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I’d like to give some publicity to a business here in Landover. A business that’s run by an old friend who is a great help in times of trouble. You can find it in the new Biblical Science Park between "Bob4God’s Gun Shop" and “The Widows Might Christian Dating Agency.” I’ll say straight away that I’m a shareholder and the more business that it gets, the more my shares rise. However, I’ll set that aside and tell you what I know for certain.
It’s a new type of garage business called “L & Son” and it is run by Len Jones (His friends call him “L”) and his son, Jessie. They really are a team – and Jessie is so like his father (who doesn’t seem to age) that it's probably impossible to tell them apart.
When “L” created the business all those years ago, he did it in a remarkably short time: he had the water and lighting up and running in well under a week and all the other stuff followed in short-order. There’s some really interesting stuff around – you need to look in the place to appreciate how complex some of it is – and it’s all his design.
“So what’s so good?” I hear you say. Well, what about this – in the early days, every car in that workshop was perfect. Yes, no rust, no marks, always started, completely reliable, stopped when required, drove like a dream – some say the cars ran perfectly without gas...
There was a set-back when someone used a piece of equipment without knowing what it would do, L had told everyone to keep away but, of course, people are fallible and the worst happened. And then there was the flood and the period when the business moved out of town and discovered that conditions were not great. The path back to Landover was hard and long, but they made it despite opposition.
Things went on an “L” produced a son – Jessie. (It was a little embarrassing at the time, the woman was already married, but things sorted themselves out OK.)
Jessie turns out to be a genius – at the age of 12 or 13, he was found lecturing old-time mechanics at the Ford franchise, and impressing them! He knowledge of Dodge transmissions and BMW chain-cam engines turned their worlds upside down! And what he didn’t know about the history of the automobile was not worth knowing – he could quote you the torque settings for every nut on every car.
By about 28/29, he has turned his hand to restoring vehicles that didn’t even look like vehicles they were so bad – seized brakes; terminal rust; shed con-rods; jammed gearboxes, even cars that had been totaled! You name it, he would fix it there and then! I remember he threw in a wonderful trick that no one’s worked out yet: he used only a gallon of gas and a pint of oil to get countless cars to drive down to Des Moines – and back!. Some mechanic!
Then there’s the story of the amphibious car – drove on roads, sailed across the water – what a thing that must have been. I never saw it myself, but there’s plenty who have.
“When’s ole Bathfire going to come to the point?” you say… OK… here’s the thing, with L’s blessing, Jessie launched to best after-care service ever! You pay him his dues, and, whereas he cannot promise that your car will always run perfectly whilst you have it, he does promise that if the car is ever taken to the junk yard for the last time, he will make sure that it is moved to a secret location and fully restored! It will be so good - it will be museum-quality.
(I’ll tell you now that he’s not interested in the luxury end of the market – Jessie says that those cars have had an easy life and their owners kept them well – when they go, they’ll be melted down.)
So, if your an ordinary sort of Joe, with one of those cars that can be temperamental and sometimes worries you or causes you pain, suffering and grief, get yourself along to “L & Son” and just accept that your car will eventually be fully restored and kept in the finest conditions known to the automobile industry.
FAQ:
Q: Can I go and see my car at this secret location?
A: Currently this is not possible. L & Son are hoping that when there are enough who have signed up that Jessie will come and dispose of unsuitable vehicles. At this time, those who have signed up will be taken to the secret location and be able to get into their cars.
Q: Can I see my car or hear it running if it’s in the secret location? You know like on Skype or something?
A: Quite impossible. Seeing or hearing the perfection would just be too much for you. You would be completely dissatisfied with the car you now had or indeed, ever had.
Q: How do I know that my car has not been scrapped and recycled?
A: Both L and Jessie have told you that this is not the case – this is their entire business model – would they risk that?
Q: What are the terms and condition for this great deal?
A: There’s stuff like: You won’t go to any other workshop; you won’t become dissatisfied with your car and you won’t start eying your friend’s car; you won’t invent problems with your car or be inaccurate about what needs to be done to the car; you won’t scrap your car or any other, etc. It’s all straightforward stuff – don’t be put off by the fact that the contract is over 500 pages: if you simply do what’s required, the deal’s on.
Q: I heard tell that Jessie chased off all the crooks who were using that place near his yard to push shady finance deals – is that right?
A: Indeed it is! Jessie thinks that they were lowering the tone of the neighborhood. There were 30 of them and only one Jessie. He did the right thing - I’m sure you’ll agree.
Q: I once heard that a guy on a lonely road broke down at night – he looked under the hood and the engine block had cracked – there was water and oil everywhere. Then he saw the lights of a massive semi coming towards him. The semi was loaded with cars just like the ones at the secret location and the guy could hear their engines throbbing in tune. The semi stopped and Jessie lent out and asked him why he had stopped. The guy said his engine was toast. Jessie said, “Drive on.” And the semi moved off. When the guy got in the car, it started first time! Is this true?
A:It seems unlikely, doesn’t it? But then I hear stories like that all the time. I heard tell of a woman who was taking a Mustang that her dear old mother had owned to L to be fixed. The gearbox could not move out of 1st, the brakes pulled to the side and the poor woman had spent her last dollar on that car at some fake garage where she’d been ripped off. She took a wrong turning and before she knew it, she was lost in a ghetto… and the front suspension collapsed. At that moment, a bunch of traffic cops appeared, and she knew she was in trouble because they saw the car and reached for their tickets. That woman called out to L & Son in the darkness and rain.
The rain stopped, the street-lighting came on and, seemingly, out of nowhere, Jessie appeared. The woman fell on her knees and confessed how she had been deceived and cried that she had been wrong not to accept Jessie’s deal. Jessie told her to stand up and never to make foolish decisions again. She looked at the Mustang and it was like new. And all the traffic cops had to rip up their tickets – that car was perfect.
Q: This secret location must be pretty big by now – how come no one’s found it?
A: Oh, it’s there all right. Those who have signed up with L & Son just know it’s there. Others may look for it but, without understanding what L & Son’s business model is, they aren’t going to find it. You might say, “It exists everywhere.” You know, if you pay L & Son their dues and take on board their wonderful service promise – you will understand where it is. But there’s no use trying to tell those who reject the idea. I speak to L & Son about this regularly – L says those people made their choice freely and their cars will be destroyed, scrapped, melted down.
If you have any questions, let me know, I'll do my best to answer, and if I can't, I'll ask L or Jessie.
It’s a new type of garage business called “L & Son” and it is run by Len Jones (His friends call him “L”) and his son, Jessie. They really are a team – and Jessie is so like his father (who doesn’t seem to age) that it's probably impossible to tell them apart.
When “L” created the business all those years ago, he did it in a remarkably short time: he had the water and lighting up and running in well under a week and all the other stuff followed in short-order. There’s some really interesting stuff around – you need to look in the place to appreciate how complex some of it is – and it’s all his design.
“So what’s so good?” I hear you say. Well, what about this – in the early days, every car in that workshop was perfect. Yes, no rust, no marks, always started, completely reliable, stopped when required, drove like a dream – some say the cars ran perfectly without gas...
There was a set-back when someone used a piece of equipment without knowing what it would do, L had told everyone to keep away but, of course, people are fallible and the worst happened. And then there was the flood and the period when the business moved out of town and discovered that conditions were not great. The path back to Landover was hard and long, but they made it despite opposition.
Things went on an “L” produced a son – Jessie. (It was a little embarrassing at the time, the woman was already married, but things sorted themselves out OK.)
Jessie turns out to be a genius – at the age of 12 or 13, he was found lecturing old-time mechanics at the Ford franchise, and impressing them! He knowledge of Dodge transmissions and BMW chain-cam engines turned their worlds upside down! And what he didn’t know about the history of the automobile was not worth knowing – he could quote you the torque settings for every nut on every car.
By about 28/29, he has turned his hand to restoring vehicles that didn’t even look like vehicles they were so bad – seized brakes; terminal rust; shed con-rods; jammed gearboxes, even cars that had been totaled! You name it, he would fix it there and then! I remember he threw in a wonderful trick that no one’s worked out yet: he used only a gallon of gas and a pint of oil to get countless cars to drive down to Des Moines – and back!. Some mechanic!
Then there’s the story of the amphibious car – drove on roads, sailed across the water – what a thing that must have been. I never saw it myself, but there’s plenty who have.
“When’s ole Bathfire going to come to the point?” you say… OK… here’s the thing, with L’s blessing, Jessie launched to best after-care service ever! You pay him his dues, and, whereas he cannot promise that your car will always run perfectly whilst you have it, he does promise that if the car is ever taken to the junk yard for the last time, he will make sure that it is moved to a secret location and fully restored! It will be so good - it will be museum-quality.
(I’ll tell you now that he’s not interested in the luxury end of the market – Jessie says that those cars have had an easy life and their owners kept them well – when they go, they’ll be melted down.)
So, if your an ordinary sort of Joe, with one of those cars that can be temperamental and sometimes worries you or causes you pain, suffering and grief, get yourself along to “L & Son” and just accept that your car will eventually be fully restored and kept in the finest conditions known to the automobile industry.
FAQ:
Q: Can I go and see my car at this secret location?
A: Currently this is not possible. L & Son are hoping that when there are enough who have signed up that Jessie will come and dispose of unsuitable vehicles. At this time, those who have signed up will be taken to the secret location and be able to get into their cars.
Q: Can I see my car or hear it running if it’s in the secret location? You know like on Skype or something?
A: Quite impossible. Seeing or hearing the perfection would just be too much for you. You would be completely dissatisfied with the car you now had or indeed, ever had.
Q: How do I know that my car has not been scrapped and recycled?
A: Both L and Jessie have told you that this is not the case – this is their entire business model – would they risk that?
Q: What are the terms and condition for this great deal?
A: There’s stuff like: You won’t go to any other workshop; you won’t become dissatisfied with your car and you won’t start eying your friend’s car; you won’t invent problems with your car or be inaccurate about what needs to be done to the car; you won’t scrap your car or any other, etc. It’s all straightforward stuff – don’t be put off by the fact that the contract is over 500 pages: if you simply do what’s required, the deal’s on.
Q: I heard tell that Jessie chased off all the crooks who were using that place near his yard to push shady finance deals – is that right?
A: Indeed it is! Jessie thinks that they were lowering the tone of the neighborhood. There were 30 of them and only one Jessie. He did the right thing - I’m sure you’ll agree.
Q: I once heard that a guy on a lonely road broke down at night – he looked under the hood and the engine block had cracked – there was water and oil everywhere. Then he saw the lights of a massive semi coming towards him. The semi was loaded with cars just like the ones at the secret location and the guy could hear their engines throbbing in tune. The semi stopped and Jessie lent out and asked him why he had stopped. The guy said his engine was toast. Jessie said, “Drive on.” And the semi moved off. When the guy got in the car, it started first time! Is this true?
A:It seems unlikely, doesn’t it? But then I hear stories like that all the time. I heard tell of a woman who was taking a Mustang that her dear old mother had owned to L to be fixed. The gearbox could not move out of 1st, the brakes pulled to the side and the poor woman had spent her last dollar on that car at some fake garage where she’d been ripped off. She took a wrong turning and before she knew it, she was lost in a ghetto… and the front suspension collapsed. At that moment, a bunch of traffic cops appeared, and she knew she was in trouble because they saw the car and reached for their tickets. That woman called out to L & Son in the darkness and rain.
The rain stopped, the street-lighting came on and, seemingly, out of nowhere, Jessie appeared. The woman fell on her knees and confessed how she had been deceived and cried that she had been wrong not to accept Jessie’s deal. Jessie told her to stand up and never to make foolish decisions again. She looked at the Mustang and it was like new. And all the traffic cops had to rip up their tickets – that car was perfect.
Q: This secret location must be pretty big by now – how come no one’s found it?
A: Oh, it’s there all right. Those who have signed up with L & Son just know it’s there. Others may look for it but, without understanding what L & Son’s business model is, they aren’t going to find it. You might say, “It exists everywhere.” You know, if you pay L & Son their dues and take on board their wonderful service promise – you will understand where it is. But there’s no use trying to tell those who reject the idea. I speak to L & Son about this regularly – L says those people made their choice freely and their cars will be destroyed, scrapped, melted down.
If you have any questions, let me know, I'll do my best to answer, and if I can't, I'll ask L or Jessie.
(Betweeen you and me though, L is the one with some wealth behind him, though it's all tied up in property - multistory properties. But the majority of even L's wealth is hidden away somewhere safe from damage and devaluation.) 
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