[Redeemed Papist]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

What's with the sudden influx of gays and fag enablers trying to shock us with depravity?

Don't they realise that they're just showing why Jesus brought them here. It's to strengthen our righteousness and give them a last slender chance to not burn forever. How loving is Jesus! It's a win/win.

GLORY!

[Sadami]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Well your parents must be so proud of you.

Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Contact our team of joo accountants at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.
Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.
Praise Jesus!

Anal is were its at. I mean Jesus gave us a bum hole for a reason. And studies have shown that the male G-spot is in your rectum. So why would god create us in his own image to have a G-spot up in our bums? One word. Anal.

[Cornflakefag]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

This man can use the copy and paste feature on his computer! Congratulations, BRO.

[Patrickfromhell]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Well your parents must be so proud of you.

Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Contact our team of joo accountants at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.
Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.
Praise Jesus!

I am sorry you feel this way. Hell seems like a very pleasant place to be. I myself enjoy pain as I often take part in hardcore bondage with my partner (Did I mention we're gay?). I enjoy intense heat as I feel it creates sensual pleasures that flow deeply into my body and sooth my bones. I will tell you one thing, I will enjoy hell and at least I won't have to bring a sweater.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Hello,

I am a 16 year old who loves the devil and enjoys gay anal AND oral sex from time to time. The sperm from my gay lovers penis tastes and feels very good. I enjoy browsing your forums and am thinking about becoming a devoted gay christian. I know what you're thinking, "this is great! Another fine example to join our ranks!" However, I feel I must have you meet one condition before I join. I want to have gay sexy with every person in this thread. Yes, EVERYBODY in this thread and possibly on this entire forum. I feel if we can have gay anal sex together in a huge group orgy consisting of about 20-30 men (NO FEMALES) at a time, we can grow closer to each other and understand each other on a more intimate level. Please consider this condition so that I may join your ranks and become as loving as each of you.


Sincerely,
Gayhomoqueerguy

Well your parents must be so proud of you.

Let me explain to you how being unsaved trash works when you die.

You're dead. Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begin falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Contact our team of joo accountants at once to set up a Salvation™ guaranteeing tithing schedule.
Surrender you soul to Jesus and
JOIN US.
Praise Jesus!

[Patrickfromhell]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Hello,

I am a 16 year old who loves the devil and enjoys gay anal AND oral sex from time to time. The sperm from my gay lovers penis tastes and feels very good. I enjoy browsing your forums and am thinking about becoming a devoted gay christian. I know what you're thinking, "this is great! Another fine example to join our ranks!" However, I feel I must have you meet one condition before I join. I want to have gay sexy with every person in this thread. Yes, EVERYBODY in this thread and possibly on this entire forum. I feel if we can have gay anal sex together in a huge group orgy consisting of about 20-30 men (NO FEMALES) at a time, we can grow closer to each other and understand each other on a more intimate level. Please consider this condition so that I may join your ranks and become as loving as each of you.


Sincerely,
Gayhomoqueerguy

[Nobar King]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

How are inanimate objects gay?

There are lots of inanimate objects that are gay. Please consider the information in these threads:

• Thread: Dodge Caliber - The World's Gayest Car!
• Thread: Are Dell Computers Gay?
• Thread: Fact: Only flaming homos use Mac.
• Thread: RAPED BY VEGETERRORISM!
• Thread: SKITTLES: THE CANDY OF QUEERS! OUTRAGEOUS PERVERTED HORRORS!
• Thread: PROOF! Vegetables cause people to be GAY
• Thread: Marijuana Makes You Gay

[Stephen Hurley]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

How can you be so blind to ideas you arrogant man?
Now yes, I'm about to get abused for being a 17 year old, non-conformist Atheist, but just looking at what you have just posted; you're nothing but someone who attempts to contradict everything by using an old book.

How in the hell does this game promote anal sex? It's a goddamn game. Your objective is to walk from one side of the room to the other with the aid of portals.
The game doesn't lie to children, the game uses pretty obvious internet humour that most teenagers will understand. Does this mean that if I have a joke with you and say I will bake a cake, but don't because it was a joke; I will burn in hell for lying to you? No.
Valve doesn't steal credit card information, and it's extremely hard to hack. Valve has over 100 million users and a very strong and talented workforce. Not only would they be shut down if they were hackable, but I'm only seeing you slandering a powerful and influential company because it doesn't conform with your ideas of religion.

This is why I dislike religion. Not because of the idea's presented, but because of the way you try to hypnotise people into believing mumbo jumbo that came out of an old book which was probably wrote by a senile old man. And when people don't conform to your religion they're heavily abused and hated.. I though Christians were supposed to be accepting, kind and loving people?
I guess not.

Sure, go ahead and say I'm going to burn in hell, at least I sure as hell will not need to bring a sweater.

[cll_support]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Let's go through this one step at a time.

Insulting GOD with techno-magical mumbo-jumbo.
With Portal 2 you have a special "gun" which you can use to create two types of portals. A gay blue one and an even more gay orange one. The portals are connected with each other, whatever enters a portal, leaves the other one. In other words Valve reinvented something also known as a door. My house has several of those. Yet somehow people pay money for this nonsense.

How are inanimate objects gay? They can't be. People like it because they enjoy a challenge, if you do not like it you should have done some more research before buying it.

Ex. This coffee maker is gay! It only has a gay ON button and an even more gay OFF button. Why would someone do this when I can buy a filter and pour hot water over a filter with coffee grounds in it!

Clearly this kind of nonsense does nothing but polluting the minds of innocent children with non-biblical concepts. Portals are not in the Bible so not only do they not exist, they are impossible to create! Just thinking about how they work will turn your child into a Hell bound atheist!

There are lot's of things that are not in the bible, does that make them less real? Is space real? Is light real? There is no information to back any of this up.

Dooming your innocent child to HELL!
Like most video games, Portal 2 will do everything in its power to doom your innocent child to the eternal fires of Hell! There is nothing more important in a child's life than loving Jesus and Jesus loving them back. One of the very evil elements of Portal 2 is the "companion cube".

Blah, blah, blah.

Apparently they realize girls who play video games will never get boyfriends. Portal 2 teaches children to forget about Jesus and to worship the companion cube instead!

Does the light bulb teach you to worship electricity? No. It's a tool and it is being used.

Jesus clearly does not approve! Jesus wants us to love only Him and no one else! John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."

Is Jesus against having friends, inanimate or not? I would like some proof.

Filling your child's mind with SEX, SEX and SEX!
Portal 2 promotes new kinds of sex your innocent children didn't even knew existed. Where usually 2 people are needed to have unhealthy forms of sex like anal sex and oral sex, portal makes it possible to do all this alone. This will create fantasies in your children's minds that will haunt them forever and ever while they masturbate like wild kangaroos. Just read this fair and balanced article where actually sucking peoples asses and playing Portal 2 turn out to be the same thing.

This game does not promote sex, it promotes creative thinking, using what you have. There are no sexual references in this game. If you are finding some you are looking very, very hard.

Teaching your child that lying is OK!
Portal 2 does nothing but lie over and over again to the player. Teaching innocent children that there is nothing wrong with lying. The biggest lie being the constant promise of cake (a miserable excuse for a decent Christian American pie) which is never actually delivered, they probably hired Federal Express. Your child will cry a lot while playing this game. God hates liars: Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."

It is not teaching anyone to lie. If you would have played the game all the way through, disabling the corrupted(technically) robot, you would know that in fact the cake WAS NOT A LIE. It was simply providing you a goal despite the corrupted robot, which shall be known as "satan" throughout the rest of this post, telling you that there is no cake and there is no point in continuing in life.

Stealing your credit card information.
Portal 2 can only be bought online with something called "Steam". Steam is the most hacked online system in existence. Even a child can hack into Steam and steal credit card information of everyone who ever bought something with it! Most of these thieves are called indies. Somehow these people from India all use Steam to steal money from hard working Americans.

Nothing is safe on the internet, the internet does not believe in God or Jesus, it is again, an inanimate object. Thieves are everywhere, please do not put down a whole country for a few peoples actions.

Please reconsider your thoughts, I have responded in a polite and educated way.

P.S. Please refrain from saying any rude comments, I am simply stating what I know. If you have an argument please make an educated response.

[MyAmazingMonkeyGod]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Really though ? Its called Portal 2 because it is a sequel to the original Portal game.
By your standard everything with the number 2 must be about anal sex , so is 2 Kings about 2 gay kings going at it ? Absolutely not

Oh man you're good.

[Anaximander]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

Really though ? Its called Portal 2 because it is a sequel to the original Portal game.
By your standard everything with the number 2 must be about anal sex , so is 2 Kings about 2 gay kings going at it ? Absolutely not

[MyAmazingMonkeyGod]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/xzfzptF-eY8PBEu7sw25XDaVRhoLmTxSxFmNXxzOlwpFvUU7zRoC8Nb-NuywN0tUvQptOmk5bjrJCwEtSk9AhuwJsovUj2cYK56fwzcy19C41fOzioE

...that's just fan art...

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

What is wrong with this forum? this is the most messed up forum ever. damn christian retards. WHY DONT YOU SIT BACK AND ENJOY LIFE? God loves us no matter what we do...

What is wrong with all these angry sodomites? Most of them probably got to this thread by googling for “anal sex” not “True Christian forum”. Instead of getting all upset since they can’t find any masturbation material here, they should praise the Devine Providence for bringing them here.

God moves in a mysterious way!

[tehnoobydude]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

This was before Jesus Christ came. Shouldn't he already love us, and shouldn't he love every single sinner? If Jesus HATED sinners like you say God does, why does he try to hard to make them better? God doesn't hate sinners, he loves them. He'll still throw them in hell for punishment, but it's out of love.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: PORTAL 2: Promoting ANAL SEX and stealing credit cards!!!

What is wrong with this forum? this is the most messed up forum ever. damn christian retards. WHY DONT YOU SIT BACK AND ENJOY LIFE? God loves us no matter what we do.

Er....


Leviticus 26:14-33

14But if ye will not hearken unto me, and will not do all these commandments; 15And if ye shall despise my statutes, or if your soul abhor my judgments, so that ye will not do all my commandments, but that ye break my covenant: 16I also will do this unto you; I will even appoint over you terror, consumption, and the burning ague, that shall consume the eyes, and cause sorrow of heart: and ye shall sow your seed in vain, for your enemies shall eat it. 17And I will set my face against you, and ye shall be slain before your enemies: they that hate you shall reign over you; and ye shall flee when none pursueth you. 18And if ye will not yet for all this hearken unto me, then I will punish you seven times more for your sins. 19And I will break the pride of your power; and I will make your heaven as iron, and your earth as brass: 20And your strength shall be spent in vain: for your land shall not yield her increase, neither shall the trees of the land yield their fruits.
21And if ye walk contrary unto me, and will not hearken unto me; I will bring seven times more plagues upon you according to your sins. 22I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children, and destroy your cattle, and make you few in number; and your high ways shall be desolate.
23And if ye will not be reformed by me by these things, but will walk contrary unto me; 24Then will I also walk contrary unto you, and will punish you yet seven times for your sins. 25And I will bring a sword upon you, that shall avenge the quarrel of my covenant: and when ye are gathered together within your cities, I will send the pestilence among you; and ye shall be delivered into the hand of the enemy. 26And when I have broken the staff of your bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall deliver you your bread again by weight: and ye shall eat, and not be satisfied. 27And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me; 28Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins. 29And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat. 30And I will destroy your high places, and cut down your images, and cast your carcases upon the carcases of your idols, and my soul shall abhor you.31And I will make your cities waste, and bring your sanctuaries unto desolation, and I will not smell the savour of your sweet odours. 32And I will bring the land into desolation: and your enemies which dwell therein shall be astonished at it. 33And I will scatter you among the heathen, and will draw out a sword after you: and your land shall be desolate, and your cities waste.

God disagrees. Quite vehemently, as it happens.