[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I am Scottish.
I have never consumed alcohol.
I have never worn a kilt.
I attend church every Sunday.
I currently attend university studying English so that I may become a teacher and therefore help others as they're growing up.
I should also point out, because you'll most likely accuse me of it if I don't, that I am not gay or into bestiality. I am also straight.

What is it about me that offends you so much?

I too am Scottish.
I have consumed alcohol in large excessively moderate amounts in the past. Now I only use it sparingly to enhance Scripture Perception during Bible Study.
I have worn a kilt many times. In the past. I have repented on that score.


What is it about all of that that YOU seem to think is so non-unworthy?

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

It's no secret that I have a devotion to great Scotch. My income as a pastor at a megachurch like Landover Baptist lets me indulge in fine Scotchs like Macallan 25, Glenfiddich 50, or Laphroaig 25*. When my parishoners come to a private session with me, there's always Rev. Jim sipping the fine flavor and offering it to my sheep.

It always comes down to discussing the intricacies of the Synoptic gospels and the subtle differences between the distilleries.

*Nose: Quite farmyardy to begin with, then wet flax, linen and a delicious sooty smoke - the signature Laphroaig coaldust aroma. Old school Laphroaig of the best kind. Palate: Richer than expected, with both a big coal hit and a syrupy, sherried sweetness. Very seaweedy. Develops woodsmoke. Power, sweetness and complex peat / smoke characteristics, with a reassuring weight on delivery. An accomplished, polished dram.
Finish: Very long, with a big spicy tingle and the sweetness coming through. Long coal burn. Salty. Wow, this really is long. Terrific.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

@Rev: Jim Osborne.

The Water of Life is actually one of the non-reproachable things my country has produced I'd say.

And the Bowmore Legend form Islay would shock your taste-buds and open the locks of Scripture simultaneously Brother. I think a bottle might be an acceptable portion of the yearly tithe, perhaps?

YIC. McUinnean of that Ilk.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

@Rev: Jim Osborne.
The Water of Life is actually one of the non-reproachable things my country has produced I'd say.

Revelation 22:1 And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.

If it's good enough for the Lord, it's good enough for me!

And the Bowmore Legend form Islay would shock your taste-buds and open the locks of Scripture simultaneously Brother. I think a bottle might be an acceptable portion of the yearly tithe, perhaps?

YIC. McUinnean of that Ilk.

Indeed. Send it my way. I texted you my home address on your cell phone. I await your generous gift, my brother.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

Revelation 22:1 And he shewed me a pure river of water of life, clear as crystal, proceeding out of the throne of God and of the Lamb.

If it's good enough for the Lord, it's good enough for me!

Indeed. Send it my way. I texted you my home address on your cell phone. I await your generous gift, my brother.

Received Brother. Will send it off tomorrow.

A gift for the Lord. Amen to that.

[Widows Son]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I too am Scottish.

Have you repented of eating deep fried mars bars, a vegetarian food? Vegans are modern day witches. Turn to your Bible:

Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; Speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; Forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats, which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth.

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

Have you repented of eating deep fried mars bars, a vegetarian food? Vegans are modern day witches. Turn to your Bible:

Never EVER liked that anyway, not that there's anything unGodly in a deep-fried Mars Bar, not in principle anyway.

Nevertheless, there are a number of curious suriosities that many of my compatriots seem to think either admirable or noteworthy insome way.

OK, the Scots have probably contributed more to 19th/20th Century technology than any other nation but WHAT is there of note or to be proud of from the following list?

(Found on another forum - contains much that even GoogleTranslate won't even attempt - please feel free to ask me for clarification)

Certainly doesn't impress ME much.

50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish



1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep-fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.

6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (In fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it)

9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland plays a diddy team.

11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

14. You are able to recognise the regional dialect,(Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few quines in the night, min.(Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen?

15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout-Errapolis.

16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxter's Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

19. A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

21. You know that the right response to 'you dancin?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school.

23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.'

25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

26. You are able to conduct a 20-minute phone call using three words only, -- Awright, aye, and naw.

27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' you no well?'

28. You have heard the following: You cannae fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,700 hungry weans'll testify to that, If its butter, cheese or jelly, If the breid is plain or pan, The chances o' it reachin earth, Are ninety-nine tae wan?

29. You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot.

30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heat wave back home.

31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

33. You love deep fried Pizza.

34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

35. You are used to four seasons in one day.(Winter, winter, autumn, winter)

36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

37. You see people wearing shell suits with Burberry accessories, and think 'that's class'.

38. You measure distance in minutes.

39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think its abroad.

41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.

43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang over cure.

48. You could swear before you could count.

49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

50. You are not only Scottish but Glaswegian when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat.

[JEANNIE960]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I as a Scotswoman am visiting your forum for the first time and I can scarcely believe what I'm reading! I am a good clean living family orientated person who neither drinks, smokes or curses. You call yourself Christians yet you malign and belittle those that you know so little about or consider to be awash with sin.......take a good long hard look in the mirror my friends Do you really think that God wants his disciples on this earth to behave the way that you are? Do you think that your attitude towards your fellow human beings will earn you a straight passage to heaven? I think not!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I as a Scotswoman am visiting your forum

Did you ask your husband's permission to post here? Or is he too drunk to respond?

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I as a Scotswoman am visiting your forum for the first time and I can scarcely believe what I'm reading! I am a good clean living family orientated person who neither drinks, smokes or curses. You call yourself Christians yet you malign and belittle those that you know so little about or consider to be awash with sin.......take a good long hard look in the mirror my friends Do you really think that God wants his disciples on this earth to behave the way that you are? Do you think that your attitude towards your fellow human beings will earn you a straight passage to heaven? I think not!

Dear friend:

If we have said or done anything Biblically unsound, please quote the passages of the King James Bible that we have violated. Thank you, and have a blessed day.

[Widows Son]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I as a Scotswoman [ . . . ]. I think not!

That's not very Christian of you. If you want to think, try Atheism. Atheists allow women to work and even keep their own money.

Meanwhile, back on topic, after that interuption by a woman, I am pleased to report that God is punishing Scotland with inclement weather.



Praise the sweet name of Jesus.

[Barry]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

I as a Scotswoman am visiting your forum for the first time and I can scarcely believe what I'm reading! I am a good clean living family orientated person who neither drinks, smokes or curses. You call yourself Christians yet you malign and belittle those that you know so little about or consider to be awash with sin.......take a good long hard look in the mirror my friends Do you really think that God wants his disciples on this earth to behave the way that you are? Do you think that your attitude towards your fellow human beings will earn you a straight passage to heaven? I think not!

Scots women are always like that which is why a wall was built to keep the out. If you allow them to breed, ginger things appear and there is, as I am sure you all aware, no ginger in the Holy Bible.

[Seth Campbell]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

Never EVER liked that anyway, not that there's anything unGodly in a deep-fried Mars Bar, not in principle anyway.

Nevertheless, there are a number of curious suriosities that many of my compatriots seem to think either admirable or noteworthy insome way.

OK, the Scots have probably contributed more to 19th/20th Century technology than any other nation but WHAT is there of note or to be proud of from the following list?

(Found on another forum - contains much that even GoogleTranslate won't even attempt - please feel free to ask me for clarification)

Certainly doesn't impress ME much.

50 pure dead giveaways that you are Scottish



1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep-fried - Haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.
Deep-fried Haggis?
6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.
Guilty
8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (In fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it)

9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland plays a diddy team.

11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

14. You are able to recognise the regional dialect,(Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? Fair few quines in the night, min.(Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen?

15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout-Errapolis.

16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxter's Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.
Yeah, mom still loved to do the Scottish cooking.
19. A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.
Of course. Take care of the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves!
21. You know that the right response to 'you dancin?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school.
Not just a Scottish thing.
23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.'

25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

26. You are able to conduct a 20-minute phone call using three words only, -- Awright, aye, and naw.

27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' you no well?'

28. You have heard the following: You cannae fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,700 hungry weans'll testify to that, If its butter, cheese or jelly, If the breid is plain or pan, The chances o' it reachin earth, Are ninety-nine tae wan?

29. You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot.

30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heat wave back home.

31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

33. You love deep fried Pizza.

34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

35. You are used to four seasons in one day.(Winter, winter, autumn, winter)
Of course, I used to live in Calgary, AB
36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

37. You see people wearing shell suits with Burberry accessories, and think 'that's class'.

38. You measure distance in minutes.

39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think its abroad.

41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.
Well I wouldn't say "enjoy", but I'm not going to turn it down if it's offered.
43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.
In America, it's called Walmart.
46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang over cure.

48. You could swear before you could count.

49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

50. You are not only Scottish but Glaswegian when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat.

So 8 out of 50. For a second generation (all though my parents were children when they emigrated) I'm not sure how that counts.

[Widows Son]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

dead giveaways that you are Scottish [ . . . ] You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

Nothing gets past you, does it?

[Lost Sheep McUinnean]

Re: GOD HATES SCOTLAND !

Nothing gets past you, does it?

Well THAT comment certainly did.