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  • Basilissa
    South of the Border outreach program
    True Christian™
     
    • Mar 2013
    • 12997

    #1

    Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

    I wish you a Blessed Birthday, Pastor. You are "the other Pastor Ezekiel" that everyone admires, loves, and cherishes.



    God created fossils to test our faith.

    * * *

    My favorite LBC sermons:
    True Christians are Perfect!
    True Christian™ Love.
    Salvation™ made Easy!
    You can’t be a Christian if you don’t believe the Old Testament.
    Jesus is impolite. Deal with it.
    Jesus is xenophobic and so should we.
    Sanctity of Life is NOT a Biblical Concept.
    Biblical view on modern-day slavery.
    The Immorality of the "Universal Declaration of Human Rights."
    Geneva Conventions vs. The Holy Bible.
    God HATES Rational Thinking!
    True Christian™ Man as a spitting image of God.
  • James Hutchins
    True Christian™
    Just a Regular Nice Guy
     
    • Jun 2009
    • 29457

    #2
    Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

    Ah my good friend, Brother Bathfire. It is truly a testament to Gods Divine Plan® that you are still above ground and not lounging in Heaven. I have to say, there are days I've seen you taking a nap after a nip in the Landover mens Club, ensconced in a over stuffed high back leather chair in front of the fire, you Bible in your lap. I had more than once sent Chester over with a mirror to check on you.

    Are you in to triple digits yet?

    A case of Glenfarclas 1959 #3226 will be at your door today with my best wishes. Please save a drop for me to try during my next visit.
    Attached Files
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

    Comment

    • handmaiden
      Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
      True Christian™
      • May 2010
      • 11628

      #3
      Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

      Dear Esteemed Brother Bathfire;


      I know how you long to be done with this mortal world and sit before Jesus' feet. Waiting for the unfolding of The Lord's Will can be vexing. Remember that all creation groans as you do to shout out to Glory.


      Happy Birthday. As an astute Bible scholar, you would know what Leviticus has to say about squirrels.


      Revelation 5:13


      And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.
      His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

      Guns For God and the Economy

      Comment

      • Isabella White
        True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
         
        • Mar 2019
        • 4379

        #4
        Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

        And may I offer my heartfelt wishes for a very happy birthday celebration to you, dear Brother Bathfire. May the blessed be with you today as He draws you nearer to .

        Sincerely, Isabella W.
        (Mrs.) Isabella White

        Hebrews 10:19 " Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

        Comment

        • Joanna Lytton-Vasey
          True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
           
          • Jul 2014
          • 8456

          #5
          Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

          May God bless you on the anniversary of your birth, dear Pastor Bathfire, and not suffer you to endure another year. Ecclesiastes 12:7 - Then shall the dust return to the earth as it was: and the spirit shall return unto God who gave it.
          Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!

          Comment

          • Ezekiel Bathfire
            Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
            Christ's Rottweiler
             
            • Jan 2008
            • 22929

            #6
            Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

            Originally posted by Basilissa View Post
            I wish you a Blessed Birthday, Pastor.
            Bless you sister: I will pray for the healing of your rash.
            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel
            OK, old timer. The Baz woman is correct that you're also an Ezekiel but I'm the only Zeke that there is. You'll be relatively close to my position in heaven, tho'! Who are you referring to? I hope for your sake that me, as you, Baz, should remember 1 Timothy 2:15.

            I expect double to triple birthday tithes from y'all next year. Off to Mar-a-Lago.
            Of course Pastor Flint, you're quite right, Pastor Flint. Should I continue with the "rash prayers"?

            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
            I've seen you taking a nap ... in the Landover mens Club, ensconced in a over stuffed high back leather chair in front of the fire, you Bible in your lap. I had more than once sent Chester over with a mirror to check on you.
            Tell him to be careful where he rests his hands while doing that! And, as it happens I am usually in deep reverence when so seated. I'll have you know I'm as fresh as I was 25 years ago on my 60th.

            A case of Glenfarclas 1959 #3226 will be at your door today with my best wishes. Please save a drop for me to try during my next visit.
            Call round any time. You never did finish that story of the den of catamites.

            Originally posted by handmaiden View Post
            Dear Esteemed Brother Bathfire;

            Happy Birthday. As an astute Bible scholar, you would know what Leviticus has to say about squirrels.
            They're unclean.
            Revelation 5:13
            And every creature which is in heaven, and on the earth, and under the earth, and such as are in the sea, and all that are in them, heard I saying, Blessing, and honour, and glory, and power, be unto him that sitteth upon the throne, and unto the Lamb for ever and ever.
            I long to hear speaking racoons - I have this theory that they will speak like Obama did.

            Originally posted by Isabella White View Post
            And may I offer my heartfelt wishes for a very happy birthday celebration to you, dear Brother Bathfire.
            That cake... can I order one for my funeral? Obviously the message will have to be changed but there is something about it -something quite serious - and I don't want people happy at what will be such a sad time for everyone except me.
            sigpic


            “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

            Author of such illuminating essays as,
            Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

            Comment

            • Cranky Old Man
              Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
              You kids get off his lawn!
               
              • Jan 2010
              • 22380

              #7
              Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

              I am sorry I slept through your birthday. Did I miss anything?
              5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
              To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
              James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

              Comment

              • Emily Brent
                Rocks For Brains, Unsaved trash, hopelessly weird
                • May 2013
                • 111

                #8
                Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

                Happy Birthday Mr. Bathfire.



                We are strangers, but nothing seals a lasting mutual companionship like lobster souffle.


                No spoose should be more attractive than the other - that way, no one is satisfied, and the marriage can be happy.

                Comment

                • Ezekiel Bathfire
                  Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                  Christ's Rottweiler
                   
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 22929

                  #9
                  Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

                  That's marvellous!! It looks good enough to eat. I must be careful though, my wife has just had the carpet in my prayer closet cleaned.
                  sigpic


                  “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                  Author of such illuminating essays as,
                  Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                  Comment

                  • Ezekiel Bathfire
                    Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                    Christ's Rottweiler
                     
                    • Jan 2008
                    • 22929

                    #10
                    Re: Happy Birthday, Pastor Bathfire!

                    Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                    I am sorry I slept through your birthday. Did I miss anything?
                    Who're you?
                    sigpic


                    “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                    Author of such illuminating essays as,
                    Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                    Comment

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