X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
  • #1

    Hello from me

    Hi,
    greetings to everyone in the landoverbaptist forums. I am a 30 year old male from Finland and joined the forums to educate myself on the matters of the theory of the Christian god.

    Officially i am a a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and and its moral code is closest to my heart. On a personal level i additionally really like Norse mythology which is just cool with Thor and Valhalla etc.

    So i will do some reading and browsing in the forum and perhaps ask some questions if i get confused about some of the commandments or postulates of Christianity.
    Cheers!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Hello from me

    Originally posted by jumal_s6i_seeni View Post
    Hi,
    greetings to everyone in the landoverbaptist forums. I am a 30 year old male from Finland and joined the forums to educate myself on the matters of the theory of the Christian god.

    Officially i am a a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and and its moral code is closest to my heart. On a personal level i additionally really like Norse mythology which is just cool with Thor and Valhalla etc.

    So i will do some reading and browsing in the forum and perhaps ask some questions if i get confused about some of the commandments or postulates of Christianity.
    Cheers!
    Hello, and welcome to our forums, jumal_s6i_seeni. I have high hopes for you! I can feel the Holy Ghost moving in my spirit when I pray for you! I feel all warm and peaceful, but not just peaceful you know? Euphoric! Yes! That's it! I feel the Presence of Christ reaching out to you and I know that you will one day accept Him as your Lord and Master! And so I Praise Him Today, this very Anniversary of the day in which you made Him kill Himself, I will Praise and Glorify Him for Saving you! It may not be today, but that's okay. My prayer need not be lined up with the timeline you and I know. Jesus lives outside of time, you see, and I thoroughly believe I am feeling the rejoicing of countless angels in the future (our future, yours and mine, not Jesus', remember?) because you will be counted among the Lost who were Found (Luke 15:10)!


    Glory!
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Hello from me

      Why Thor and Van Halen? Didn't you Fingerlings have forty of 50 unpronounceable gods and spooks of your own before Christianity came along and civilized you?
      Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Hello from me

        Brother Des, I don't think the Finnish people have any culture of their own, which is why they have to adopt other people's. In that respect they are very like New Zealanders.

        Hello Mr Seeni, and a very warm welcome to the forums! Do tell us all about the moral code of your so-called church and how, specifically, it differs from True Christianity™ as set out in the Holy Bible (King James Version, 1611).
        Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Hello from me

          Dear jumal_s6i_seeni,

          If you are to remain a guest on God's favorite Forum, I suggest that you start meekly and not by sending numerous requests to the Pastors.

          I was not please at all to receive your request for a "picture of Jesus on a scooter."

          It so happens that I have such a picture but, be warned, I will not be so accommodating in the future.

          Click image for larger version Name: Jesus.jpg Views: 1 Size: 63.6 KB ID: 1921906
          sigpic


          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

          Author of such illuminating essays as,
          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Hello from me

            Originally posted by jumal_s6i_seeni View Post
            Hi,
            greetings to everyone in the landoverbaptist forums. I am a 30 year old male from Finland and joined the forums to educate myself on the matters of the theory of the Christian god.

            Officially i am a a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and and its moral code is closest to my heart. On a personal level i additionally really like Norse mythology which is just cool with Thor and Valhalla etc.
            I must repeat after the others: why Norse mythology? Why don't you like Ukko and Väinämöinen?

            So i will do some reading and browsing in the forum and perhaps ask some questions if i get confused about some of the commandments or postulates of Christianity.
            Cheers!
            That's very nice. You can start by reading the Holy Bible; if you do that you'll be already better than millions of false Christians who claim to follow the Bible but have never actually read it. It's really sad; I bet that we'd have much less religious conflicts if more people actually read the Bible rather than accept what their pastor says about it.
            God created fossils to test our faith.

            * * *

            My favorite LBC sermons:
            True Christians are Perfect!
            True Christian™ Love.
            Salvation™ made Easy!
            You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
            Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
            Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
             Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
            Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
            The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
            Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
            God HATES Rational Thinking!
            True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Hello from me

              Greetings, Jumal. I am a Pastafarian as well. I have heard that in your country, they force all young men to kill people. Is that true?

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Hello from me

                Welcome, Jumal. We don't get many participants from your part of Sweden. Also, your name seems a little different. I have heard that Eskimos are very taken with spaghetti, owing to the fact that their diet is otherwise mostly fish and whale blubber. Are you an Eskimo?
                God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Hello from me

                  Originally posted by jumal_s6i_seeni View Post
                  Hi,
                  greetings to everyone in the landoverbaptist forums. I am a 30 year old male from Finland and joined the forums to educate myself on the matters of the theory of the Christian god.

                  Officially i am a a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and and its moral code is closest to my heart. On a personal level i additionally really like Norse mythology which is just cool with Thor and Valhalla etc.

                  So i will do some reading and browsing in the forum and perhaps ask some questions if i get confused about some of the commandments or postulates of Christianity.
                  Cheers!

                  Cheers is perhaps appropriate, as the Finns have the world's highest alcohol intake.


                  Jesus didn't mind a drop of wine but hated drunkenness.


                  I pray that you are one of those rare Finns who doesn't live in a permanent vodka haze.
                  58 If thou wilt not observe to do all the words of this law that are written in this book, that thou mayest fear this glorious and fearful name, THE LORD THY GOD; 59 Then the LORD will make thy plagues wonderful, and the plagues of thy seed, even great plagues, and of long continuance, and sore sicknesses, and of long continuance. 60 Moreover he will bring upon thee all the diseases of Egypt, which thou wast afraid of; and they shall cleave unto thee. 61 Also every sickness, and every plague, which is not written in the book of this law, them will the LORD bringk upon thee, until thou be destroyed.


                  Deuteronomy 28: 58- 61

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Hello from me

                    Originally posted by jumal_s6i_seeni View Post
                    Hi,
                    greetings to everyone in the landoverbaptist forums. I am a 30 year old male from Finland and joined the forums to educate myself on the matters of the theory of the Christian god.

                    Officially i am a a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and and its moral code is closest to my heart. On a personal level i additionally really like Norse mythology which is just cool with Thor and Valhalla etc.

                    So i will do some reading and browsing in the forum and perhaps ask some questions if i get confused about some of the commandments or postulates of Christianity.
                    Cheers!

                    Brother Jumal,


                    We simply adore foreigners here and stand ready and willing to help you release the noodly appendages of the spaghetti monster and grasp the nail scarred Hand of the Savior. The spiritual food you are currently having is not al dente in Jesus' sight, whereas the Bread of Life that is offered to you through the temporarily slain Body of Christ will give you nourishment until Jesus returns - which is very soon. Won't you open your heart to the truth and not let Jesus pasta by without confessing your grave sins to Him? He will wash you white as snow and provide you with life eternal. Time is short, friend. We will hold you up in prayer.


                    Your new friend,
                    NRL


                    PS: I am offering a free pie to anyone who accepts Jesus as Savior before midnight on Easter. (Must be verified by a pastor)
                    1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
                    Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
                    Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
                    Locations in 50 States and Canada
                    !Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
                    Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
                    Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.

                    Comment

                    Previous template Next
                    Working...
                    X