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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to GOD's very FAVORITE Pastor!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
A blessed birthday my Pastor, my Leader, my Hero, my guide to the Heavenly bliss and Joy with Jesus. As the Rapture approaches, I am elated to be in safe hands with you fighting alongside Jesus against the swarming troops of Satan!
Psalms 144:1
(A Psalm of David.) Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
PS. As my applications to give up my missionary position in Europe for a permanent post in Landover University remain enigmatically unanswered, I won't be delivering your birthday tithe in person. Instead, my second eldest Mark, now 16, will be my go-between. He's been employed part-time by an elderly unmarried but very sophisticated gentleman who apparently can use Mark for various chores. The boy has been very hard-working and he's even spent several nights with his new friend, visiting operatic performances, art exhibitions and whorse races. This gentleman is very well off and in appreciation of Mark's strenous efforts he's willing to donate a considerable sum for the new jet. Mark will be at your disposal for as long as you have needs for him.2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:- Hitler is Alive!
- Hitler - the First man on the Moon!
- Hitler was maybe a Nazi!
- Hitler and the English Royal Family!
- Vladimir Putin is immortal! Perhaps Hitler is, too?
- Paris Hilton for President and the Hitler connection!
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel! I hope you have a blessed day.And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy Birthday! May the LORD give you everything that you desire on your special day.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Psalms:39:4: LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am.
Psalms:39:5: Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.
Words to consider from the wonderful world of The Bible as your journey to Paradise grows nearer its end. This is not time for levity, but more a reflection on Perfection.
Happy Birthday.
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Author of such illuminating essays as,
“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy Birthday, Pastor Ezekiel. How old are you now, 29? It is a miracle God entered you at such a early age and filled you with a never ending eruption of His devotion to all those worthy of Him.
I mailed yo a 'Universal Club Card' that will pay any libations you may need for the next 12 months. I know the laying of hands and delivering of sermons along with going down on the less fortunate all take a toll on your heavenly throat.
As a gag gift, I sent along one of these. I know you have a few already but, this one is painted a opalescent Black.Attached FilesIsaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy Birthday to a courageous Man of God who is not afraid to tell the masses what will happen, according to the Holy Bible, even if it isn't "PC." Your courage under constant threat of government persecution is an inspiration to us all.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy birthday Pastor Zeke! Thank you for providing such godly leadership to all of us here. The world is greatly blessed by you!"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy Birthday
While it may sometimes seem as though your selfless acts of love go unappreciated, please know they don’t. You are dearly loved by those whom you serve. Pastor, I wish you a wonderful birthday with plenty of blessings from above.
Tobias1st Corinthians 1:26 For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called:Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy birthday, Zeke. Um, did you get the nice e-card I sent you?
I'm a little short on cash this month...
WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
now can we let man marry each other?Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Pastor Zeke, please ignore the trolling of the wretched beast who posted above me and have a wonderful birthday in spite of the persecution.Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Happy Birthday, Zeke!
We don't see eye too eye very often (actually, have we ever?) but this place would not be the same without you and I'm very glad to have you around. Even when we disagree, I always enjoy our discussions.
I hope your birthday is great and that you feel celebrated and appreciated.
Many Happy Returns
,
AliciaThis space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMINComment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
29 years old. For me that's so long ago that I can hardly remember what I was doing at that age.
We are truly blessed having God's favorite Pastor at our side. Next time you visit I will treat you to a freshly poured glass of water!
John 4:14 - King James Version (KJV)
14 But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
- Protect your family the Christian way! Get your daughter raped!
- Only Sluts Get Raped! (1st Timothy 2:9)
- Down syndrome is a lifestyle choice!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."Comment
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Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Pastor Zeke!
Beloved Pastor Zeke,
I apologize for not posting sooner here in the most important thread on this site!
I do hope that cake I've sent you yesterday:
God created fossils to test our faith.
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My favorite LBC sermons:
True Christians are Perfect!
True Christian™ Love.
Salvation™ made Easy!
You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
God HATES Rational Thinking!
True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.Comment
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