[satan's favorite holeboy]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

Friend, I want nothing more than for you to become Saved®. I think it's the booze talking when you make idiotic remarks on this board, so I won't hold it against you. I am glad that you have made the first step in admitting you are a sinner. You must realize without Christ, you are a worthless, pathetic insect, not even human.

Yet, you can change that. The blood of Jesus Christ can wash all your sins away and you will be granted the keys to the Kingdom of God. Isn't that wonderful? To know such a treasure can be given to you just by your own choice? I want you to say this prayer, right now, out loud, and with full honesty and humility. Are you ready?

Dear Lord Jesus,

I know that I am worthless. I know I am completely pathetic and miserable, dirty, evil, sinful, disgusting. I am the lowest of lows. I am a worm. Less than a worm. I don't even deserve to live. In short, I am exactly as you have created me. Dear wonderful, perfect God, I beg you for forgiveness for having been born imperfectly. I beg and plead down on my knees that I not be sent into a fire to be tormented and tortured forever and ever and ever because a distant ancestor of mine ate the wrong fruit. I ask You, who are perfect in mercy, to please try to find some way of receiving me into Your Eternal Kingdom even though I have disgraced You by not worshiping and adoring you up till now. So I ask that you pour the blood of Your only Son who is Yourself and died temporarily on the cross for me. I understand that this is the only way You could ever forgive me, oh Divine Master. I accept You as my personal savior, from now on I'll do absolutely everything you tell me to do. I'll follow the rules of the Bible to the letter and never sin again. I pray this in the name of You and of Your Father, and of the Holy Spirit who conceived You and is also You. Amen.

I am going to be blatantly honest with you, and please pardon my french (I know you hate those kind around here anyway). But i started reading this and thought wow... this guy is a real a$$h0le... and then i thought WOW I am a real a$$hole. But then I had a thought. I am worthless and all that other junk, and I am created in God's image?? That prayer is saying God himself is worthless?? Kind of confusing.
Also, I understand I have made MANY poor choices, but do I really have to degrade myself by saying I am a waste of a life to Our Savior? He knows it, and He knows I know it, and am I really a waste of a life anymore if i accept Him into my heart and my life? or is that what being saved is all about? that you ARE worthless until you accept Jesus. I guess that kind of makes sense... But if that is true, there are a TON!, and let me tell you, being a college student, A TOONNNN!!!! of worthless pieces of crap much worse than I. Is there any hope for them?

[NewlySaved]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

its more of a question to me as to whether there is a God or not, that seems to be the undying question in every religious debate i have taken part in, and i have heard nothing convincing from either side

Here's some food for thought. The USA is the greatest country in the world. We help more of our neighbors than anyone else despite the criticism and for nothing in return. We pledge allegiance to our flag UNDER GOD for a reason. IN GOD WE TRUST for a reason. If that isn't enough here's some more common sensical proof of the LORD: Take a look at yourself. Do the complex systems of your body appear to have come together by mere chance? You are a human being. The greatest species to have ever been created. The VAST majority of humans all agree in the existence of our God. These points are based on PURE COMMON SENSE ALONE which I have presented with the hope that you have some! Now I suggest you remove the seeds of doubt sewn into your mind by Satan, the great deceiver, and accept the LORD as your savior from the wonderful college friends of which you speak.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

ok so I confess I am a sinner and I need help and you all abandon me?? Some Children of God you all are...

Impatient eh, I can relate to that. I have been busy making sure one of my sons is working hard on my new sprinkler system, but that is another story.

its more of a question to me as to whether there is a God or not, that seems to be the undying question in every religious debate i have taken part in, and i have heard nothing convincing from either side

Then you have not been listening. I also highly doubt that you, as you claim, have been reading the Holy Bible.

I am going to be blatantly honest with you

Sure...

then i thought WOW I am a real a$$hole

Finally you are getting the message.

but do I really have to degrade myself by saying I am a waste of a life to Our Savior?

You have to be honest to God and that my friend is the truth about you.

that you ARE worthless until you accept Jesus

Yes it does mean that.

But if that is true, there are a TON!, and let me tell you, being a college student, A TOONNNN!!!! of worthless pieces of crap much worse than I. Is there any hope for them?

Only for a very few of them.

Praise the LORD!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

Jesus Christ is very important to me, however, i do feel that my friends and family are slightly more important.

That's exactly the wrong attitude to have. Here is what Jesus had to say on the matter. I know you don't like to read scripture but this is only one verse so you should be OK.

Matt 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Jesus shouldn't merely be "very important" to you. Jesus should be the most important thing in your life.

ok so I confess I am a sinner and I need help and you all abandon me?? Some Children of God you all are...

It was after midnight when you posted and I'm an old man. I was asleep.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[GOD=life]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

The Bible is no joke, son.

Do you want people to go Hell?

[satan's favorite holeboy]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

Well friends... it has been fun. but I really don't feel that this is the place for me. You people are absolutely nuts, and incredibly hypocritical. You tell me to love everyone (Jesus first), to repent for all the wrong I have done in my life, and to devote every waking moment that I have spare time to The Lord.

I might be ok with that, but I don't see too much of that going on at your ends. No, I did not make the most warming of welcomes, so i was not expecting to be accepted. The thing that bothers me is you people spend a HELL of a lot of time on this message board talking about chastity belts, beating your wives, and how, oh I don't know, 99.995% of this world is going to hell? (Somebody mentioned how you have 400,000 devout followers, but that's a damn small number compared to the world population of about 7,000,000,000) If you ask me, if there is a hell, its gonna be one hell of a party!! (see what I did there?? lol) The thing about it is, with all the time you spend on here bashing incoming people who have pure intentions (I've seen it, I'm not one), I doubt that that is making as much time for Jesus Christ as possible, or following the path that The Lord had set out for you. So I'll probably see most of you there as well

So with all that in mind... I hope to God that there is no God, so that I don't have to spend all eternity with you people. For that matter, siting in a room with you people for 10 minutes would be more of a hell than hell itself.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

Well friends... it has been fun

It has? Must have missed that part.

but I really don't feel that this is the place for me. You people are absolutely nuts, and incredibly hypocritical. You tell me to love everyone (Jesus first), to repent for all the wrong I have done in my life, and to devote every waking moment that I have spare time to The Lord.

We are trying to save your immortal soul from eternal damnation.

but that's a damn small number compared to the world population

Yes it is. The purpose of life is one big test if we are fit for Heaven. Most people fail that test and go to hell.

The thing about it is, with all the time you spend on here bashing incoming people who have pure intentions (I've seen it, I'm not one), I doubt that that is making as much time for Jesus Christ as possible, or following the path that The Lord had set out for you.

Our tough love is based on True Christianity.

So with all that in mind... I hope to God that there is no God

Hope all you want, in the end you will know the truth and then it will be too late for you.

siting in a room with you people for 10 minutes would be more of a hell than hell itself.

You're not such great company either. Being nice is not our goal here. Saving souls is.

[GOD=life]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

For that matter, siting in a room with you people for 10 minutes would be more of a hell than hell itself.

Thank you for sharing your opinion with us. We wish you a pleasant trip to Hell.

One thing though: ask your "friends" if they love you. It has helped a certain fellow named Bob (see chapter 3):

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=456953#post456953

[satan's favorite holeboy]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

It was after midnight when you posted and I'm an old man. I was asleep.

Pastor Billy-Reuben

I realized this after the fact. It's amazing how time can fly. I apologize for my outrageous impatience.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

I apologize for my outrageous impatience.

No problem, I am a very impatient person as well so I can relate to that.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

Well friends... it has been fun. but I really don't feel that this is the place for me. [...]

You will be back. Jesus has taken an interest in you.

So with all that in mind... I hope to God that there is no God, so that I don't have to spend all eternity with you people. For that matter, siting in a room with you people for 10 minutes would be more of a hell than hell itself.

Don't worry yourself. Accept Jesus and you'll be like us. Being a True Chtistian(tm) brings so much peace on the troubled soul.

I realized this after the fact. It's amazing how time can fly. I apologize for my outrageous impatience.

I thought you'd gone! What are you still doing here?

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

you still haven't answered how there is any proof that the bible is even true...however, i will not feel stupid if there is a second coming. once i experience it, i will accept it.

I am afraid you are missing the point. The issue is whether God™ will aceept YOU when he comes again.

Believing in Our Lord™ now is like storing up nuts or preserves for the winter. We know we are ready, and provided for. But no matter how we beg God™ to have mercy upon you on that firey day, most likely He™ will not.

Better to be prepared.

[satan's favorite holeboy]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

You will be back. Jesus has taken an interest in you. Don't worry yourself. Accept Jesus and you'll be like us. Being a True Chtistian™ brings so much peace on the troubled soul.

I thought you'd gone! What are you still doing here?

So wait... you tell me I will be back, tell me that Jesus can bring me peace, then chastise me for making an apology?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

So wait... you tell me I will be back, tell me that Jesus can bring me peace, then chastise me for making an apology?

Yes we are very consistent. We want you to find Jesus and we want you to leave us alone.

[GOD=life]

Re: what's wrong with you people?

Yes we are very consistent. We want you to find Jesus and we want you to leave us alone.

Amen to that, Brother!