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  • #61
    Re: Men, I have to admit something

    Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
    Have I entered some alternate universe where most of my beloved brothers are really going to HELL for being depraved perverts?
    Sister, you're right. Something is seriously wrong here. We should pray to the Blessed Virgin to put a stop to it.
    This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

    Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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    • #62
      Re: Men, I have to admit something

      Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
      Sister, you're right. Something is seriously wrong here. We should pray to the Blessed Virgin to put a stop to it.
      Pray to Mary and not to Jesus?
      Matthew:
      5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
      5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
      10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
      10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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      • #63
        Re: Men, I have to admit something

        Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
        Sister, you're right. Something is seriously wrong here. We should pray to the Blessed Virgin to put a stop to it.
        Why do you pray to dead people?

        I suppose you drink weak wine and call it blood too? Do Goths grow up to become Catholics?
        Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

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        • #64
          Re: Men, I have to admit something

          Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
          I tried to be straight, but no woman would have me. Then I tried to be gay, but no man would have me.

          So I settled for bestiality and married an eskimo.
          You never asked me!

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          • #65
            Re: Men, I have to admit something

            ROTLWJ!!!!!!!

            I really had you all going ! April Fool!!!!!


            The clue should have been I don't even live in Landover, yet. There is a rumor about a school posistion opening up.
            Matthew:
            5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
            5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
            10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
            10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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            • #66
              Re: Men, I have to admit something

              OOOOH! Yoooouuuuu!

              I really did marry an eskimo though.

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              • #67
                Re: Men, I have to admit something

                Originally posted by eliot mayfield View Post
                ROTLWJ!!!!!!!

                I really had you all going ! April Fool!!!!!

                The clue should have been I don't even live in Landover, yet. There is a rumor about a school posistion opening up.
                Sweet Lord Jesus,
                I want to pray for those who persecute me, my Lord.
                Please, treat their children as you treated those of Egypt, when they upset you! (Psalm 135:8-9)
                Dash their little children against the stones for their fathers iniquity! (Psalm 137:8-9)
                Hit them on the cheek, and smash out their teeth! (Psalm 3:7)
                Make their death and descent into Hell swift and terrible! (Psalm 55:15)
                Scatter their broken bodies over the streets of their evil cities, like Benghazi, Amsterdam, Tokyo and Mecca! (Psalm 110:6)
                Praised be Your Glorious Name™.

                Amen.

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                • #68
                  Re: Men, I have to admit something

                  Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
                  OOOOH! Yoooouuuuu!

                  I really did marry an eskimo though.
                  Was she sober at the time?
                  Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.

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                  • #69
                    Re: Men, I have to admit something

                    Originally posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
                    Don't you DARE tell us to Get Used To It, Eliot! This is a disgrace!
                    Yeah you go eliot baby... see you tonight.. around 8.. bring plenty of lube okay.. cya dole face.. love you <3<3 xxxxoooo ARRGH (orgasms)

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                    • #70
                      Re: Men, I have to admit something

                      What, WHAT?!?! I think I'm going to retract what I wrote earlier about the barber if this is just a joke.
                      May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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                      • #71
                        Re: Men, I have to admit something

                        Originally posted by TheProdigy View Post
                        Yeah you go eliot baby... see you tonight.. around 8.. bring plenty of lube okay.. cya dole face.. love you <3<3 xxxxoooo ARRGH (orgasms)
                        Disturbing. What's a 'dole face'?
                        True Christians are Perfect!

                        Signs that you belong to a FALSE Christian Church.

                        Persecution You Have Endured for CHRIST: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger in Christ.

                        For True Christians™ only: please send me Project Habakkuk updates at gertruderogers@landoverbaptist.net. Thank you.

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                        • #72
                          Re: Men, I have to admit something

                          Eliot, if that wasn't you at the town square, who WAS the DOF's ex-Negro-in-Training crew gang-raping the gay out of, Muslim-style?

                          Did Beaux get back to town or something? And is he now straight? Did it at least work?

                          Maybe something good came out of this after all.

                          I'll be sending Landover its cut of the pay-per-view income as soon as the credit card processing is complete! We had over 100,000 viewers, and Lord knows how many will be coming to Jesus!
                          Bible boring? Nonsense!
                          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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