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  • Dr. Santiago Solo
    On Permanent Assignment in Peru
    Forum Member
    • Dec 2007
    • 860

    #31
    Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

    Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
    But she was revealed to me in her infinite wisdom that you are not patient, but frightened of the imaginary concept of hell! GLORY TO HER! You are so afraid of hell, that you dare not do ANYTHING that might make you risk going there! Well, I suggest you fear the pit, for it is REAL and if you continue on this path, you will know for sure ONLY when it's too late!

    And as for the tithing, all scammers shall have their part in the pit! They will reap what they sow!
    I am afraid if you keep sowing mockery to this Blessed© Church, you will bring a nice ban to your deluded head... Aeternal damnation? not funny...
    Bringing Geology back to Christ!

    I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

    Comment

    • JonathanClement
      Confirmed Enemy of God
      BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
      • Mar 2008
      • 37

      #32
      Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

      Originally posted by SanzSolo View Post
      I am afraid if you keep sowing mockery to this Blessed© Church, you will bring a nice ban to your deluded head... Aeternal damnation? not funny...
      Of course eternal damnation isn't funny. That's why she sent ME. To FREE you from that fear, because she LOVES you! Way more than you can imagine! You would reject the free gift of freedom? Why?

      (*You're not actually serious about banning me, are you? You realize this is all in good humor right, and not an attempt to troll or take down the website?)

      *All serious posts are in brackets.

      Comment

      • Dr. Santiago Solo
        On Permanent Assignment in Peru
        Forum Member
        • Dec 2007
        • 860

        #33
        Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

        Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
        Of course eternal damnation isn't funny. That's why she sent ME. To FREE you from that fear, because she LOVES you! Way more than you can imagine! You would reject the free gift of freedom? Why?

        (*You're not actually serious about banning me, are you? You realize this is all in good humor right, and not an attempt to troll or take down the website?)

        *All serious posts are in brackets.
        Well, the thing is I cannot see what is more outrageous, your clear Demon Possession, or your constant repetition of lame, uninventive posts, I would continue, but I have grass to watch grow (and I don't have the power to ban you, only a Pastor or Moderator can, so watch your manners with them and this Holy® Church).
        Bringing Geology back to Christ!

        I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

        Comment

        • Wide-Open
          Director of European Evangelical Outreach
          A Shining Example of Christ's Love
          Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
          True Christian™
          • Nov 2007
          • 18449

          #34
          Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

          Originally posted by SanzSolo View Post
          I am completely sure, for the Lord is my Shepherd, and my Rock
          Jonathan, listen to this guy. He may not be a True Christian - the DOF is still investigating, and the LORD knows what they'll come up with - but he does know his rocks!
          Psalm 81:10:
          I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
          open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.

          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621

            #35
            Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

            Friend, you're just babbling nonsense now. If God was a woman, s/He would need to cut herself off from her creation (I'm not capitalising 'her', because it's not a correct way of referring to Our Lord in the first place) for at least seven days every month, during her unclean time. How could an omnipresent being do that? It just wouldn't make any kind of sense.

            Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
            (*You're not actually serious about banning me, are you? You realize this is all in good humor right, and not an attempt to troll or take down the website?)

            *All serious posts are in brackets.
            That's a flat-out lie. This post is as serious as the fires of Hell. But then again, you didn't put brackets around "All serious posts are in brackets", so maybe we're not meant to take that statement seriously? Friend, you are crazy in the head.
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • JonathanClement
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Mar 2008
              • 37

              #36
              Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              Friend, you're just babbling nonsense now. If God was a woman, s/He would need to cut herself off from her creation (I'm not capitalising 'her', because it's not a correct way of referring to Our Lord in the first place) for at least seven days every month, during her unclean time. How could an omnipresent being do that? It just wouldn't make any kind of sense.



              That's a flat-out lie. This post is as serious as the fires of Hell. But then again, you didn't put brackets around "All serious posts are in brackets", so maybe we're not meant to take that statement seriously? Friend, you are crazy in the head.
              Once again, I point out that the bible is a lie, so, the bit about having to cut Herself off from Her creation is rediculous and unfounded. Why would she need to do that, anyway? If She's the supreme being, which She is, She wouldn't NEED to do that! So, your logic is faulty! Therefore, I SPEAK THE TRUTH!

              (And yeah, maybe I'm a bit crazy. Who knows? I mean, I've been going nuts over the diarrhea dump called "zeitgeist". I've NEVER gonna get over that thing... )

              Comment

              • Ezekiel Bathfire
                Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
                Christ's Rottweiler
                 
                • Jan 2008
                • 22895

                #37
                Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
                Once again, I point out that the bible is a lie, so, the bit about having to cut Herself off from Her creation is rediculous and unfounded. Why would she need to do that, anyway? If She's the supreme being, which She is, She wouldn't NEED to do that! So, your logic is faulty! Therefore, I SPEAK THE TRUTH!

                (And yeah, maybe I'm a bit crazy. Who knows? I mean, I've been going nuts over the diarrhea dump called "zeitgeist". I've NEVER gonna get over that thing... )
                You need those demons driving out boy, that's the long and the short of it.
                sigpic


                “We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

                Author of such illuminating essays as,
                Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

                Comment

                • Don the Baptist
                  True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2008
                  • 480

                  #38
                  Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                  Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
                  (And yeah, maybe I'm a bit crazy. Who knows?
                  A BIT? - I'd say that's an understatement. If this is what you call a BIT, you probably couldn't hit a bull in the ass with a bass fiddle, you're unsteady young fella...

                  Get right with Jesus, that'll straighten ya out!
                  Isaiah 36.12 - But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

                  Comment

                  • JonathanClement
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Mar 2008
                    • 37

                    #39
                    Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
                    You need those demons driving out boy, that's the long and the short of it.
                    Prove to me the demons exist.

                    Comment

                    • Dr. Santiago Solo
                      On Permanent Assignment in Peru
                      Forum Member
                      • Dec 2007
                      • 860

                      #40
                      Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                      Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
                      Prove to me the demons exist.
                      They are speaking to you, my friend, using you, making you babble incoherencies...
                      Bringing Geology back to Christ!

                      I believe Dr. Hovind to be completely innocent of the alleged crime of "tax evasion", and furthermore believe Hovind's 10 year sentence to be patently unjust and based upon an effort to silence his ministry.

                      Comment

                      • Bobby-Joe
                        Landover Security Superviser
                        Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                        NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 18405

                        #41
                        Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                        Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
                        Prove to me the demons exist.
                        That is easy.

                        Next question?

                        Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                        Hot Must ReadThreads!


                        Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                        Comment

                        • JonathanClement
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Mar 2008
                          • 37

                          #42
                          Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                          Originally posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
                          That is easy.

                          Next question?
                          Sorry, try again.

                          Comment

                          • Bobby-Joe
                            Landover Security Superviser
                            Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
                            NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2006
                            • 18405

                            #43
                            Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                            Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
                            Sorry, try again.
                            Not scary enough of a demon for you? Well try this tough guy

                            Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

                            Hot Must ReadThreads!


                            Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!

                            Comment

                            • Don the Baptist
                              True Christian™
                              True Christian™
                              • Mar 2008
                              • 480

                              #44
                              Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                              Originally posted by JonathanClement View Post
                              Sorry, try again.
                              Turn with me if you will in your KJV to Mark 5:6-13:

                              But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,

                              And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not. For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.
                              And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country. Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding. And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them. And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand and were choked in the sea.
                              Proof positive right there young fella.
                              Isaiah 36.12 - But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

                              Comment

                              • JonathanClement
                                Confirmed Enemy of God
                                BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                                • Mar 2008
                                • 37

                                #45
                                Re: Hey, guys! ^.^

                                Originally posted by NoNameAtAll View Post
                                Turn with me if you will in your KJV to Mark 5:6-13:

                                But when he saw Jesus afar off, he ran and worshipped him,

                                And cried with a loud voice, and said, What have I to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of the most high God? I adjure thee by God, that thou torment me not. For he said unto him, Come out of the man, thou unclean spirit.
                                And he asked him, What is thy name? And he answered, saying, My name is Legion: for we are many. And he besought him much that he would not send them away out of the country. Now there was there nigh unto the mountains a great herd of swine feeding. And all the devils besought him, saying, Send us into the swine, that we may enter into them. And forthwith Jesus gave them leave. And the unclean spirits went out, and entered into the swine: and the herd ran violently down a steep place into the sea, (they were about two thousand and were choked in the sea.
                                Proof positive right there young fella.
                                When I saw proof, I don't mean people you hate due to your primitive, retarded prejudice, or some 2000 year old book that was written 70 years after Christs time anyway. For such things, I quote a famous internet meme: Pics, or it didn't happen.

                                Comment

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