[Born-Again Atheist]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Scientists think that humans have only worked the earth for some 10,000years.. So how then could they have been cultivated during millions of years?

The 10,000years thing is actually pretty close to the truth however, as man has worked the earth as long as we have existed:
Which is about 6,000 years.

If I believed in a god I would have thought him a great scientist- he would have needed to be to make the universe! Unless you look at creation a different way as like Ricky Gervais....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaEj3...related&search=

Ahahahahahahahaaaaa

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

If I believed in a god I would have thought him a great scientist-

Can a scientist create ANYTHING new, out of nothing? No? What a surprise..
Scientists got nothing but theories, and desperate attempts at trying to create anything out of nothing.
God can do just that, and more still.

he would have needed to be to make the universe!

You think God, who can do ANYTHING, couldn't create the universe?

Unless you look at creation a different way as like Ricky Gervais....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaEj3...related&search=

Ahahahahahahahaaaaa

Wow, you can post a video of a comedian mocking God, that must make everything you say right!

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

This is disgusting!

Ladies, don't read this! And skip over the quote below! (Vulgar language has been replaced by icons. This does not make it suitable for children!)

The Banana: The Christian's Nightmare

We all know that sex is as pleasurable as it is functional. Our species wants to live on, and procreation (through the act of sex) accomplishes that goal. But as we also all know, sex feels good -- and we do it more often for pleasure than for procreation. And while it takes two to tango, it only takes one to feel good sexually. Of course, it's not nearly as fun going solo, but it certainly does do the trick.

Modern technology and advances in the manufacture of synthetics and small battery operated vibrating devices have given women in need of "something special" all sorts of wonderful sex toys to do the job when no man is available. Ask any woman over the age of 30 (who isn't shy or a prude) and you'll hear a testament to the merits of and .

But the technology that has given women these toys of pleasure has not always existed. What did women do before the advent of these modern sexual conveniences? What did Eve, Ruth, Ester, and all their biblical sisters do back then?

God gave women sex organs through which sexual pleasure may be derived. If we were designed, as Christians argue, then God certainly wanted women to have pleasure because he gave them all the parts that provide it. And as God is all-knowing, he certainly knew long before each one of us were even born, that there would often be times throughout our lives where those strong sexual urges would drive us mad because we had no available partner to take care of business.


So being the all-knowing, all-powerful, kind, and loving God that our designer and creator is, he gave women the banana. And anyone with only an ounce of common sense and even the most clouded power of perception can see the brilliance of god's perfect design of this particular fruit.


The banana...

1. is perfectly shaped to fit the human hand.
2. has a point at its top for ease of entry.
3. is curved towards the to make the penetration process easy.
4. has a tab at the bottom to hold and control the motion of the banana when completely inserted.
5. just like the human , it is perfectly shaped for the human .
6. if held so that its curve is pointed upward after insertion, it hits the -Spot perfectly!
7. has a soft wrapper so that the delicate lining of the isn't scraped.
8. has a non-slip surface so that you won't lose control of the device while enjoying the ride. (Women, how much do you like it when your man's keeps slipping out?)
9. has outward indicators of inward content. Green bananas are the hardest, which women seem to prefer, and are required to attain the best penetration. Yellow lets you know that it's getting softer and may not be useful for much longer. Black lets you know that it's a far too late to be put in your . (How many women want a limp, mushy anyway?) Keep in mind that these color codes also indicate if the banana is suitable for eating. Just like a vigorous weight training workout, overuse of the banana for sexual gratification will deplete the body of energy, as well as cause muscle cramps. Ever get a leg (or other body part) cramp during or after sex? You sweat, lose body fluids, and get dehydrated. Ask anyone with knowledge of human physiology and nutrition and you'll learn quickly that the banana is the perfect recovery food!
10. has a protective covering to prevent -al matter (or fecal matter, in the case of God's homosexual children) from spoiling the fruit inside.
11. has a tab at the bottom to facilitate removal of its wrapper.
12. is perforated on its wrapper for easy peeling.
13. has a bio-degradable wrapper for post-coital disposal.
14. is pleasing to taste buds as well as the .
15. has a high potassium content, which quickly alleviates muscle cramps.
16. has a high caloric and carbohydrate content to refuel the body after sexual exertion.

To say that the banana's perfect design for sexual gratification just happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=Pastor Ezekiel;37744]See for yourself HERE. /quote]

The only thing bananas prove the existence of is banana trees.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[QUOTE=BadAssButterfly;57301]

See for yourself HERE. /quote]

The only thing bananas prove the existence of is banana trees.

You have scales on your eyes, and your father is satan. Of course you cannot see.

John 8:43 Why do ye not understand my speech? even because ye cannot hear my word.8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. 8:45 And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=Pastor Ezekiel;57645]

You have scales on your eyes, and your father is satan. Of course you cannot see.

A little eyeliner and mascara, yes. Glitter eye shadow for Mardi Gras and New Year's Eve, sure. Scales, no.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[QUOTE=BadAssButterfly;57646]

A little eyeliner and mascara, yes. Glitter eye shadow for Mardi Gras and New Year's Eve, sure. Scales, no.

I noticed that you didn't even bother to deny that your father is satan.

[BadAssButterfly (On Moderation)]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=Pastor Ezekiel;57647]

I noticed that you didn't even bother to deny that your father is satan.

We've been through that on several other threads. My dad is an ordinary human man.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=BadAssButterfly;57648]

We've been through that on several other threads. My dad is an ordinary human man.

That's what satan would have you believe harlot! Only when you open your heart to Jesus will you recognize the error of your ways!

[R-R-R]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=Warrior in Christ;57657]

That's what satan would have you believe harlot! Only when you open your heart to Jesus will you recognize the error of your ways!

I agree... Ignorance is bliss, at least untill you die it is. After that you'll realize it's too late and you're in deep doo-doo. Or, helllfire, to be more precise. If you accept Jesus so many things will become clear to you, things you never even noticed before.

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

I agree... Ignorance is bliss, at least untill you die it is. After that you'll realize it's too late and you're in deep doo-doo. Or, helllfire, to be more precise. If you accept Jesus so many things will become clear to you, things you never even noticed before.

Well, it's good to see that you are very much in touch with the True Christian way of thinking. But would you be willing to stick to the word of the Bible(KJV1611) even through the toughest of times? That's a question that we all have to ask ourselves constantly, and if the answer is no then you're not a True Christian. Jesus sees all.

[R-R-R]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

Well, it's good to see that you are very much in touch with the True Christian way of thinking. But would you be willing to stick to the word of the Bible(KJV1611) even through the toughest of times? That's a question that we all have to ask ourselves constantly, and if the answer is no then you're not a True Christian. Jesus sees all.

I'm not there fully yet, but I'm working on it (as you can see in the introduction topic).

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

I agree... Ignorance is bliss, at least untill you die it is. After that you'll realize it's too late and you're in deep doo-doo. Or, helllfire, to be more precise. If you accept Jesus so many things will become clear to you, things you never even noticed before.

Perhaps you can give an example?

[R-R-R]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

[quote=OnYourKnees;59366]

Perhaps you can give an example?

Of things that you will notice that you haven't noticed before accepting Jesus you mean? Well, first off, a less troubled mindset regarding secular matters in general. Also, Jesus' words, as well as the words in the KJV in general, seem to advocate so much wisdom. By rejecting Jesus we reject His wisdom, yet by accepting Him we can come to realize all sorts of things about life that we previously might have overlooked. For example, the fact that people should be able to have faith instead of requiring empiric verification. A verse that describes this, in my opinion, is John 20:29 (hence the signature).

Of course it's likely the changes God - and His Holy Word, the KJV - result in will vary per person, according to their own state of mind and predicament before and during the process of accepting Jesus. One of my major changes was a more open view on faith (again, the signature is quite fitting), but for any other person the emphasis could very well be on something else.

Does this answer your question sufficiently, Brother OYK?

[kikirnw]

Re: Bananas Prove God Exists

You know, I've never noticed until i saw that video but bannas do remind of something. Hmm?...........I wonder what that can be? I bet Moon knows what I'm talking about. By the way where is Moon? I hope she's doing ok.