PROSTITUTES — $50.00.”
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: “JESUS SAVES.”
One of the girls asked the cop, “Why don’t you stop them?!”
“Well, that’s a little different,” the cop smiled. “Their sign pertains to religion.”
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read:
“TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER — $50.00.”
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Re: Manly Jokes
Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave's wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy followed him and asked, "Did you see anything under the table that you liked?" Jeff admitted, "Well, yes I did." She said "you can have it, but it will cost you $100." After a minute or two, Jeff indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Dave works Friday afternoons and Jeff doesn't, that Jeff should come to their house around 2:00 PM on Friday.
Friday came and Jeff went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her the $100, they went to the bedroom, had sex for a few hours and then Jeff left.
Dave came home about 6:00 PM and asked his wife, "Did Jeff come by this afternoon?" Totally shocked, Sandy replied, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes." Next Dave asked, "Did Jeff give you $100?" Sandy thought, 'Oh hell, he knows!' reluctantly she said, "Yes, he did give me $100." "Good," Dave says. "Jeff came by the office this morning and borrowed the $100 from me and said that he'd stop by our house on his way home and pay me back. It's so good to have a friend you can trust."
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Re: Manly Jokes
A man went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather and while eating the breakfast of eggs and bacon prepared for him, he noticed a film-like substance on his plate. So he says, "Grandfather, are these plates clean?"His grandfather replies, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed many little black specks around the edge of his plate, so again he asked, "Grandfather are you sure these plates are clean?"Without looking up from his burger, the grandfather says, "I told you those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them, now don't ask me about it anymore."Well, later that day, they were on their way out to get dinner. As he was leaving the house, Grandfather's dog who was lying on the floor started to growl and would not let him pass. "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out," mentioned the grandson.Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching, his grandfather shouted, "Coldwater, get your butt out of the way!"
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