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  • Janine Walker
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2010
    • 420

    #1

    True Christians™ ONLY!

    FOR TRUE CHRISTIANS™ ONLY
    (sorry, had to make sure that it was clear even though I know non True Christians™ cannot see this forum.)

    I just had a great idea! I'm sure I'm not the only who dislikes all the atheists roaming around her spewing their teenage angst all over the forum. Say let's start a thread that just says "free" then inside that thread have the first post that says free and inside that will link them to a website that gives them a virus. It sounds awful at first but we need to fight fire with fire.

    We could have the virus make it so their computer is more or less one giant 1611 KJV Bible. The virus would flip through the texts of the KJV1611 and they'd have to fill out a quiz as they go along. It would then keep saying "fill out next quiz for FREE" and since every atheist is stupid and loves the notion of free they'll surely be compelled to do it. After completing all the quizzes and reading the entire KJV1611 surely they will have changed their minds and they will be rewarded with "A CHANCE INTO HEAVEN" screen which shows a picture of Jesus.



    Who's up for it?

    Reward screen would be like this but one of Freehold's photoshop graphic designer experts would do it to make it look more rewarding.
  • Mistress Cookie
    Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2008
    • 6790

    #2
    Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

    Originally posted by Janine Walker View Post
    FOR TRUE CHRISTIANS™ ONLY
    ....let's start a thread that just says "free" then inside that thread have the first post that says free and inside that will link them to a website that gives them a virus...We could have the virus make it so their computer is more or less one giant 1611 KJV Bible.
    True Christian(tm) reporting, here.

    You are a true, holy crusader, Sister Janine. Almost like Joan of Arc in her day. (Which, let me stress, was before mine.)

    You give me hope for your generation

    I definitely think this idea has possibilities. Let's see what the Pastors and Male Elders think.

    Comment

    • Gabriel Reproba
      Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
      The Most Honest Lawyer in America
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2009
      • 2479

      #3
      Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

      I think the idea has merit. However, we should not call this a "virus" because that implies malicious intent. It is actually very beneficial since it is an attempt to save people from going to Hell. Perhaps give it a more friendly sounding name? Something like "Multipurpose Atheist-Lover Warning And Redemption Executable." As for users not knowing about it getting installed on their computers, aren't the best gifts the ones you don't take credit for?

      I think one of the barriers to having one of us come up with this in that we all use the JesOS operating system on our computers. That means we can't test the software gift on our own computers since we would want the executable to work on the OS most popular with atheists: Mac OS.
      Yours In Christ,

      Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

      Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

      Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
      Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
      The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
      Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
      How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
      20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
      God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
      Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
      Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
      Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
      There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
      Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

      Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

      Comment

      • Billy Bob Jenkins
        Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
        About as Straight and Manly as you can get
        Hates anal sex. And trees.
        True Christian™
        • May 2010
        • 8337

        #4
        Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

        Originally posted by Gabriel Reproba View Post
        I think one of the barriers to having one of us come up with this in that we all use the JesOS operating system on our computers. That means we can't test the software gift on our own computers since we would want the executable to work on the OS most popular with atheists: Mac OS.
        We can always find a homosexual and test it on his or her Mac OS. Hang around a military recruiting station. I'm sure you'll find lots of openly homosexual men and women looking for work.
        The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

        Comment

        • Dillon
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Dec 2010
          • 56

          #5
          Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

          As a software engineer I would be happy to make a mockup version of this in the following days, but sadly I have never developed for the Mac OS as I am not of the homosexual descent.

          If a Windows version is needed, let me know.

          Yours in Christ,
          -Dillon Marigold

          P.S. Janine, I think something is wrong with your thread as I can see this and am not yet a True Christian™ (Perhaps your settings extended it to "Forum Members"?). My apologies for barging in unwelcome but this happens to be my area of expertise
          SaveTheNigras [REMOVED]
          Why God hates the Federal Reserve
          My Biblical reasoning why the unsaved are unwelcome

          Comment

          • MitzaLizalor
            Completely CRAZY for the Lord
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2010
            • 14674

            #6
            Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

            Originally posted by Billy Bob Jenkins View Post
            We can always find a homosexual and test it on his or her Mac OS. Hang around a military recruiting station. I'm sure you'll find lots of openly homosexual men and women looking for work.
            Mr. Jenkins, I'm thinking of travelling to Colorado in the near future and gooogled Denver and..
            and.. (please don't click.. but.. is it true??)
            I can't stop vomiting
            ________________________________

            EDIT: it is too awful — but there it is — can somebody delete this post?
            -> but then, no: I need to know about Denver Colorado and nahfrf COPY & click to defibrillate

            Comment

            • Johannes Kirkeholm
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Oct 2010
              • 395

              #7
              Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

              Great idea! It will probably trick a lot of cheapskate jews too!
              To the atheists:

              To the false christians:

              Feel like pissing off God? Perhaps this will change your mind:

              Hosea 13:16
              Samaria shall become desolate; for she hath rebelled against her God: they shall fall by the sword: their infants shall be dashed in pieces, and their women with child shall be ripped up.

              Comment

              • Gabriel Reproba
                Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team
                The Most Honest Lawyer in America
                True Christian™
                • Nov 2009
                • 2479

                #8
                Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                Originally posted by Johannes Kirkeholm View Post
                Great idea! It will probably trick a lot of cheapskate jews too!

                Good point! Perhaps Multipurpose Atheist-Lover Warning And Redemption Executable....maybe we should just call it "M.A.L.W.A.R.E." for short?...would be useful on Linux. Nothing shouts cheapskate like jewing Microsoft out of their money with open source.
                Yours In Christ,

                Gabriel Reproba, Esq. (Lawyer for the Lord)

                Further reading to help you become a True Christian™

                Stoning Sinners: A How-To Guide
                Scientific Study: Bible is NOT "All About Love"
                The One Sin Jesus Says He Won't EVER Forgive!
                Should we only follow SOME of the Bible?
                How will YOU sacrifice your kids?
                20 Questions To See If Your Son Is A Fag
                God: Dress Like A Whore...Get Raped!
                Bible: If You Love Your Wife, Beat Her!
                Logic and Bible Agree: Gay is a choice!
                Nursery Rhymes Teach kids that Christ is Lord!
                There is no such thing as an "agnostic!"
                Science: People are Only Islamic Because They are Depressed!

                Reading only the parts of the Bible your pastor tells you to (those that make you feel warm and fuzzy) is nothing but mental and spiritual masturbation. Read the WHOLE Bible to find out what Christianity is REALLY all about! Only then can you talk to us about why we try so hard to save people from Hell.

                Comment

                • Cindy Lou Jenkins
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2010
                  • 238

                  #9
                  Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                  Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                  Mr. Jenkins, I'm thinking of travelling to Colorado in the near future and gooogled Denver and..
                  and.. (please don't click.. but.. is it true??)
                  I can't stop vomiting

                  ________________________________

                  EDIT: it is too awful — but there it is — can somebody delete this post?
                  -> but then, no: I need to know about Denver Colorado and nahfrf COPY & click to defibrillate
                  Well, my husband tells me that Denver is nowhere near as bad as Boulder, but that it is in fact true that the homosexuals involved in the Gay Apple Conspiracy do not extend their buggery only to members of the same sex, but to quadrupeds as well.

                  (Billy Bob: I approve this post.)
                  1 Corinthians 11:3
                  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                  Property of Billy Bob Jenkins

                  Comment

                  • MitzaLizalor
                    Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2010
                    • 14674

                    #10
                    Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                    Originally posted by Cindy Lou Jenkins View Post
                    Well, my husband tells me that Denver is nowhere near as bad as Boulder, but that it is in fact true that the homosexuals involved in the Gay Apple Conspiracy do not extend their buggery only to members of the same sex, but to quadrupeds as well.

                    (Billy Bob: I approve this post.)
                    Mr. Jenkins could you please thank your wife for the information, I will be particularly careful. Or not go there.

                    Regards,
                    ML

                    Comment

                    • Billy Bob Jenkins
                      Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                      About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                      Hates anal sex. And trees.
                      True Christian™
                      • May 2010
                      • 8337

                      #11
                      Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                      Originally posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
                      Mr. Jenkins could you please thank your wife for the information, I will be particularly careful. Or not go there.

                      Regards,
                      ML
                      She is just so helpful, isn't she.
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                      Comment

                      • Janine Walker
                        True Christian™
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 420

                        #12
                        Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                        Originally posted by Dillon View Post
                        As a software engineer I would be happy to make a mockup version of this in the following days, but sadly I have never developed for the Mac OS as I am not of the homosexual descent.

                        If a Windows version is needed, let me know.

                        Yours in Christ,
                        -Dillon Marigold

                        P.S. Janine, I think something is wrong with your thread as I can see this and am not yet a True Christian™ (Perhaps your settings extended it to "Forum Members"?). My apologies for barging in unwelcome but this happens to be my area of expertise
                        Oh my gosh! How did you get in here?!!?!? Are you a hacker?!

                        Comment

                        • Ezekiel Bathfire
                          Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                          Christ's Rottweiler
                           
                          • Jan 2008
                          • 22929

                          #13
                          Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                          Originally posted by Dillon View Post
                          As a software engineer I would be happy to make a mockup version of this in the following days, but sadly I have never developed for the Mac OS as I am not of the homosexual descent.

                          If a Windows version is needed, let me know.

                          Yours in Christ,
                          -Dillon Marigold
                          I doubt you will be familiar with JesOS 7
                          sigpic


                          “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                          Author of such illuminating essays as,
                          Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                          Comment

                          • Lady Delacroix
                            Unsaved trash, feminazi whore
                            • Jan 2011
                            • 50

                            #14
                            Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                            Originally posted by Janine Walker View Post
                            Oh my gosh! How did you get in here?!!?!? Are you a hacker?!
                            I'm not sure what kind of "security system" you have, but I was able to simply click on the thread and I could see it.
                            Perhaps you should re-check the thread settings.
                            Song of Solomon 4:5
                            Thy two breasts [are] like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies.

                            Comment

                            • Janine Walker
                              True Christian™
                              • Dec 2010
                              • 420

                              #15
                              Re: True Christians™ ONLY!

                              Originally posted by Lady Delacroix View Post
                              I'm not sure what kind of "security system" you have, but I was able to simply click on the thread and I could see it.
                              Perhaps you should re-check the thread settings.
                              WOW, UNSAVED TRASH IN HERE TOO? DO WE HAVE NO RIGHTS AS TRUE CHRISTIANS™?

                              I WILL PRAY FOR THIS FORUM, JANINE WALKER.

                              Comment

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