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  • Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

    All American hero Donald Trump described Covid-19 as 'a blessing from God'.

    I think that is truly amazing. I want to receive the same blessing!

    What is the most reliable way to get Coronavirus?

    I already threw away all my protective gear and invited a few friends who have Covid-19, and refuse treatment of course, to receive the same blessing. I also stopped washing my hands and started hugging random people.

    Would this do the trick? Is there more I can do?
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

  • #2
    Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

    As far as I know, a Trump rally is the fastest way.
    1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.

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    • #3
      Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

      Oh, dear Brother Cranky: In addition to Brother Gonzalez' brilliant suggestion, I might also suggest that you attend any public protests that are nearby. It would be especially to your benefit in catching the Chinese Flu if you went to protests that pertain to the lockdown, the silly restrictions, Governors' anti- orders, etc. Now, in order to get the full effect, might I suggest that you "get in people's faces" as much as possible, as you shall see in the second photo? Good luck, Dear, and do let us know of your progress.



      (Mrs.) Isabella White

      Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus"

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

        Originally posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
        As far as I know, a Trump rally is the fastest way.
        That, or working in the White House. Truly, Donald Trump wants to share this blessing with all of America. That's how much he cares!
        The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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        • #5
          Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

          President Donald Trump pronounced himself a "perfect physical specimen" on Fox Business as he brushed off the coronavirus infection that forced him into three days of hospitalization.

          Recuperating from the coronavirus and plunging in the polls, President Trump is retreating to his safe spaces: Twitter, Fox, and rallies.


          Trump hasn't received a negative test yet and tested positive a week ago so if you're lucky you might be able to get it from Trump himself! What a blessing that would be.
          Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

            Originally posted by Brother Gonzalez View Post
            As far as I know, a Trump rally is the fastest way.
            Originally posted by Prayer Warrior View Post
            Trump hasn't received a negative test yet and tested positive a week ago so if you're lucky you might be able to get it from Trump himself! What a blessing that would be.
            Great advice! I will be on the first flight to Florida as Donald Trump will have a rally there real soon. And, of course, no one will wear a mask!

            I can not wait to catch Covid-19!

            I am almost 10 years older than Donald Trump. I have no doubt I will be extra blessed!

            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

              According to the Japs the fastest way is to eat a bat I believe.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                This is higly annoying. I just arrived in Florida but Donald Trump has been delayed until Monday.

                Originally posted by Bjorn Jensen View Post
                According to the Japs the fastest way is to eat a bat I believe.
                That sounds like good advice. I will try Krakatoa Indonesian Cuisine and see if they serve bats there.
                5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                  I can see it now. Much like the modern day prophet Peter Popoff, Donald J Trump who we all know is God’s best businessman aside from Jesus, will start marketing “Trump DNA”. Let Trump’s DNA slide right into your insides and his godliness will surely bless you with a fool proof vaccine against COVID-19 as told in Isiah 41:10! Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                    Originally posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
                    I can see it now. Much like the modern day prophet Peter Popoff, Donald J Trump who we all know is God’s best businessman aside from Jesus, will start marketing “Trump DNA”. Let Trump’s DNA slide right into your insides and his godliness will surely bless you with a fool proof vaccine against COVID-19 as told in Isiah 41:10! Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.
                    Isn't DNA in the human spit? That means rather than drawing blood and looking for antibodies or whatever, Trump can now heal the sick by spitting at them - just like Jesus!

                    Mark 8:23-24
                    23 And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.
                    24 And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking.
                    God created fossils to test our faith.

                    * * *

                    My favorite LBC sermons:
                    True Christians are Perfect!
                    True Christian™ Love.
                    Salvation™ made Easy!
                    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
                    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
                    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
                    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
                    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
                    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
                    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
                    God HATES Rational Thinking!
                    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                      Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
                      Isn't DNA in the human spit? That means rather than drawing blood and looking for antibodies or whatever, Trump can now heal the sick by spitting at them - just like Jesus!

                      Mark 8:23-24
                      23 And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.
                      24 And he looked up, and said, I see men as trees, walking.
                      Those verses have always worried me, Sister. If the blind man saw walking trees instead of actual men ... well, that wasn't ideal, was it? But perhaps something has been lost in translation.

                      I do agree, though, that the President should be looking at sharing his own precious bodily fluids with selected Real Americans™ in the interests of True Christian™ scientific studies.
                      Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                        Donald Trump is almost here in Florida! I cannot wait to get blessed with Covid-19!
                        5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                        To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                        James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                          My understanding is that the best way to contract the "Rona" is to check yourself in to one of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's nursing homes.

                          People are leaving New York so fast that Jesus has reportedly parted the waters of the Hudson, so rents should be real cheap now.
                          Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
                          brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
                          ...and get off my lawn
                          sigpic

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                          • #14
                            Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                            I got kissed by Donald Trump!!!

                            As we all know Donald Trump is about keeping promises and he kept his "I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women and the -- everybody. I'll just give everybody a big, fat kiss" promise with me! It was not gay at all. A real wet and manly kiss on the lips!

                            Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
                            My understanding is that the best way to contract the "Rona" is to check yourself in to one of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo's nursing homes.
                            That is a great idea! I have an old friend, whose horrible children put him there, I can visit. His children don't even bother to visit lately, it's really awful. I'll comfort my friend by assuring him his children will all burn in Hell for all eternity! It's partly his fault though because he didn't hit his children enough. (Proverbs 23:13-14)

                            I an certain I will be blessed with Covid-19 real soon now!
                            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
                            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
                            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Advice needed: What is the fastest way to get Covid-19?

                              Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                              I got kissed by Donald Trump!!!

                              As we all know Donald Trump is about keeping promises and he kept his "I'll kiss the guys and the beautiful women and the -- everybody. I'll just give everybody a big, fat kiss" promise with me! It was not gay at all. A real wet and manly kiss on the lips!

                              That is a great idea! I have an old friend, whose horrible children put him there, I can visit. His children don't even bother to visit lately, it's really awful. I'll comfort my friend by assuring him his children will all burn in Hell for all eternity! It's partly his fault though because he didn't hit his children enough. (Proverbs 23:13-14)

                              I an certain I will be blessed with Covid-19 real soon now!
                              In exchange for a hefty donation to the land of Freehold, could I buy a hug so that some of its greatness may rub off of me? I’ll be sure to say “no homer” so that it isn’t against God.

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