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  • Hello

    I shall be honest here. I'm not a baptist, and I'm mostly here to learn about Christianity, and the world, basically.
    I'm Dutch, by the way.



    May I ask you why the/this baptist church is the best?
    Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

  • #2
    Re: Hello

    And I have another question. People on this forum sometimes use some offensive words and say certain people are damned, like atheist are damned, but also catholics. Isn't that bad in God's eyes?

    And I quite see myself as a hippie, and I'm against war and violence, although I also am anti all the muslim terrorists .
    Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hello

      Originally posted by Epicdude View Post
      And I have another question. People on this forum sometimes use some offensive words and say certain people are damned, like atheist are damned, but also catholics. Isn't that bad in God's eyes?
      We don't say that friend, God says that in The Bible that unbelievers and idolators are damned to hell if they don't repent.

      Why is it wrong for us to accurately and truthfully report what The Bible says?

      Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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      • #4
        Re: Hello

        If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

        If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

        You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

        Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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        • #5
          Re: Hello

          Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
          I shall be honest here. I'm not a baptist, and I'm mostly here to learn about Christianity, and the world, basically.
          I'm Dutch, by the way.



          May I ask you why the/this baptist church is the best?
          Oh, I see, you're Dutch. That explains why you are an arrogant, ignorant prick. I live in a part of the world were people think Jackalopes and Big Foot are real I swear I have never seen a people both so dumb and proud of it than the Dutch.

          Well the nice bit about having a Dutch poster is we can just mock you and never have to feel sorry.

          Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

          Hot Must ReadThreads!


          Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

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          • #6
            Re: Hello

            Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
            Oh, I see, you're Dutch. That explains why you are an arrogant, ignorant prick. I live in a part of the world were people think Jackalopes and Big Foot are real I swear I have never seen a people both so dumb and proud of it than the Dutch.

            Well the nice bit about having a Dutch poster is we can just mock you and never have to feel sorry.
            Do you mean the Dutch are proud of thinking Big Foot is real? Or do you mean the DUtch are proud of not living in a country where people believe in Big Foot?
            Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hello

              Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
              Do you mean the Dutch are proud of thinking Big Foot is real? Or do you mean the DUtch are proud of not living in a country where people believe in Big Foot?
              If you could stop having anal sex long enough to read Bobby-Joe's post you would have the answer to that question.

              The same goes for your original questions. Read the Bible, and there is your answer. We are the best church because we follow the Bible to the letter. It doesn't get any better than that. Every other church just follows the parts that agree with their personal feelings. We follow the whole thing, even when it might seem a little bit evil at first.

              If you keep on telling yourself that God is the ultimate moral authority, eventually you will see that everything the Bible recommends is perfectly moral, including beating your slaves into a coma, raping the virgin daughters of your enemies, stoning your own children for disobedience, and stoning perfect strangers for what they do in the privacy of their own homes with other consenting adults. How would we ever know that was the right thing to do without reading the Bible?
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              • #8
                Re: Hello

                Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                ...People on this forum sometimes use some offensive words and say certain people are damned, like atheist are damned, but also catholics. Isn't that bad in God's eyes?
                We don’t “call names” we merely follow the Holy Bible word by word:

                2 Timothy 4:1-2 "I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine."

                Yes, we are warning lost souls like you of God's punishment - unless you repent:

                2 Thessalonians 1:8-9 8 "In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ 9 Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power"

                Don’t take it personally; it’s not about you, but your Godless lifestyle.
                Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                I'm Dutch, by the way.
                So… are you from Dutchland, Deutschland, Holland or Neanderthalands?

                Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                May I ask you why the/this baptist church is the best?
                You should already know the answer: the Landover Baptist Church, of course!

                YiC, DUH
                Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


                ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hello

                  Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                  I shall be honest here. I'm not a baptist, and I'm mostly here to learn about Christianity, and the world, basically.
                  I'm Dutch, by the way.



                  May I ask you why the/this baptist church is the best?
                  Well friend, if that's what you are...you are in the wrong place to learn about the world.

                  John 15:19 If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

                  Christians are called to separate themselves from worldly values. If you want to learn about the world, you will need to go somewhere else.
                  Jeremiah 23:29 Is not my word like as a fire? saith the LORD; and like a hammer that breaketh the rock in pieces?

                  Ephesians 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Hello

                    Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                    I shall be honest here. I'm not a baptist, and I'm mostly here to learn about Christianity, and the world, basically.
                    I'm Dutch, by the way.



                    May I ask you why the/this baptist church is the best?
                    Welcome to the friendliest forum on the internet, friend!

                    Landover Baptist Church is the very best because this is the only church that does not worship an idol. You see, when one reads the Holy Scriptures and says to themselves, "Why, that doesn't make sense to me, I'll just pass over that part," they essentially declare themselves smarter than God. That, my friend, is idolatry because they change the bible they read to reflect what they think, as if they are God. Can you see how heretical and evil that is? Why, we would never do such a thing here. Unlike the papists, we don't add to the Holy Bible (Revelation 22:18) and unlike liberals and homosexuals, we don't take away from the Holy Bible either (Mat 5:18).

                    You see, we worship God Almighty because we read and follow every letter of the KJV Bible, His "love letter" to us! In His mercy, He created Heaven for those who love Him and Hell for those who don't. We here at Landover Baptist Church love Him and would never, ever presume to know more than God. Why, we're just humble servants! AND, the ladies here have the best pie, so I've been told.
                    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Hello

                      Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                      Welcome to the friendliest forum on the internet, friend!

                      Landover Baptist Church is the very best because this is the only church that does not worship an idol. You see, when one reads the Holy Scriptures and says to themselves, "Why, that doesn't make sense to me, I'll just pass over that part," they essentially declare themselves smarter than God. That, my friend, is idolatry because they change the bible they read to reflect what they think, as if they are God. Can you see how heretical and evil that is? Why, we would never do such a thing here. Unlike the papists, we don't add to the Holy Bible (Revelation 22:18) and unlike liberals and homosexuals, we don't take away from the Holy Bible either (Mat 5:18).

                      You see, we worship God Almighty because we read and follow every letter of the KJV Bible, His "love letter" to us! In His mercy, He created Heaven for those who love Him and Hell for those who don't. We here at Landover Baptist Church love Him and would never, ever presume to know more than God. Why, we're just humble servants! AND, the ladies here have the best pie, so I've been told.
                      Well, thank you. You really made it clear. And I love pie.
                      Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Hello

                        Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                        Well, thank you. You really made it clear. And I love pie.
                        I tentatively rejoice because you seem to be finally seeing the Truth®

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                        Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                        John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                        Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
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                        • #13
                          Re: Hello

                          What do you (the people of this community) think about black people?
                          Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Hello

                            Originally posted by Epicfool View Post
                            What do you (the people of this community) think about black people?
                            What a weird question. Are you a racist?
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                            • #15
                              Re: Hello

                              Originally posted by Alfred King View Post
                              What a weird question. Are you a racist?
                              I'm not, but I've seen someone with a KKK person on a horse (I believe it's from a film poster), and I just wondered.
                              Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

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