[Bethany Covington]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Will you two take your flirting with each other elsewhere?
This isn't a Lezbeean dating site you know

I am so, so sorry, Sister!
The only contact I've ever had with Lesbians is when Brand and I would try and save one of those poor souls. We both found that gentle discipline, usually with a brush, could work wonders for them.

[Miss April]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Praise The Amazing Lord Jesus that Those Two Wonderful True Chistians Find each other

[VictoryOS]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Everyone in this thread is so sweet for the kind words. Let's not forget though, Mr. Richards still hasn't sampled my cooking or seen what a clean house I keep!

[Miss April]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Everyone in this thread is so sweet for the kind words. Let's not forget though, Mr. Richards still hasn't sampled my cooking or seen what a clean house I keep!

Your very welcame Sister Victory Well i'm sure once he does he will love your cooking and the way you clean a house

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Everyone in this thread is so sweet for the kind words. Let's not forget though, Mr. Richards still hasn't sampled my cooking or seen what a clean house I keep!

From the references I've received I have no doubt that you will be able to fit my needs.

I have a big appetite, and I hope you can keep up with it.

My favorite home cooked meal is a big, juicy pot roast. You'll make that for me, won't you? I might also like to try your cake in a cup.

I hope to be on my way to Iowa this Monday.

[VictoryOS]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

My favorite home cooked meal is a big, juicy pot roast. You'll make that for me, won't you? I might also like to try your cake in a cup.

How did you know pot roast is my favorite? Pork roast is good too, but I'm willing to eat a pig any way I can get it! I'll make us the biggest pot roast I can lay my hands on. I got a double-sized crock pot second hand from a restaurant and I'm just dying to try it out.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

How did you know pot roast is my favorite? Pork roast is good too, but I'm willing to eat a pig any way I can get it! I'll make us the biggest pot roast I can lay my hands on. I got a double-sized crock pot second hand from a restaurant and I'm just dying to try it out.

Hold it right there you two love birds....Who have you got lined up as your chaperon? We can't have any whoredoms committed on my watch.

[Bob4God]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Zeke, I'm surprised they haven't even asked you yet! I couldn't think of a better chaperon than you, I'm sure they'll be happy to have you along to see the sights and have some pot roast.

[James Hutchins]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

They got their Whore-moans all in a bunch, those two do.

Knowing them like I do, I think a group of six DOF staffers with tasers may be needed.

[Ofc. Don W. Richards]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

Pastor Ezekiel, I and VickyOS would be more than happy to have you along as our chaperon. However, as a Law Enforcement Officer, I have a high degree of self control and intense psychological training that will be useful in helping me resist any temptations of the devil.

Sister Victory, I assume you as a female cannot drive, or at least are not very good at it. Could you arrange for me to be picked up at the Freehold Bus stop?

[VictoryOS]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

You're so right, it's like you already know me! My family finally forced me to stop driving after I totaled my last car. So now I leave the driving to the menfolk in my family since they're so much better at it.

My nephew will be available to get you in his pickup truck. I yelled at him for most of the morning until he finally cleaned it out so you wouldn't have to sit in a mess of fast food bags and empty cigarette packs. He's a good boy, but you may have to yell at him a lot or slap the cell phone out of his hand. Being an officer of the law, you can always give him a ticket if he speeds. I have some tapes of myself reading the Bible in the glovebox if you don't want to listen to his nigra music.

The pot roast is already in the slow cooker!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

< bump >

HE can't wait to dance at another wedding

[Phebe Carlyle]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

This thread will serve as a tool to help the single ladies of Landover land a good husband.

Here are a few tips to start. Please feel free to add your own suggestions. I'm sure the single ladies will appreciate it.

#1: Touch his arm when you are speaking to him. This will get his attention.

#2: Send him a random text message midday. A True Christian man will appreciate a special scripture quote.

#3: Ask him a question about something he knows a lot about (such JESUS or fixing cars or mowing the lawn)

#4: Give him a very specific compliment. Always make the compliment sincere.

(Telling a guy he's funny, handsome, or smart or extra GODLY is always appreciated but don't be too flirty, he will think you are a whore)

#5: Show off your cooking talents by baking him his favorite pie or a nice pot roast after Church on Sunday.

#6: Show off your cleaning abilities by cleaning his house on a weekly basis.

#7: Wash his feet like you would for JESUS.

Dating news flash: Guys like to show off for you. So if your True Christian gentleman could use an ego boost, there's nothing like letting him feel like an expert. Ask him about fishing, JESUS, how to BBQ the perfect pig -- whatever he's in to. Just remember to nod frequently and look really interested (but not like a whore).

Gosh! I am so glad you bumped this thread up Sister BTB!

Questions such as these have been floating through my mind for the past few days now and I have been near at my wits end as I didn't have the answers. But gosh darn it.. HERE THEY ARE like a miracle from The Lord Himself.

I do hope to show a certain beau just how well I can cook whilst in Freehold this weekend. I am a little concerned though. Should I ask him which of my delicacies he would like to devour, or should I just surprise him with an open slather of all my offerings?

Your wisdom on such matters would be greatly appreciated.

YIC,

Sister Phebe.

[James Dewitt]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband

I am as hungry as a bear, I plan on starting at one end of the buffet and slowly eating my way to the other. It has been a very long time and I might take 3 or 4 servings to fill me. After seeing a picture of your double dip cherry pie I might just bury my face in it, who needs a fork.
I just hope the slurping and licking sounds don't offend you.

[Sister Charli]

Re: How to Land a Good Husband