Originally posted by Cranky Old Man
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Valve Portal 2 is a video game unlike any other game. Most games have the decency to give you a machine gun so you can start shooting Muslims, democrats or whatever terrorists are called nowadays. With Portal 2 you get to kill no one. After getting stuck at 32% for ages all you do is fiddle with lasers and getting thrown around by jump platforms. It's amazing someone even bothered to make it.
Insulting GOD with techno-magical mumbo-jumbo.
With Portal 2 you have a special "gun" which you can use to create two types of portals. A gay blue one and an even more gay orange one. The portals are connected with each other, whatever enters a portal, leaves the other one. In other words Valve reinvented something also known as a door. My house has several of those. Yet somehow people pay money for this nonsense.
Whatever enters one portal, leaves the other one.
Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts. Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create! Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!
Jesus clearly would not like this as He hates magic! (Deuteronomy 18:9-12)
Dooming your innocent child to HELL!
Like most video games, Portal 2 will do everything in its power to doom your innocent child to the eternal fires of Hell! There is nothing more important in a child's life than loving Jesus and Jesus loving them back. One of the very evil elements of Portal 2 is the "companion cube". Apparently they realize girls who play video games will never get boyfriends. Portal 2 teaches children to forget about Jesus and to worship the companion cube instead! Jesus clearly does not approve! Jesus wants us to love only Him and no one else! John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
Children and young women learn to love the companion cube:
Filling your child's mind with SEX, SEX and SEX!
Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone. This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.
Portal 2 promotes people to have sex with themselves:
Teaching your child that lying is OK!
Portal 2 does nothing but lie over and over again to the player. Teaching innocent children that there is nothing wrong with lying. The biggest lie being the constant promise of cake (a miserable excuse for a decent Christian American pie) which is never actually delivered, they probably hired Federal Express. Your child will cry a lot while playing this game. God hates liars: Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."
The cake is a lie. No decent Christian woman would ever create such a monstrosity.
Stealing your credit card information.
Portal 2 can only be bought online with something called "Steam". Steam is the most hacked online system in existence. Even a child can hack into Steam and steal credit card information of everyone who ever bought something with it! Most of these thieves are called indies. Somehow these people from India all use Steam to steal money from hard working Americans.
Insulting GOD with techno-magical mumbo-jumbo.
With Portal 2 you have a special "gun" which you can use to create two types of portals. A gay blue one and an even more gay orange one. The portals are connected with each other, whatever enters a portal, leaves the other one. In other words Valve reinvented something also known as a door. My house has several of those. Yet somehow people pay money for this nonsense.
Whatever enters one portal, leaves the other one.
Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts. Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create! Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!
Jesus clearly would not like this as He hates magic! (Deuteronomy 18:9-12)
Dooming your innocent child to HELL!
Like most video games, Portal 2 will do everything in its power to doom your innocent child to the eternal fires of Hell! There is nothing more important in a child's life than loving Jesus and Jesus loving them back. One of the very evil elements of Portal 2 is the "companion cube". Apparently they realize girls who play video games will never get boyfriends. Portal 2 teaches children to forget about Jesus and to worship the companion cube instead! Jesus clearly does not approve! Jesus wants us to love only Him and no one else! John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."
Children and young women learn to love the companion cube:
Filling your child's mind with SEX, SEX and SEX!
Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone. This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.
Portal 2 promotes people to have sex with themselves:
Teaching your child that lying is OK!
Portal 2 does nothing but lie over and over again to the player. Teaching innocent children that there is nothing wrong with lying. The biggest lie being the constant promise of cake (a miserable excuse for a decent Christian American pie) which is never actually delivered, they probably hired Federal Express. Your child will cry a lot while playing this game. God hates liars: Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."
The cake is a lie. No decent Christian woman would ever create such a monstrosity.
Stealing your credit card information.
Portal 2 can only be bought online with something called "Steam". Steam is the most hacked online system in existence. Even a child can hack into Steam and steal credit card information of everyone who ever bought something with it! Most of these thieves are called indies. Somehow these people from India all use Steam to steal money from hard working Americans.
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