The Use of Dung

[TC Patriot]

“If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the Lord of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it” (Malachi 2:2-3).

“Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Philippians 3:8).

The other afternoon a couple of Jehovah Witnesses showed up with their nonsense and false Christianity and of course I told them how full of crap they are but Satan has such a grip on them that they did not here any of the True Christian Word. The wife suggested that next time they or some other false religionists show up that we throw dung at them. I think she may be onto something but I have questions regarding the use of dung.

Would it please Jesus if we True Christians were to throw dung at his enemies?

Are there any specific types of dung that would be off limits?

Would one want to use the same type of dung on a homer that we might throw at a Wiccan or Catholic.

Should we throw dung at Muslimes? They already smell worse than any dung I have ever smelled.

Homers also seem to like dung being that they love putting their penises in it.

Negroes have an odor not unlike dung. Maybe monkey dung would be fitting for them.

I think the most foul smelling dung is the dung of the big jungle cats.

Your thoughts?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: The Use of Dung

Please don't get sister SUV started on her famous dung bread.

[Larry Lee]

Re: The Use of Dung

Would it please Jesus if we True Christians were to throw dung at his enemies?

Are there any specific types of dung that would be off limits?

Would one want to use the same type of dung on a homer that we might throw at a Wiccan or Catholic.

Should we throw dung at Muslimes? They already smell worse than any dung I have ever smelled.

Homers also seem to like dung being that they love putting their penises in it.

Negroes have an odor not unlike dung. Maybe monkey dung would be fitting for them.

I think the most foul smelling dung is the dung of the big jungle cats.

Your thoughts?

An interesting point of theology, TCP. I'm waiting to hear what True Christians™ think of your suggestions.

The Holy King James 1611 Bible is rich in the lore of dung and its ethnographic history. I've always been surprised that the ancient Iraqi custom of eating their own dung and drinking their own "piss" (to use the KJV1611 word for it; 2nd Kings 18:27) isn't more widely known. But then, why should I be surprised at a paucity of Biblical knowledge in secular times like these?

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: The Use of Dung

There are 24 mentions of dung in the Old Testament (4 as an adjective in Nehemiah and 8 elsewhere as a simile for the dead enemies of God.) and 2 in the New Testament. However, scholars of Biblical Dung notice that there are only 5 categories of dung noted

• • Ex:29:14: Bullock’s dung
  • Nu:19:5 a heifer’s dung
  • Eze:4:15, Le:16:27 etc., Cattle dung (both cows and bullocks) which is the preferred dung for cooking
  • 2Ki:6:25 Doves’ dung which is valuable as a source of nitrates and sold by the cab, “the fourth part of a cab of which is worth five pieces of silver.” i.e. $16 a gallon.
  • Eze:4:12 Human dung, which is unpleasant but can be used for cooking and the ungodly shall eat 2Ki:18:27 & Isa:36:12:
  • Mal:2:3 Dung which is spread upon faces
  • Lu:13:8: Dung in general which is a fertilizer but obviously not as good as Doves’ dung.

Nephew Zebulun has a habit of announcing this list in a loud voice and then adding, “You see, Brothers and Sisters, there is no Bullshit in the Bible but quite a lot of bullocks!” (To my mind, it is funny the first time, but wears a little thin on retelling.)

[TC Patriot]

Re: The Use of Dung

Dung of pigs would be good for throwing at Muslimes and Joos. Muslimes are especially terrified of anything porcine in nature. I think back to Black Pershing having his troops lubricate their bullets in pork fat for shooting Muslims and then burying dead Muslimes with the entrails of pigs.

Homers should have the dung of True Christian women smeared on their faces and lesbeans need to have the dung of True Christian men smeared on them.

Activist judges require the fresh steaming poo of our Godly president George W Bush.

Most of your run of the mill liebruls could use a good dose of the dung of Rush Limbaugh and G. Gordon Liddy.

Wiccans who are usually tree huggers would be great candidates for the dung of Ted Nugent.

The anti-2nd amendment gun grabbing goons need to swim in the piss and dung of all Godly NRA members.

Peaceniks should eat bread made with the dung of John McCain.

[Bob4God]

Re: The Use of Dung

Malachi 2:3 has always been one of my favorite verses, because it is a wonderful portrait of the loving relationship between a GOD and His pets. When they misbehave, He rubs feces on their faces, much like I did with my puppy when he would poo poo on the carpet.

It really puts it into terms that we can understand and appreciate!

I'd say go around town with a pooper scooper and collect all the dog droppings you can find. Then bring them back home, and keep them on hand for the next time an unsaved heathen comes knocking on your door.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: The Use of Dung

An interesting point of theology, TCP. I'm waiting to hear what True Christians™ think of your suggestions.

Godly thought Brother Lee. Clearly we TRUE Christians(tm) are well qualified to discuss dung (Biblically speaking). There is no others more of full of it when it comes to the Message of God.